


The Queen's Mephistopheles

by ThreeLinks



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, F/F, Multiple Personalities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-12 22:44:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 52,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3358025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeLinks/pseuds/ThreeLinks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Princess Anna comes to terms with her unorthodox love for her sister, Queen Elsa is experimenting with her newfound powers and makes a startling discovery about her powers and herself on the eve of Anna's confession. Elsa's life is turned inside out and both girls are forced to face the consequence that result from their decisions (contains onionElsa, evilElsa, earlyElsa)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_I had a good day today. I spent some time in town with Olaf. We visited a few shops, Olaf continues freaking people out. You would think they would be used to a talking snowman by now. I guess that takes getting used too. Oh, I forgot to mention, I spent the afternoon with Elsa. We played some childhood games. It was so cheesy, but I don't care. There's nothing wrong with two adult woman playing with dolls, especially one who is a queen._

_Anyway, we had this wonderful stew for dinner. The chef's special recipe. Delicious. And Elsa didn't even scold me for slurping out of the bowl. She just rolled her eyes. Secretly, I think she enjoys my bad table manners._

_Yep, nothing but good days since the thaw. It's been so wonderful having Elsa back in my life, but it's just..._

_I don't even know what to write. It's these feelings. She just makes me feel good, like so special. I'm in love with her, like in love with her._

_I can't help it, I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I've always treated her like a literal goddess my entire life, but I've never really felt this way until she came back into my life. I thought at first I was just ecstatic for having her back. And the ice powers thing. It was a lot to take in._

_But I knew it was more than that. The first time I saw her in the ice palace, I knew I should have suspected something was up. A sister shouldn't look at her sister like that. There was too much on my mind at the time though. But it should have been a warning._

_And then later as we reconnected, everything went downhill. She brought butterflies to my stomach every day and I could never find an explanation for it. No matter what she wore, no matter how she did her hair, no matter how she did her makeup, she was just so beautiful. I found myself drawn to her, to every little detail of her. From her scent to every insignificant habit she had._

_I think I would die if she ever read this journal. I sound like such a pervert. I better burn this book when I'm done._

_But have I always treated her like this? What a stupid question, I already answered it. Just like I've already written this stuff down before. Yeah, I better burn this book eventually._

_But yeah, I've always had. But what's different? Why didn't I feel this way about her before? Could it be because I didn't really know her? Then have I've always loved her as more than a sister?_

_I must be one messed up individual. If Elsa thinks she has it bad, if only she knew my secret. She can never know._

_But I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. She drives me insane. The urge to grab her cute round face while she's flustered and capture her tender lips with mine is so tempting._

_Oh dear, I'm making myself quite heated._

_But what if I slip up? I can't risk pushing her away because of my immature feelings._

_I can't keep doing this. Not to her. Not to Kristoff. Get this, I'm still going out with Kristoff!_

_I know right?_

_I was so wrong about love. I really don't know what love is. I like Kristoff a lot, but it's just not the same as with Elsa. I thought I did, but I was wrong again._

_Why am I in love with my own sister? How many more pages of this journal am I going to fill talking about the same thing? How many more entries are going to end with me asking the same questions?_

_Why does life have to sound so complica-_

There was a conveniently placed knock on Anna's door, prompting her to quickly close the journal and slide it back into its drawer for safe keeping. She was done writing anyway.

The knock was only a courtesy for Anna. There was an unspoken agreement that there would be no answering of doors between the two sisters and at this time of night only Elsa would be at her door.

When her bedroom door did open, Anna had already closed and locked the drawer. Her secret was safe for now.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Elsa asked with her head poking through the door.

"Of course not," Anna lied behind a smile. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing, I just wanted to ask..." Elsa tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

Anna raised an eyebrow. On the inside, her stomach fluttered seeing Elsa in her nightgown. Like it always did.

"If I could sleep with you tonight?" Elsa finished.

Anna simply snorted. "Like you really need to ask." The older sister shrugged. "Make yourself comfortable. I'll go change."

The thought of changing in the same room as Elsa was exhilarating, but not something uncommon. Anna frequently fantasized about her changing screen falling over on nights like this, but she wasn't sure if she would be mortified or thrilled. There was no doubt how she would feel if Elsa's changing screen fell over if the situation was reversed...

"So, Anna," Elsa began as Anna stripped off her clothing. "How are things with you and Kristoff?"

Anna froze in the process of pulling off her dress.

_Why is she asking? Maybe she's just making small talk? You know how adorably awful she is at small talk._

"F-fine," Anna answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, he doesn't seem to come around much anymore. I was worried things weren't going well between you two."

_Darn._

"Oh, well it's fine, Elsa."

_It really isn't and if Elsa is noticing...I can't keep doing this to Krisoff._

But Anna put on a smile when she came out from behind the changing screen. Elsa was waiting on the bed for her.

"I'm so happy we have each other," Elsa said as Anna climbed under the covers.

"Yeah, me too," Anna responded.

In the beginning, sleeping with Elsa was a dream come true. Now it only made her senses go wild. The old mantra that Elsa used to live by echoed within Anna's head.

_Conceal, don't feel._


	2. Chapter 2

It was one of Elsa's favorite times of the day. Second favorite to be specific. The first belonged to her time spent with Anna. No, now it was time for Elsa to get the chance to practice with her powers.

There was much to learn after all those years repressing them. And now in the same room where she spent her miserable childhood, Elsa allowed them to go free.

As it turned out, her powers were in need of much work and fine tuning, but Elsa was working on them at every opportunity she got. There was usually free time in between royal duties and spending time with Anna for that. Today her royal duties were done and Anna was with Kristoff. That meant practice.

Within an hour, Elsa's room was a complete mess, but Elsa was used to that now and just as prepared. She really did need to commission a special studio for this specific kind of activity. Various snow drifts dotted the corners of her room. Icicles hung from the ceiling. Various shapes and sculptures of ice littered the room.

The one that was currently holding her concentration crumbled as Elsa's hands worked around it. Elsa sighed, but not at all surprised its integrity had failed. It was an abstract piece that required considerable skill and concentration to keep together as Elsa added more to it. It was an exercise in dealing with using her powers in the smallest amounts and holding her concentration while doing it. Tied in with some architectural knowledge to make it interesting of course.

Elsa chuckled to herself when she looked around the room and realized she was sitting in the middle of a snowbank surrounded by snow and ice on all sides. It felt so natural being amongst the snow.

"You look angelic in the snow," Elsa quoted something Anna had told her onetime. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror made Elsa agree with Anna's past sentiments.

"The snow really brings out my natural beauty, doesn't it?" she pondered. Elsa continued to gaze at her reflection, marveling in the happy girl that she found in it. She was finally happy.

Finally, Elsa had enough of ogling over herself and stood up and brushed the snow off her dress. Time for the next exercise.

Elsa produced a small piece of paper from her chest – a convenient place to store things without pockets – and unfolded it to reveal a layout of a maze. This was a two part exercise that required Elsa to first clear the room from her past practice. Within a few seconds all the past evidence of Elsa's experiments disappeared, leaving an untouched and undamaged room. It was such a relief that she no longer had to worry about waiting for it all to melt.

Elsa willed the miniature ice maze out of the floor, covering it with a roof to keep out her prying eyes. The paper was folded back up and placed off to the side. It was just a drawing, but it was one of Anna's. Elsa was going to store it in her desk when she was done here along with Anna's other drawings and letters she'd collected over the years.

Building it was the easy part. Anyone could build structures just by looking at a layout or imagining it. Well, Elsa could at least. The real challenge was solving it without looking at its layout. Hence why it was Anna who drew the original design of it.

Elsa let her powers go and a sheet ice formed on the floor at the entrance. It made its way like a slithering snake into the maze and Elsa closed her eyes, sending a gust of flurries to head the ice sheet into the maze. Elsa let her senses shut out the world as she concentrated on the flurries that were now her eyes. The sheet of ice followed where they went, retracting when Elsa doubled backed so that she could stay grounded to the right path.

Elsa was sweating when she finally reached the exit. It was barely the size of half her room, but Anna sure had made it complicated. Elsa was not surprised when she opened her eyes and discovered over an hour had passed.

"Not enough time to start something big before dinner," Elsa concluded after a glance at her clock.

_But just enough time for my favorite exercise._

Elsa treated the end of her practice sessions with an activity of creating a new dress. Sometimes it was just replacing worn ones, like her iconic original that people adored. But other times Elsa let her creativity flourish.

Elsa went over to the plain dress that sat on the dress form. It was nothing more than a cheap piece of fabric (no point in ruining her good dresses), but it was the base that Elsa could work with. All her ice dresses required some kind of base to work with. She had wondered if it was possible to make a dress out of pure ice. She tried it once and it shattered on her body the moment she moved. That was the end of that idea.

Elsa hesitated, the image of her new dress clearing out of her mind. A curious line of thinking took over. Elsa looked down at her hands and the magic that sparked at her fingertips ready to be released.

_If I can transform dresses into something else..._

It took Elsa far too many weeks to come up with this idea. Elsa looked for the closest item that wasn't the dress, dress transformations were out of style now. Her eyes settled on her mirror. Elsa walked over to it, she'd had it for almost her entire life. Actually, shortly after the accident when she had gotten her own room in fact.

She hated this mirror. So many days of looking into and only seeing a monster staring back. That's what it showed her at least. Maybe it was it time for an update to reflect Elsa's new life.

With a sweep of her hand, Elsa began the transformation process. She had already come up with a new design as her magic worked into the wood and glass. To Elsa's relief, it wasn't much different than doing her dresses.

"I'm still amazing even myself," Elsa said in awe at the finished product. The new mirror was gorgeous. Intricate designs from her imagination crisscrossed its supports and the glass shown and reflected like that reserved for the really rich and powerful emperors. She reached out and touched it and was amazed. Like her dresses where the ice mimicked fabric, the ice of the mirror mimicked the material that it used to be. It looked like ice, but it gave her the impression of wood that radiated cool. Ice was ice. But this and her dresses was more than ice. Like a hybrid of the original material and ice.

It was pretty out of place in her room though. It looked like it belonged in the ice palace. Well, Elsa still had a room full of trinkets and furniture that she was itching to turn into ice. It wouldn't be out of place for long. A quick glance at the clock though reminded her that she was going to have to hold it off until after dinner.

* * *

Elsa went down for dinner more excited about coming back up than for the food itself. She would have skipped it if she wasn't meeting Anna. Now that she thought about it though, she really wanted to tell Anna about her new discovery first.

Anna was already waiting for her when Elsa arrived. She was running late, though the queen was never technically late in her own castle. But Elsa could immediately tell something was up.

Anna was quiet and barely acknowledged her when Elsa came in. Elsa wanted to say something, but hesitated. It didn't look like Anna was in the mood to talk, so she kept the news of her discovery to herself for now. Elsa winced as the servants brought out Anna's favorite dish, only for her to show no emotion. And no appetite.

"Are you feeling okay?" Elsa finally found the nerve to ask.

"I'm fine," Anna answered way too quickly for Elsa's liking. Elsa eyed Kai who was standing off to the side. He took the hint and the room silently cleared.

"Sweetheart, if something is wrong, it would help if you told me," Elsa suggested. They were both done eating by now.

"Just a bad day," Anna said.

"Anna," Elsa began. "I can tell there's something else going on here. Why don't you tell me?"

Anna hesitated for a moment before she sniffled. "I broke it off with Kristoff today," she confessed. A sob escaped Anna's lips.

"What!?" Elsa was on her feet and coming over to Anna's side immediately. She let Anna break down onto her shoulder as she stroked her hair to comfort her. "What happened? Tell me."

"Not here, Elsa, please," Anna pleaded.

"That's fine, Anna. Do you need privacy?"

The sniffling girl merely nodded. "Okay, I'll take you to your room. Mine's a little bit of mess right now and I'll stay with you all night, okay?"

"Thanks, Elsa."

"Come on," Elsa lead Anna back to her room.

Her after dinner plans of experimenting with her powers were left at the barely touched dinner table.

* * *

"I don't understand, Anna. Just last night you told me everything was fine between you two," Elsa inquired as she tucked Anna into her bed sat down on the edge.

"I-I lied, sorry," Anna admitted. At least she had stopped crying.

"Don't be. Did he do something to you?"

"No!" Anna quickly denied. "Kristoff is a good man who treated me with nothing but kindness."

"Then what was it?"

Anna sighed. "It was me. I just didn't...I just didn't love him like I did." There was a pause. "Like I thought I did."

"You were caught up in the events of that week, don't blame yourself."

"I just couldn't find the connection we used to have."

"I see."

"My heart wasn't there anymore," Anna went on. "It was with someone else," she mumbled.

"What was that?" Elsa had missed that last part.

"Nothing, I was just tired of trying to maintain something that wasn't there," Anna answered. "And it wasn't fair to Kristoff."

"You did the right thing, Anna. You did what was best for both of you. How did he take it?"

"He was...he took it well enough. I don't think he saw it coming though. He is genuinely in love with me. That's what made it so hard, because I know he's in love with me. It felt bad to do that to him, Elsa." Anna's arms flew around Elsa with a thump and she let out a new set of tears against Elsa's nightgown.

"You did the right thing though. It would have been worse if you kept lying to him and yourself. You're a good, mature person, Anna. You make me so proud." Anna pulled away briefly and smiled up at her sister.

"Thanks for being here for me."

"That's what big sisters are for. But I am curious, what made you decide to do it today?"

"Your question last night. When you pointed out that you noticed something was wrong, it made me realize I had to end it as soon as possible."

"Ah."

"I actually didn't plan it till this morning. I wanted to make the day special for him," Anna explained and wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes.

"Well, that does explain why you were so preoccupied."

Elsa decided not to pry anymore into it for the night and appeared like Anna was done talking herself. Silence took over as Anna laid back down and smiled back up at Elsa. Elsa gently stroked her hair and met her smile with her own.

"Sleep with me tonight," Anna whispered after a long moment. "I don't want to be alone."

Elsa leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta reader, Mig and rd.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	3. Chapter 3

Elsa had spent her whole life preparing to be queen. But nothing could really prepare her for this.

Being queen was hard. It was excruciating. Advisors and secretaries lessened the load considerably, but they also added their own set of problems. Politics.

Governance and politics was not something Elsa would ever wish on anyone. It put Elsa on a constant edge and she was always worrying. Even if she didn't have to worry about the daily management of the kingdom's little details, she still had to make sure the people actually doing it were doing their job and not screwing her over. Even then, Elsa didn't have to worry about the management of the bureaucracy except on the highest level. The problem was that the highest level was where Elsa had to work the most.

Politics was something she loathed. The decisions were something Elsa was terrified of. She had been lucky with her coronation, but Elsa knew she was just one wrong decision away from disaster for her kingdom and possibly her family. It was the fear that kept her awake at night. That tugged at her every waking moment. One small mismanaged decision could spell doom.

Today was not any different. In fact, days like today were the norm. Elsa all but practically dragged her feet into her room and collapsed face first onto her bed. She had to eat lunch in her office and worked through dinner. She wasn't hungry anyway.

It was too late to see Anna, who was no doubt asleep by now. Elsa had wanted to see how she was holding up since breaking up with Kristoff yesterday, but she'd been too busy. Hopefully Anna hadn't needed her.

Elsa finally pushed herself off the bed and dragged herself to her new ice mirror. Her face already showed signs of aging. She wasn't even twenty-two yet.

_The stress is going to kill me._

Elsa hated it. She hated feeling like this, helplessly flailing through her days until the end. If nothing else got her first, the stress would get her young no doubt.

Elsa dropped to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest. Tears were brimming at her eyes, but she refused to let them pour over the edge. She was a good and strong leader. _Everyone_ told her that. But on days like this, Elsa wasn't so sure about that.

_Am I really?_

The people around her truly considered her as such even when they were being absolutely truthful. Elsa knew it was true too...from their prospective at least.

But what Elsa knew that they didn't know, she knew that she was very skilled at putting on a front. She may have _appeared_ as a strong leader, but that didn't mean she really was one.

_Maybe that's what a strong leader really is, someone who can make it look like they are one._

A sob escaped her mouth and Elsa buried her face into her arms.

"Mama, Papa," she cried out softly. All Elsa wanted was for them to come back and free her from this hell. If not, then to at least hold her hand through it. At least she had Anna though.

"Yeah, Anna..." Elsa murmured and looked up at her reflection. She smiled, "yeah, I have Anna."

The girl in her reflection looked small and weak as she sat curled up on the floor.

Her face skewed while looking at the mirror, it was supposed to be different.

"I wish I was stronger than I really was," she lamented. Elsa frequently wished she was something she wasn't. A normal princess, usually, without dangerous powers. Sometimes not even a princess as long as she had Anna. Other times it was for her to be a strong and confident leader that never had to worry about anything. She just wanted it to be easier.

She would make a deal with the devil if it meant any of those. The problem was, sometimes Elsa felt like she was actually the product of someone else's deal with the devil.

_Well, if I have these cursed powers, I might as well make use of them._

Without getting up, Elsa used a gust of wind to summon a vase stuffed with an assortment of dying flowers. She took a look at the mirror, then let her powers flow out into the vase. The end result was a vase of pure ice and beautiful icy flowers. Elsa smiled to herself. Elsa placed the vase back where it belonged and looked for another object to take out her stress on.

Three more small trinkets were transformed into ice before Elsa realized there wasn't much else for her to use. The thought came to her that she didn't want to ruin all of her stuff since the process was irreversible. Her eyes settled on her reflection in the mirror and narrowed.

_No._

Her eyes drifted elsewhere, but quickly shot back to the reflection.

"No," she said out loud.

She shook her head. "This is stupid, I really need some sleep." Elsa collapsed onto the bed, not even bothering to switch to her nightgown.

Elsa had been tired when she came into her room. Now though, she couldn't even close her eyes.

"I can transform things into ice. Into something better," she mused to herself. "But with inanimate objects, not people."

"But I can create life," said another part of her brain. "That's not the same. But it wouldn't hurt to try."

Elsa paused for a moment as she stared up at the ceiling. "And if I do and turn myself into an icicle? What then?"

There was no answer of course, but something in the back of her mind seemed to suggest that that wasn't what would happen if she tried to transform herself. She couldn't explain it.

"I could transform myself back, but that isn't how it works."

_Maybe it's different when it's used with people?_

Elsa's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion at the question. She wasn't sure where that thought had even come from. There was no evidence to suggest otherwise, why she would even ponder that was beyond her.

Still, she continued to lie wide awake until finally she jumped out of bed and went straight to her desk. She pulled out a blank piece of paper and started writing.

_Dear Anna,_

_In the event that you come looking for me and find me in a frozen state, I wish to apologize for my stupidity..._

Elsa finished up the letter and left it sitting on her desk. She had previously made preparations for Anna in the case of her passing, but this scenario required a little extra explanation.

Elsa stood back in front of her mirror and prepared herself.

"This is ridiculous," she sighed to herself upon seeing her reflection as she pumped herself up. "Why am I even trying this?"

Yet Elsa didn't stop.

She decided to start at her feet, in case things went wrong, but paused.

_What am I even going to make myself into?_

She decided to just roll with it.

Elsa started and immediately stopped before the magic even reached her ankles. She hopped from one foot to the other, her feet still tingling from the effects. This was going to be difficult.

Elsa tried again, this time making it to her knees. The tingling sensation was too much to bear.

The third attempt made it to her thighs. The fourth attempt reached her crotch, causing Elsa to double over and turn beat red when it touched her sensitive areas. But the fact that it was actually working only urged her on.

Elsa backed away from the mirror to catch her breath.

"Come on Elsa, you made it this far, you can keep on going," she told herself even though she no longer realized why she wanted to.

When she got her breathing under control, Elsa went back and tried a fifth time. The magic made it past her sensitive waist. Elsa's eyes begin to water as she strained to maintain the transformation despite the sensory overloads across her body. When it reached her chest, Elsa knew she was on the home stretch. It was only when the magic began to tickle her chin that Elsa began to panic. Her eyes widened as it swirled past her jaw. It was already too late to stop.

Elsa watched in the mirror as icy magic swirled over her body until it completely covered her eyes. She slammed them shut when the tingling suddenly stopped. It was replaced by the feeling of nothingness. She could feel nothing.

Elsa tried to open her eyes, but was met only with darkness. Then she lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and rd.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	4. Chapter 4

When Elsa finally opened her eyes, she had trouble remembering what had happened. Her first instinct was to gather her surroundings.

_"Okay, I'm in my room."_

Elsa suddenly remembered what had happened. Her second instinct was to prop herself up and look in the mirror. Her body did so easily, but it felt rather sluggish.

She never had time to dwell on it. The reflection in the mirror had confirmed it – the transformation had worked. Elsa was up to her feet in a flash and closed the gap to the mirror.

She looked strikingly similar to herself, but there were glaring differences. Her hair was perhaps the biggest. It was sticking up and a reach around to her back confirmed her other observation. It was cut short, way short.

Her bangs were swept down covering her forehead which she found quiet cute as she tugged on them. What she was less enthusiastic about was the way her short hair was styled in the back. It was styled up into a point that faced rearward.

The second difference she immediately noticed was her face. The light dusting of freckles that splayed across her nose were denser and more pronounced. Not quite on Anna's level, but much more than Elsa usually had. Elsa held out a hand to gently brush her freckled cheek as her eyes roamed her reflection for other alterations.

There didn't seem to be any more...Elsa's eyes stopped at her chest. She didn't believe it at first until her hands moved down to cup her breasts. Her bosom was bigger.

_"Okay, so bigger boobs, more freckles, and a new hair style. But I don't feel any different."_

Elsa caught herself smiling in the mirror. No, not smiling, smirking. Elsa wondered why she was smirking and frowned.

_"At least I'm not dead, but just changing my appearance isn't what I was hoping for..."_

Elsa's thought process suddenly came to a screeching halt. She was supposed to be frowning right now, but the reflection in the mirror was still smirking.

Elsa motioned to bring her hands up to touch her face. Maybe she had changed her face too.

But her hands didn't move. Her body wasn't responding to her.

"Will you calm down?" Elsa said to herself. But she never said that. The Elsa in the mirror said that, but Elsa didn't.

 _"This mirror is cursed."_ This time she did say something, but it never left her mouth. In fact, none of the times she had just talked to herself ever made it to her mouth.

"No, the mirror is perfectly fine," Elsa said instead.

_"Who said that?"_

"Me," her body answered.

_"Who are you?"_

"I'm you."

_"J-just shut up."_

Elsa watched herself roll her eyes in the mirror.

_"What's going on?"_

Elsa sighed. "I am you."

 _"Stop saying that_ ," Elsa screamed internally.

"You really don't know who I am, do you?"

If Elsa had control of her body, she would have shook her head. It felt like she was dreaming.

_"That's it, this is just a dream."_

"Oh, I'm no dream," her body answered her. "Let me clear things up for you. I am you. I am a different side of you, one that's been kept repressed all your life."

_"Repressed?"_

"Yes, and thank you for finally letting me be free."

_"I did no such thing!"_

"Oh? Did you not transform yourself? This is what you transformed into," Elsa's other side swept her arms over her body for Elsa to see in the reflection in the mirror. "I am just like this mirror and all the objects that you've transformed into ice."

_"But you-I didn't turn into ice."_

"Well, obviously it works differently with flesh."

_"I see...but wait, what do you mean you're a different side of me? There is no different side of me."_

"Sure there is. Didn't you ever have a desire to be free from the hiding and fear?"

_"Sure, but that's my desire."_

"I am the embodiment of your yearning to be free, Elsa. To live within your own rules. Your desire to be powerful, respected, and feared."

_"Whoa, hold up, I don't desire that."_

"Because, you've been repressing it."

_"That's not true."_

"It is, dear. You've always yearned to reach you're full potential."

_"I have reached my full potential."_

Elsa's thoughts were interrupted when her body reared back and laughed out loud. "Elsa, please. You know nothing of yourself. But I really can't blame you, being forced to repress your magic and locked up in that room all those years. But I've always been with you."

_"I don't believe you."_

"Oh, then how about that time up on the North Mountain. You remember, when you were attacked by those men? Who do you think kept you alive?"

Elsa refused to believe it. _No, that was me._

"Was it?"

 _Yes, yes it was._ Elsa was sure of it. She tried thinking back to the incident. After a moment of thinking, Elsa realized something else. Her inner thoughts remained secured. This other self of hers didn't actually have access to her mind. " _I'm sure of it,"_ she finally "said".

"You are still too naive that you don't truly appreciate what you are capable of. Don't worry though, I'll be here. I have been and always will be."

_"I don't like you."_

"Why not? I'm the reason you're alive. I'll always be there to protect you and Anna."

_"Don't bring Anna into this."_

Elsa smirked at her reflection. "Why? You can barely protect yourself, let alone Anna too. You need me," she declared.

_"No, I don't. I don't even know you."_

"Oh, but you do. More than you'd like to admit."

_"Shut up."_

"Why cast me out, Elsa? I am strong while you are weak and fragile."

_"That's not true."_

"It is. But don't worry, Elsa, I'll always be there for you. I can guide you through the tough times, just like I have in the past. You may not accept your true self, who I represent, but in time you will. In the meantime, I will be there to help you along."

_"No, I don't need your help. Please leave me alone."_

The Elsa in control of her body chuckled. "Oh, Elsa. I know how difficult your life is right now. You need my help. And you will receive it."

_"Leave me alone, get out of my head."_

"I can't do that, Elsa"

_"I said leave!"_

Elsa put all her will power into casting this other person from her mind. And just like that, Elsa spotted the telltale signs of the magic beginning to transform her body within the reflection of the mirror. Her body stood still and let the magic work, but her eyes continued to stare into her reflection. It felt to Elsa like she was staring into her own soul. It looked as if she was looking directly into her head at Elsa through the reflection and it made Elsa fret.

Finally, the swirling of her icy magic blocked out their vision, leaving Elsa in the dark once again.

In a split second later, all her senses came flooding back at once. Elsa started sobbing instantly and her knees gave out, dropping her to the ground. Granted she felt liking crying halfway during her conversation with 'herself', but it had been kept pent up until she actually had control of her eyes back. Blinking rapidly to adjust to the light, Elsa opened them and glanced up at the mirror. Sure enough, she was back to her old self, long hair and all. Unfortunately, her psyche had yet to recover.

Timidly, Elsa called out to her other self in her mind, wondering if she was trapped in there like she had been moments earlier. There was no response.

Elsa's relief was short lived as thousands of questions and memories scrolled through her mind instead. Each one bringing its own uncertainties and doubts as Elsa chewed over her other side's words. Her mind wanted to go over each on and try to remember exactly what had happened. If what she had been told was true, then Elsa was living a lie.

Not bothering to get up to go to bed, Elsa just laid on the floor where she was. She screwed her eyes shut and tried to empty her mind. Eventually the questions and memories faded away and Elsa began to fall asleep.

"Who am I?" was the last thing she said before finally drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and rd.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	5. Chapter 5

Anna's decision had been made even as she argued with herself whether or not to do it. Even as she walked towards her sister's room, towards her fate, Anna tried to talk herself out of it.

The decision to come clean to Elsa about the truth had not been an easy one. The day before had been spent entirely making the decision that ran into the current day. Since Elsa had no time to spend with her because of work, Anna was free to mull over the situation. With Kristoff out of the picture, Anna knew it would be inevitable before she slipped up and that meant coming clean now, rather than later.

Still though, Anna felt like she was moving too fast. She'd only broken it off with him two days ago. She knew though, that the longer she'd wait, the crazier it would make her. And keeping it a secret from Elsa was out of the question. There were supposed to be no more secrets between them and Anna was driven to live up to her side of the bargain.

For the umpteenth time that night, Anna hesitated in the hallway. Was the truth worth ruining their relationship?

_No, Elsa will understand. Nothing can get between us._

Anna resumed walking. The nagging feeling didn't go away though. Her heart said that keeping it a secret would do more harm than good and that Elsa wouldn't let it ruin their relationship. Unfortunately, her mind said differently as even now scenarios played out in her head. Mostly they showed the negative scenarios.

Elsa ostracizing her for her feelings, banishing her to protect the family's name. Sometimes Elsa would send her for treatment as if Anna was suffering from some kind of disease. Sometimes Elsa's reaction would be more passive, going back to her old ways of locking herself in her room for example. Worst were the scenarios where Elsa blamed herself for Anna's affliction. Whether it be running away or worse, it was those scenarios which Anna feared the most.

And that was precisely what made Anna's decision so difficult. She tried to tell herself it was for Elsa, but the reality was, the decision was made entirely for selfish reasons. Anna had to know how Elsa felt. The 'what-if's' were driving her insane and keeping her up at night. The terrible truth was that Anna really didn't know as much about her sister as she should have. She had no idea how Elsa would react.

That, of course, led Anna to the not-so-selfish idea that it would be better to tell Elsa the truth in a safe and calm environment now, then to hurl it on her at a bad and unexpected time that was most likely inevitable. That was ultimately the deciding factor. Anna had learned something from Elsa's coronation after all.

But at the last barrier between the Elsa and the truth, Anna froze. Elsa's bedroom door was the threshold.

_Come on Anna, what's the worst that can happen?_

Anna had left her hopes of Elsa reciprocating these feelings back at her own bedroom. She harbored no expectations of reciprocation, it was the fears of the confession ruining everything that held her back. So she thought. In fact, one of the many things Anna worried about was Elsa's pretending to love her back so not to hurt her feelings. Anna would prefer if Elsa disowned her than that.

_She's not going to disown you. Nothing will change between you. You know her, she will never hurt you no matter what._

Anna's fist hovered over the door.

_Do I really though?_

Anna tapped lightly on the door and for the first time in her entire life, Anna actually hoped Elsa's wouldn't answer.

But she did.

* * *

"Oh, Anna I'm glad you came. I can show you that new trick I told you about. You have to see my new mirror, you'd love it," Elsa greeted as Anna stepped through the door. Elsa had been ecstatic that Anna had shown up.

"Ugh, yeah, actually I'm here for something else," Anna quickly pointed out. Nonetheless, Anna's eyes darted over to the mirror Elsa had boasted about earlier. Its new design and the fact that it was made out of ice barely registered in Anna's mind. Her focus was on the inevitable confession.

"Oh, what do you need?" Elsa stopped to stare at Anna blankly.

"I need to talk to you about something...important," Anna answered.

"Is this about you and Kristoff?"

Anna quickly shook her head. "No, no. It's about me and you actually."

"Us?"

"Please, just let me get it all out, okay?"

Elsa nodded calmly and Anna could already tell she was on edge. It wasn't everyday Anna came forward with such seriousness.

"Maybe we should take a seat first."

Again, Elsa silently nodded as she followed Anna over to the bed. Anna took a deep breath and tried to find her words. She was having trouble figuring out when to begin, hours of practice and trial runs evaporated from her memory the moment she tried to recall them.

"Anna?" Elsa asked when Anna failed to continue. Her sister's obvious concern was making it more difficult for Anna to concentrate.

_Just say something. Why can't you say something?_

Anna palms felt sweaty and it became the most bothersome thing in the world at the moment as she tried to wipe them off on her nightgown. Panic was overtaking her.

Everything stopped when a pale hand grabbed one of her wrists and stopped her attempt to dry her palms. Anna looked up and met Elsa's sparkling blue eyes.

_So beautiful._

And yet, so full of concern. "Maybe we should do this another time?" Elsa suggested.

"No! No." Just like that, Anna found her words. "This is just really big for me. But I have to do this."

"I'm here for you," Elsa assured her.

_I know._

"Listen, Elsa. Ever since we...got back together," Anna paused as she instantly wished she could take back her poor word choice. "Ever since we were _reunited_ , something has changed within me."

True to Anna's request, Elsa stayed quiet as she continued. "I don't really know where it began. Maybe I was always like this, but I didn't start noticing it until I started being around you." Again, Anna cursed herself at her poor word choice. The scenario where Elsa blamed herself quickly replayed in Anna's mind. "I spent a lot of time wondering what this was and eventually I figured it out. I...I love you, Elsa."

Anna was too afraid to watch Elsa's reaction, so she slammed her eyes shut as she said it. Elsa's reaction was not what Anna expected. An unqueenly snort that Anna caught Elsa trying to suppress with her hand when she opened her eyes was her reaction.

"That's what you were trying to say? Oh, Anna, you're so dramatic. Of course I love you too."

_..._

"No, that's not what I meant," Anna blurted out "I'm **in** love with you, Elsa."

This time, Anna didn't close her eyes. She watched Elsa's smile slowly fade away. If there was ever a good time to ramble, it was probably now. So ramble she did.

"As I said, I can't explain it. Every day it got stronger. At first I thought I was just being affectionate, but I realized it was more. What I felt for you, wasn't even what I felt for Hans or Kristoff. It was so much stronger. That's when I realized I didn't love Kristoff, but I didn't realize I loved you like that yet. But there was nothing else to explain it, Elsa. I tried to figure it out, but I couldn't come up with any other conclusion. Everything pointed to this. And when I figured it out...I didn't even have a problem with it. I mean, I did, but deep down it just felt natural. Like it was just right. It didn't even matter you were a girl or my sister. I felt it was normal, even though I knew it wasn't."

Elsa's reaction hadn't changed since Anna started rambling.

"I love you, Elsa. So much more than sister. My heart flutters when I'm around you. Your smile, your eyes, everything about you makes me feel...I can't even describe it. You're just so perfect, even if you don't think you are, you're perfect to me. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Elsa nodded slowly. Anna hugged her knees to her chest and looked away. She felt like she was going to be sick.

"Remember that day, when we went out on that picnic to the fjord, just the two of us?" Anna glanced at Elsa just long enough to get confirmation before turning back and continuing. "I had such an amazing day. It was so perfect. That night, as we slept in the same bed together, I realized that it had been the most romantic night of my entire life. No one had ever treated me so special before. That was the night I realized what you meant to me. I wanted you to be more than just my best friend and sister. I wanted you to be my everything."

That was that. Everything was laid out on the table and the only thing left was to wait for Elsa's response. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

"Oh, Anna, you are such a sweet girl," she heard Elsa say. Anna felt a hand on her shoulder and the bed droop as Elsa re-positioned herself to face Anna. She was smiling at her. Already, Anna's mood had been brightened.

If Anna had been in the right mind or not distracted, she would have noticed it was the same sweet look Elsa had given her when they first interacted at the coronation party. The same one that preceded Elsa telling her that their interaction and open gates was only temporary.

"I'm sorry I put this on you. It was such a burden and I didn't want to spring it on you at an inappropriate time. Plus, I think it's your right to know. No secrets, remember?" Anna explained. So far so good. Elsa reaction wasn't negative and there was still a chance for miracles to come true.

_No, stop. Don't you even think about that, she has no obligation to feel this way too._

"Anna, you are such an amazing person and very brave for admitting this," Elsa remarked. "I'm actually really glad you told me this."

Anna's heart skipped a beat. _She's glad? Why would she be glad? Unless..._  
  
Her hopes and expectations soared beyond measure.

_Is she inflicted with the same feelings? Oh God, she feels the same way about me, doesn't she? And I just made it easier for her to express herself._

Dreams really did come true, but as Anna beamed, Elsa's smile slipped into a frown.

Elsa held Anna's hands in her own as she spoke. "Something is wrong with you, Anna."

_Wait, what?_

Anna continued to beam brightly at Elsa, too confused to change her facial expression.

"This is probably my fault, but I'll do everything in my power to fix this."

"Fix this?" Anna repeated as her mind tried to understand the situation.

"Yes. It would have been one thing if you fancied woman, I can understand that, but this isn't right."

"You don't love me?" It had just slipped out. This was exactly why Anna had told herself to avoid that hope. But clearly that hope had been at the forefront of her thoughts the entire time.

"Of course I love you," Elsa assured her. "But not like that. Not romantically. I'm your sister. We're sisters and we are not supposed to love each like that. Familial love, Anna. But don't worry, we will make everything better."

Anna's lower lip trembled. Within a few blinks, her vision became blurry.

"Please don't cry," Elsa began to say before Anna did what she thought was the only thing she could have done. She fled.

She fled out of Elsa's room faster than Elsa could react. She ran though the castle, not caring where she ended up as she cried.

The hardest part about the decision to confess to Elsa hadn't been whether to tell her or not. It was trying to convince herself that the worst case scenario wasn't Elsa not reciprocating her feelings. She had tried to tell herself not to go into this expecting Elsa to love her back like that. She had tried to tell herself that it was alright if Elsa didn't love her back like that. She had tried to tell herself she wouldn't run away when it happened. She had tried so hard and failed.

* * *

Hours later, Anna found herself back at Elsa's door. Her nose was still runny and her eyes still puffy from spending the time hiding and crying to herself. Elsa never came for her and eventually Anna realized that she had messed up dearly. She had thrown that on Elsa and just left. It was selfish and Anna realized that and hoped it hadn't damaged her older sister too badly.

She had thought very carefully over Elsa's words and came to the conclusion that Elsa was probably right. There was something wrong with her. It was Anna's turn to take responsibility for her actions though.

So here she stood at her sister's door at three o'clock in the morning, ready to face reality. No more pretending like she stood a chance courting her sister. No more heads in the clouds.

Light still shown through the door, which meant Elsa was probably awake. Probably working on a solution to Anna's problem at the very moment like the perfect sister she was. That was why Anna came back. Elsa was too perfect to give up in Anna's eyes.

Again, Anna hesitated to knock and grabbed the door handle instead. She turned the knob and slowly opened the door, she didn't want to surprise or disturb Elsa.

Anna's curiosity was spiked when she heard Elsa talking to what sounded like herself. She cracked the door open and peered inside.

"I told you you'd need me, didn't I?" Anna heard Elsa ask.

_Who is she talking to?_

The first spot Anna had looked was her desk and bed, but both were empty. Elsa's voice carried Anna's gaze across the room where she found Elsa standing before her mirror, talking into it.

Something seemed off about her though.

_Holy moly, she cut her hair?_

For a brief second, Elsa's eyes met Anna's in the mirror that sent a chill down her spine. Something was very off about Elsa.

Seconds later, Elsa was engulfed in a swirl of flurries as Anna watched wide-eyed. When they subsided, Elsa turned around to face Anna. Her hair had grown back.

"Thank goodness, you're back Anna. We need to talk about this," she said to Anna.

"I think we should talk about this actually," Anna argued. Everything that had happened early had been forgotten.

"That's not important right now."

"No, I think it is. What the hell was that, Elsa?" Anna demanded, nodding her head towards the mirror where Elsa had been engulfed in that swirl of flurries which she was just now noticing was made out of ice. "Is that some kind of enchanted mirror?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course it isn't," Elsa answered and sighed. "Remember I told you about my new ability, to transform things?"

Anna pointed to the mirror. Anna briefly remembered that Elsa told her about this new ability to change things during a meal the day before. Anna was so absent-minded though, that she barely remembered the conversation. But she did remember Elsa being excited. Problem was, Elsa wasn't very excited now. Something must have happened to curb Elsa's enthusiasm between now and then, which Anna figured was her own confession.

"Yes, that was the first thing, but last night I discovered something else. I can transform myself too."

Apparently Elsa had her other secrets of her own. Maybe tonight should have been considered one of those 'inappropriate times' to come clean to Elsa about her feelings. "That's amazing," Anna admitted. "I thought you looked different and not just the hair."

"I also have more freckles," Elsa said shyly, blushing slightly. "And a bigger bosom."

Anna hadn't gotten that clear of a look at her, but just imaging Elsa with those features reminded Anna why she was here and it tore at her heart.

_I'm sick._

"Listen, Anna..."

Her curiosity was still strong though. "Who were you talking to then?" Anna interrupted.

Elsa didn't answer at first, her eyes drifting anywhere but at Anna. "There is another person that controls that other body."

Now, Anna had forgotten about why she was here completely as her eyes narrowed. "Are you serious? What do you mean by another person?"

"Like another personality, I don't know, I can't explain it," she exasperated. "She controls the body, but I'm still there in her mind."

"Who is this she?"

"I told you, I don't know. I think it's a different side of me though."

"Can I meet her?"

"No," Elsa quickly responded.

"What, but why not?"

"Just, not right now, okay?" Elsa gave her pained expression and under the circumstances, Anna thought it was best to drop it. The news was startling and hard to believe, but Anna had to trust Elsa for now.

"Can it work on me?" Anna asked. The idea was tempting.

"No, absolutely not. I don't want you in contact with my powers at the moment," Elsa answered.

Anna didn't need to ask why as the pieces clicked and Anna was reminded why they were here. Elsa blamed herself for Anna's problem. That was it. "Listen, Elsa. This isn't your fault. Let me explain myself."

"No," Elsa interrupted. "Let me just say this."

Anna nodded.

"I don't blame myself nor my powers. But I want to play it safe just in case." Elsa moved and embraced Anna, reassuring Anna that her sister wasn't disgusted by her at least. "That being said, I'm deeply concerned about you, Anna. These feelings you claim you have aren't right. They aren't normal." Anna felt tears forming again and she was glad Elsa couldn't see. "I still love you though and I don't think any differently of you. I want to help you get over this. We will get through this."

Anna sniffled. "I'm sick, aren't I?"

"No," Elsa retorted. She pulled away and wiped the tears that were starting to roll down Anna's cheeks with her thumb. Elsa was only trying to help, Anna knew, but the gesture only made her feel worse. The emotions that were produced from a gentle swipe of her thumb used to make Anna feel good. In the last few hours, Anna had convinced herself to feel disgusted with herself over it.

"Anna, you aren't sick," Elsa continued. "You've been played for so long, maybe your emotions are just messed up. Maybe it's a side effect from your returned memories or maybe the curse..."

"Stop trying to blame yourself, please," Anna pleaded.

"I'm just keeping my options open. It probably is though. You're too perfect for this to be your fault."

Anna wanted to scream. _Stop playing with my heart, please_.

"We will fix this, together. I promise."

"I believe you, Elsa."

"Come on, let's get some sleep. We'll work out the details later."

"Okay, that's fine. Goodnight, Elsa," Anna quickly said, suddenly very tired herself, as she turned to leave.

Elsa grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "Where are you going?"

"To bed," Anna answered flatly.

"But-"

"I don't think it's appropriate for us to sleep together anymore, now that you know how I really feel," Anna explained flatly. _I want to spare you the awkwardness._

"Oh."

"Goodnight, Elsa."

Elsa quickly covered the distant between them and embraced Anna again. "Goodnight, Anna."

Elsa released her, but Anna hadn't missed what happened. Usually their goodnight's were accompanied by a chaste kiss on Anna's forehead. Not only was that left out, but Anna had noticed Elsa hesitate before pulling her into the hug.

_She is disgusted with me. I am sick._

"Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself?"

Anna nodded and Elsa accepted her answer. Elsa probably thought she was perverted and was only forcing herself to sleep in the same bed as her. That had to be it, otherwise Elsa would have been more insistent on the offer. Maybe not though, Anna's mind was too clouded with emotions and fatigue to think about it clearly. She just wanted to get out of there, she had only come back to make sure Elsa was okay.

"I love you, Anna," Elsa said as Anna sulked out of her room.

Anna couldn't bring herself to say it back. She didn't think she'd ever be able to without giving Elsa the wrong impression.

Anna left knowing Elsa's concerned look followed her out. Anna made it through the doorway of her room before the first sob escaped. She went no further, collapsing onto the door at her back and breaking into a fit of self-pity.

"I'm such fool."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my two beta readers, Mig and Rd.
> 
> Before anyone gets upset, this IS an elsanna story. I have not lied to you. As I've said before, the angst/drama tag isn't just for fun. If angst isn't your thing, I'm sorry, but this is going to be a very heavy fic. Maybe I can do some fluffy oneshots to make up for it.
> 
> Also, I went back and edited the last chapter. I'm still experimenting with the dialog between Elsa and onionElsa so it's not confusing for the reader. My goal is stop readers from having to pause and remember who is who. When Elsa is transformed, she can still "think" within her own head, even though she is in her own head already. To show this, I kept the normal italics for thoughts and am going to use quoted italics to indicate when Elsa (or the other Elsa) is talking to the other. They're both internal dialog, but one is only Elsa's mind and the other is shared. That is what I changed for last chapter. As of now, Elsa and onionElsa have two completely separate consciouses, meaning they share the same body, but not the same mind, that's the best way to explain. Almost like two souls in the same body.
> 
> Another thing, onionElsa's character isn't named onionElsa obviously, but this is kind of where things get confusing since they're both Elsa. As you'll see in the next chapter, Elsa refers to her as "her other self" or "the other Elsa". I'll probably have Anna make up her own term for onionElsa as well. Another tip if you're still confused is that this story is entirely in Elsa and Anna's pov. I don't intend to show onionElsa's pov ever. So keep in mind who is controlling the body. If the pov is of the Elsa in control of the body, then it's normal Elsa in control of the body. If the pov is of the Elsa not in control of the body, then onionElsa controls the body. So one more time:
> 
> Italics = thoughts
> 
> Quoted italics = dialog from one of the Elsa that is NOT in control of the body
> 
> onionElsa = "the other Elsa", "my other self"
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	6. Chapter 6

The rash decision to transform herself following Anna's confession had been a last resort. When Anna had confessed, Elsa thought it had been a sick joke. But she knew it wasn't, of course, though she continued to desperately wish it was throughout the rest of the night.

When Anna had run out of the room in tears, Elsa couldn't dare herself to follow for she had immediately came to one conclusion-this had been her fault. The isolation that Elsa and her parents had forced onto the younger girl was the only explanation for Anna's immoral feelings. She had always been worried what kind of long-lasting effects it would have had on Anna. There was clearly an element of self-debasement issue present, something Elsa picked up on when Anna first told her about everything that went on between her and Hans. She had been desperate for Hans's affection, for anyone's affection really since Elsa had denied it from her for thirteen years. In the first few days being with her, Elsa had noticed how lowly Anna had viewed herself through all those years. Elsa had slowly come to terms with all that and knew only time would fix those issues.

Alas, this was worse than any of that and beyond any of Elsa's expectations. It was worse than she could have possibly imagined. On that night, Elsa realized how horribly she had ruined poor Anna's life.

Elsa wanted to fix it, but she had nothing to offer. The problem was that there was nothing Elsa could do to fix this without ruining Anna's life further. Her life would be over the moment this got out and every third party that Elsa brought in only increased those chances. She also didn't want to treat Anna like some kind of leper, but then again she already did, kinda. Anything drastic she did would make things worse, but drastic measures seemed to be the only option.

Out of desperation, Elsa decided to look for answers from deep within herself. She decided to call up the other Elsa. She didn't know what the other Elsa had to offer, but she knew she had confidence, something Elsa herself was lacking in this dire time of need.

This time the process had gone much smoother. Elsa never even fainted. Her other self was initially surprised that Elsa had gone back to her so soon though. Elsa explained the situation, but she had a feeling that the other Elsa already knew what was going on. Unfortunately, Elsa never really got an answer. Anna had returned before they could really get into it and Elsa quickly changed herself back.

It was the morning after now though and Elsa had some time to think about it. In reality, there was really nothing the other Elsa could do that she couldn't do herself. So she thought at least.

At the moment though, there were more immediate concerns. A meeting with her councilors was coming up that day, one of vital importance. The events of the night before had wholly unprepared herself for today's meeting and left her nervous beyond recognition. She paced around her office trying to mentally prepare herself, but there was no way she'd be ready in time. She knew both her councilors and the nobles that would be attending would be extra aggressive today and in Elsa's current emotional state, she would hardly be able to resist. They were going to walk all over her!

Elsa couldn't go to the meeting today, not with Anna's confession gnawing at the back of her mind. But she couldn't cancel it either, not this late.

_Maybe just this one time?_

If the other Elsa couldn't help her with Anna's issue, maybe she could help her get through the day at least.

Timidly, Elsa stood by the room's large bay window since there was no mirror in her office. Without waiting for a second more to doubt herself, Elsa switched herself over for the third time.

"Welcome back," the other Elsa said once the transformation was complete. Ever since their first meeting, Elsa referred to her alter ego – if it could even be called that – as her other self or the other Elsa. It was odd referring to herself in third person, but that was hardly high on the list of abnormalities over the past few days.

Elsa didn't like how this other Elsa greeted her. _Just this once._

_"I need your help."_

"Still? I know we were interrupted last time, but I can still offer some advice." Elsa could see her other self grin in the window's weak reflection.

_"I don't need your help with that anymore. I can figure it out myself, but I need help with something else."_

The other Elsa raised her eyebrow.

_"Now listen carefully and do exactly as I say. Do not deviate from my plan and don't improvise. I'll be here to walk you through it and to tell you what to say. Obviously,"_ Elsa pointed out.

"Obviously," other Elsa repeated.

Elsa continued on to explain what she needed from her other self about the meeting without interruption. When Elsa was finished, she waited for the one in control of her body to answer.

"I'll do it, but on one condition," the other Elsa finally answered. Elsa was taken aback. In both her prior meetings, this other Elsa had offered to help her and now she was demanding something in return?

_"What?"_ Elsa would have spat had she had a mouth to do it.

"Please don't get spiteful with me. I know I vowed to help you, but this is just doing your dirty work."

_"I told you I can't afford to mess this meeting up and it's vital to the governance of this nation. I can't stress that enough."_

"Then don't," the other Elsa said plainly.

_"But I don't know if I can."_

Elsa's body, under the control of the other Elsa, shook her head and moved away from the window. Elsa's only portal to the outside world was through their eyes and ears. They shared the sight, but Elsa had no control or influence over her body besides being able to transform it back at will. Elsa hated not being able to see who she was speaking too though and if the other Elsa didn't want to stand in front of a mirror for Elsa's sake, then there was nothing Elsa could do about it.

"Then maybe you should accept my conditions."

_"What are they?"_ Elsa demanded.

"Only one thing, Elsa. I want out, at least once a night. That's all I ask."

_"You mean like this?"_

"Yes, exactly like this. Just an hour every day. It feels so great having a body. I just want to savor every moment of it," the other Elsa requested with eagerness.

_"Half an hour,"_ Elsa argued. The world she could see narrowed, meaning the other Elsa was narrowing her eyes at Elsa's quick rebuttal. Elsa literally didn't have time for that every night or day.

"No, a full hour."

_"I don't always have a full hour."_

"Then let's make it on a day by day basis. Besides I can help shorten those days no doubt and I'll count those times."

_No, it's just a onetime thing._

But Elsa didn't bring the obvious offer for further assistance to the forefront. _"Okay, up to one hour every day if circumstances permit in exchange for your services. Do we have a deal?"_  
  
"Of course," the other Elsa avowed.

_"Do whatever I say, understood?"_

"Of course, but believe me, I already know what you need and want."

_Sure you do._

_"The meeting is in thirty minutes. Let's go over everything one more time. There are papers at my desk you should look over..."_ Elsa trailed off as her other self had already started moving toward her desk.

"Perhaps people will wonder about your sudden change in appearance," the other Elsa pondered.

_Darn, how could I forget about that?_

"Don't worry dear, I'll think of something to tell them for the hair. The other things though..."

_"Our-your chest won't be an issue. They'll just think it's a different corset, besides, no one would dare bring that up ever. As for your face...I keep some spare make-up in one of the cabinets. You can use them to cover up the extra freckles, they probably won't even notice anyway,"_ Elsa surmised after taking a moment to mull over it.

"Good thinking, Elsa. You see what we can accomplish together?"

Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all.

* * *

 

"Something seemed off about the Queen," the aging minister observed as the men filed out of the meeting room. "And I don't mean her sudden and quite scandalous hairstyle either," he quickly added before any of the younger members could speak up with one of their smart-assed quips.

"No, you're right, Gustav," his compatriot said. "She seemed not herself certainly."

"She was very confident," Gustav's personal assistant observed.

"No my dear boy, Queen Elsa is a very confident young women and a good leader at that. But this show she put on today was different."

"Aggressive?" the other minister suggested.

"Yes, that's it. She was overly aggressive today," Gustav agreed.

"Maybe she thought the circumstances called for it?"

"Doubtful, this isn't something she couldn't handle. She's handled far worse without changing her style so drastically. It's like she had a total personality shift. That can be dangerous, you know?"

"She is a mysterious woman though."

"Good point," Gustav agreed.

* * *

 

Elsa was almost giddy by how well the other Elsa had handled the meeting. Elsa had been expecting her to talk her through it the entire time, but her other self did it with barely any input from Elsa. The meeting itself couldn't have gone any better and Elsa was finally glad to have that chip off her shoulder. And all she had to do was sit back and watch.

When she'd gotten a moment alone – or rather when her other self was alone – Elsa thanked her one more time before transforming herself back. She nearly skipped down the halls, she had been so excited how successful everything had gone. Elsa was seriously considering using the other Elsa more often.

There wasn't anything left to do that day, so Elsa retired to her room and washed off the extra make up from her face. She had almost forgotten where her life had been when there was a familiar sounding knock at her door.

Elsa's stomach knotted as everything came back to her. The giddiness, happiness, and excitement blew away like dust in the wind. She cursed herself for forgetting the real issue that was supposed to occupy her mind. Anna.

It was time to face this problem head on and without waiting any longer, Elsa dropped what she had been doing and moved to the door. She noted that Anna hadn't just let herself in like usual which was a poor sign already. Elsa didn't want Anna to change, but it appeared it was too late for that. Gathering as much confidence that her other self had given her earlier, Elsa opened the door.

The sight wasn't something Elsa wanted to be greeted with. Anna had been crying. Her eyes and cheeks were puffy and red. This was the first time she'd seen her since Anna departed her room last night. Technically it was early morning. This was not how Elsa wanted to see her again.

"I think we need to talk. About this," Anna said. No greeting, no hellos. Just straight to the point. Elsa hated it already, but she didn't know what to do. Anna was acting nothing like, well, Anna.

"I know. Come on in." Elsa shouldn't have had to invite her in. She had to fix this.

Elsa led Anna over to her bed and sat her down, joining her at what she thought was a good distance. She didn't want to make her uncomfortable by being too close, but feared that if she sat too far, that she'd be making Anna feel isolated.

"I need to tell you everything," Anna admitted.

"I think that's for the best," Elsa agreed. Elsa hoped Anna knew what she was doing, because Elsa sure didn't.

"Maybe if I explained it from the beginning, it will be easier to find a solution."

Elsa nodded, but it hadn't been a question.

"When I first met you, I mean when we were reunited...it was the greatest day of my life. I finally had you back. I thought my life was finally complete."

Elsa cringed internally as she listened patiently, but nodded for Anna to continue.

"I thought you were really pretty at the time. When I saw you at the ice palace, my thoughts were less than pure, I'll admit. At the time I didn't think anything of it. I just thought, 'Wow, this is what my sister looks like?' and that was that." Anna chuckled lightly at the memory and Elsa joined her. The shock on Anna's face that day had been something. "It didn't really click until much later," Anna continued more somberly, "what it meant. It was slow at first, but eventually the truth started to come to me. The sight and touch of you were overwhelming, Elsa. You were like, angelic and every day you proved more powerful and more perfect in my perspective. I thought you were so beautiful and it made me feel so...disgusting."

"No."

"Yes, Elsa. I am disgusting. I shouldn't get butterflies in my stomach when I'm around you. I shouldn't imagine myself doing things to you that are so vile and disgusting that I refuse to say them out loud."

"It's not your fault," Elsa emphasized.

"Then whose is it?" Anna exclaimed.

Elsa couldn't bring herself to answer that for she knew Anna would never accept the answer.

"You make me feel warm on the inside, Elsa. You can't even begin to imagine."

"Help me then," Elsa suggested.

"Huh?"

"Tell me your desires?"

"No, I refuse," Anna said firmly.

Elsa met Anna's eyes and stared into them. "I won't judge you, Anna. I would never."

A moment later, Anna averted her gaze. "I want my life to revolve around you. I want to grow old with you, no one else. To be there every day for you, through every up and down. I want there to be Elsa and Anna, nothing and no one else. Just me and you together forever."

_That didn't sound so bad._ Elsa was flattered in a way.

"That's not all I wanted though. I want to kiss you, passionately, so very passionately. I want to feel the softness of your skin while our mouths are locked as one. To take in your scent and let it waft over me. I want to run my hands through your beautiful hair while I moan your name. I want to hear you moan my name. I want to fall asleep in your arms, completely at your will to do anything to me. I dream of exploring your body, learning everything I can and more. I want you…I…want to….I want to feel you inside of me."

Anna receded into silence and it took all of Elsa's willpower not to show any reaction even though she was already extraordinarily uncomfortable. Elsa involuntarily imagined herself doing those things with her baby sister and was utterly revolted, but she continued to refuse to let it show. The only evidence that slipped through was the heat rising to her cheeks. Elsa understood why Anna couldn't look at her while saying that and Elsa was thankfully she didn't have to face Anna herself while it was being said.

Anna started to sniffle and Elsa was quick to embrace her.

"I don't know how you can stand to touch me," Anna cried.

"Because you're my sister," Elsa answered. "Tell me more, please."

Anna sniffled again, but continued nonetheless. "When I eventually came to terms with my feelings was when I let myself start coming up with these fantasies. I let them run wild because I thought I was really in love with you. They developed, got worse and worse. It started off as romantic dates and true loves kisses to something so unholy. Y-you started to make me feel aroused and my fantasies started to take a twisted path."

"I'm sorry," Elsa blurted out. She couldn't help but think what it meant to touch Anna now, but Elsa pushed those thoughts away and held on tighter.

"No, please don't blame yourself," Anna pleaded.

"Maybe it is my fault. I was dressed so provocatively," Elsa argued, her muddled brain grasping for explanations.

Anna pushed herself away before Elsa could continue to grasp. "Stop it. Just stop it."

"I'm sorry," Elsa whimpered and looked towards the floor.

"What was it like before my coronation?" Elsa asked after a moment of silence.

"You were my end goal to everything. Sure I wanted my life to change, to be able to go outside and mingle with other people, but you were always the center of it. I couldn't ever give you up. I would have stayed locked behind these castle gates forever if it meant being with you," Anna answered, but didn't turn back around.

Elsa had to smile at her answer.

"I guess it wasn't until I actually got you that I realized what you really meant. It would certainly explain why I was so obsessed with you."

"It's because we were so close when we were kids," Elsa pointed out. Anna didn't say anything to that.

"I fell in love with Kristoff afterwards, probably because I was still reaching out for anyone's attention," Anna continued. "Once again I realized I had been wrong. This time the answer was right in front of me, so I thought at least. I guess I still don't know anything about love. I doubt I ever will."

Elsa knew first hand that old habits die hard. Anna still thought lesser of herself. How could Elsa possibly fix this without lowing Anna's self-esteem further?

"Anna, I know you won't like me saying this, but I have a feeling that this isolation we forced upon you may have had an impact on the way you think," Elsa started.

Anna turned around sharply at that. "You don't say," she replied to Elsa's utter shock, but Elsa didn't let it give her pause.

"What was done to you, the memory loss, the shutting you out. All of it has had a horrible effect on you. It's injured you, but what has been injured can be healed."

"So I've been living a lie then?"

"No, you love me dearly, as a sister. That is the ultimate truth, but I think the harmful effects of the injustices you've suffered has-" Elsa couldn't quite find the right word.

"Mutated it? Corrupted that love?" Anna guessed. She had hugged her knees to her chest by now.

"Yes."

"I think I agree with that."

"But we can fix it," Elsa assured her.

"Do you really think so?"

Elsa couldn't give her an answer.

"So, what are we going to do?" Anna didn't wait for an answer.

"We are going to keep this between ourselves. No one else will know."

"But how are we going to fix me?" Anna interrupted.

"We'll talk it out," Elsa quickly offered as a solution. "We'll go over every detail, no matter how difficult or embarrassing and come to the root of all this. I think once we discover what is causing this, we can confront it and conquer it. There has to be something deep down in that head of yours and once we discover it, I think you'll be on the right path again. Every night we'll go over it and map everything out. Just me and you. As it should be."

"That sounds...like a good idea." Anna actually smiled.

Elsa took the initiative and pulled Anna into her arms. She embraced her tightly as Anna dug her face into the crook of Elsa's neck. Running her hand up and down the younger girl's back while taking in all her warmth because Elsa was terrified of losing it. At the back of her mind, she wondered what Anna was thinking at this given moment.

_Is she enjoying this hug too much? Is she taking in 'my scent' with every breath she took_?

Elsa pushed the questions away. All that mattered was not losing Anna.

Elsa hated herself though. That solution had been pulled out of thin air. She had no idea where to even begin curing Anna. Elsa had absolutely no idea what to do, where to even begin. She was back at square one. For all she knew, Anna was really sick and beyond Elsa's help.

She squeezed Anna a little tighter and used all her willpower not to break down right there. She couldn't afford to in front of Anna. Anna was teetering on the edge of collapse and needed Elsa for support. The problem was that Elsa was hanging off the side herself by merely a few fingers.

_What am I going to do?_

Her eyes widened when her unspoken question was answered.

_"You could always go to me for help."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and Road.
> 
> Sorry for the slight delay. Wanted to have this out earlier this week, but got caught up in grinding. The Frozen 2 hype train didn't help either. Also have been working on Part 6 of Anna the Sorceress, so expect that within the next week.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

 

The days passed by like a blur for Elsa. Anna's attitude had remained unimproved over the course of it. During the day she would mope around from her room to the gallery or meals, it was very unbecoming of her normal behavior. She never went outside, she never danced around the halls, nothing like the old Anna. She was avoiding Elsa at all costs, but Elsa didn't blame her. She was trying to avoid Anna at all costs as well.

It wasn't that Elsa wanted to avoid her sister, but she felt like she had too. She could tell the way it pained the younger girl for Elsa to be around her. It made Elsa question her very being. Her own existence was causing Anna pain.

The exception to this self-segregation was at meals and their nightly sessions. Their meals were silent and awkward and their sessions equally awkward and useless. Within only a few days, Anna had laid everything out on the table to Elsa. It didn't help. It didn't help Elsa understand why Anna felt this way. It didn't help Elsa discover a solution.

There was simply nothing else to do. The connection that they had, even after lasting for thirteen years of separation, had been shattered. Elsa was out of options. Only drastic measures remained.

Elsa did know what not to do though. She knew she couldn't just run or hide away from this problem. Elsa had learned those lessons at least.

"Ahem."

The sound broke Elsa from her revere and she was brought back to reality. Or at least what she could see through her other self's vision.

_"Oh."_

"I've been finished with work for over ten minutes now. Are you awake in there?" the other Elsa asked.

_"Sorry, I was just thinking."_

"Clearly."

_"Thanks. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Or however it works."_ Elsa didn't care to wait for a reply before she transformed herself back.

Nonetheless, Elsa heard her reply once she was back in her own body.

_"You're welcome,"_ came the snarky response from within her head.

Elsa had never really questioned why or how the other Elsa finally started communicating with her from within Elsa's own mind. It explained where the other Elsa 'went' when she wasn't in control of Elsa's body, but why she hadn't made her presence known at least once over the past twenty one years was a mystery. Elsa didn't really care though, not with everything going on.

She was simply grateful this other side of her existed. Elsa's days went by in a blur because they went by so quickly. She spent most of her day in her own head, while the other Elsa did most of the work for her. Elsa just couldn't handle being queen at the moment. Meeting with people and other routine tasks were handled by the other Elsa while Elsa just did nothing. The final paperwork of the day was still Elsa's realm as she was about to do now. As were all major decisions, in which Elsa dictated to her other self on the spot. Elsa paid attention to what her other self was doing, sometimes.

Emphasis on the sometimes. Her other self knew exactly what she was doing and what Elsa wanted which wasn't really surprising to Elsa. As such, the other Elsa could for the most part work on her own while Elsa either dazed off into space or worried over Anna. It wasn't really cheating. Elsa still made the tough decisions and technically, it was still Elsa doing all the work in a weird magical way. Plus, it made her erratic appearance changes explainable. The public and ministers would only see her with short hair. As long as they never saw Elsa with her long hair for a while, they wouldn't question what was really going on. With everything going on with Anna, Elsa didn't plan on leaving the castle gates anytime soon so she really didn't have that big of a problem with tricking almost all of Arendelle. If this was going to become permanent with her other self – Elsa could barely plan out her life a week in advance since Anna's confession – then Elsa would just cut her own hair.

**Knock knock!**

Elsa was reminded that there were some people she had to explain it to. Her personal staff for starters.

"Come in," Elsa ordered.

That didn't mean she couldn't be skimpy on details though.

"Your majesty?"

"What do you need, Kai?"

"Ah, good, you're back to normal."

Elsa raised an eyebrow at her faithful servant. "You say that like it's a good thing."

"Of course it is. I prefer...well, you."

"Am I that much different?" Elsa tried to smile. It was forced.

"Well, the staff certainly think so. And if I may say so, you're not very pleasant in that...state," Kai observed.

Elsa just shrugged. She never really paid much attention to how the other Elsa interacted with other people. Elsa usually just made sure she was doing what she was supposed to be doing.

"Well, magic is a very difficult thing to understand and I won't even begin to try. I will just have to trust the judgment of my queen," he continued. Elsa wasn't really sure what he meant by that. His tone seemed candid, but she couldn't help but notice a hint of criticism in there.

_Well, it isn't like he knows what's really going on. He wouldn't understand why I'm doing this._

"Actually, your majesty, I was wondering if I could have a minute to speak to you about something personal." Kai's tone quickly shifted.

"Sure, I have a moment," Elsa answered.

"It's about Princess Anna," he started. Elsa held herself together as the dreaded words hit her. They were bound to notice her sad state eventually. "She has not been acting like herself lately. Everyone has noticed it and we're all concerned."

"Oh, I see." It was all Elsa could manage in that moment.

"We've also noticed that you two are...well to speak freely, your majesty, it seems like you two are drifting apart. Gerda and I are especially worried."

"Well...thank you for your concerns. There's actually something personal going on between us. Something with Anna actually."

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Kai quickly asked before Elsa could continue. "We hate seeing you two like this and Princess Anna is one of the worst states I have ever seen her. We are all here for you both. You don't have to go through this alone, whatever it may be."

"Actually we do. Thank you for your offer, but this is a private matter between us. I would like it to remain private."

Kai was immediately taken a back and Elsa wasn't really surprised by his reaction. "Are you sure, Elsa?" he asked urgently, breaking decorum to talk to Elsa as the family friend he was.

"Yes."

"This doesn't have something to do with Kristoff does it? Because Gerda is convinced you two are going through some kind of boy trouble and she is standing by to scold you both. I told her neither of you would let a boy get between you, but the timing is just too convenient. Honestly, I would be disappointed if you-"

"Wait, what? No, no." Elsa interrupted. "This has nothing to do with him. I...no that would never happen. Just stop, okay? I said this was personal, between me and my sister only. Please just stay out of our business."

Kai narrowed his eyes at Elsa, causing her to shy back at the unexpected reaction. "No," he said calmly. "I did that for thirteen years and watched you both suffer and won't do it again."

"Kai, I'm ordering you to leave us alone. As your queen, you will follow my orders."

"I swore an oath to protect you both. Even if that means from yourself. Your parents entrusted me with that job and I will carry it out until my very death."

"That will be arranged if you continue to disobey my orders!" Elsa snapped.

Elsa grabbed the edge of the desk, rather than let the hand fly to her mouth in shock. She instantly regretted those words. She hadn't even meant to say them really. The room grew chilly.

Kai kept staring at her in complete and utter shock. Elsa dropped her shoulders and looked away, resigned. He was supposed to be the closest thing to a father she had left.

_Why did I say that? He just wanted to help._

Finally, she heard him shuffle towards the door. Elsa looked up to watch him leave.

"Very well, your majesty," he sighed, pausing at the door, "if that is who I am actually speaking to," he spoke as his last words before slamming the door shut.

Elsa leaned back in her seat and let out a long sigh.

* * *

 

"Elsa, I was wondering if we could do something different tonight," Anna suggested when she visited her later that day.

"Uh, oh, sure okay," Elsa answered after some delay. She was still in shock over the incident with Kai a few hours early. Her paper work had been left undone. Her dinner left uneaten. So was Anna's for that matter.

Their conversations had been incredibly sparse over the past days, it was surprising to hear Anna offer something to remedy their communication problem. _I'll take any ideas at this point._

"Can I meet her?" Anna asked.

"No." Elsa flat out answered, probably more forceful than she should have. She knew where Anna was going already.

"But everyone else can?" Anna countered sharply.

"Huh?"

"I know what you do during the day, Elsa. I'm not deaf. Why can't I meet her?"

Elsa rubbed the back of her neck and shrugged. "I just..." she tried to think of an excuse, "...don't think you'd like her all the much." Elsa couldn't tell Anna that she didn't trust the other Elsa around Anna. It would cause her younger sister to go ballistic for allowing the other Elsa anywhere near the management of the kingdom if Elsa couldn't even trust her with Anna.

"Maybe you should let me decide that?"

"I thought we were supposed to talk about..." Elsa left it unsaid.

Anna made a face. "I really need a break from that Elsa. Please?"

Elsa sighed. "I guess I do, too." Her hand had moved from the back of her neck to rub at her forehead. "Alright, fine."

Anna squealed in delight. She was actually happy and Elsa's head shot up so fast it almost gave her whiplash. This was the first real progress in days.

"Alright, just stand over there," Elsa shooed her away from the bed. "Now remember, I'm still going to be there, I can still see and hear everything. Got it?"

Anna nodded and Elsa reveled in how excited she seemed.

"And if you want me back, just say the word and I'll be back just like that." Elsa snapped her fingers to drive the point home. "Don't hesitate if she makes you uncomfortable or threatened."

"Elsa, you make it sound like she's bad," Anna smiled.

_I'm not even sure myself._

But Elsa was too giddy to let that thought sink in. She was just happy that Anna was smiling for the first time in far too long.

"Alright, here it goes..."

* * *

 

It was finally happening. Anna was finally meeting this mysterious woman who had been taking over her sister's job over the last few days. Well, according to the stories she'd heard from the maids. They hadn't known the truth, but Anna did.

The days since her confession had been rough. Anna had no desire to do anything anymore. She tried to sleep as long as she could, going to bed early and waking up as late as possible. She would spend her day alternating between scribbling in her journal and trying to talk some sense into herself through her favorite paintings. Every day, she dreaded her nightly talks with Elsa. They were so embarrassing and were a constant reminder of what was wrong with her. Anna wanted everything to forgotten about.

Anna dreaded even being with Elsa. She figured the less she saw her sister, the less she'd desire her. It wasn't working, but Anna couldn't stand to look at Elsa without her stomach curdling and her mind racing. It felt like she had lost the connection to her sister and it was terrifying.

The rumors over the Queen's new appearance had provided Anna with an escape from reality, so to speak. She knew the first time she had overheard the maids talking about Elsa's new look that she had been up to something. It caught Anna's curiosity and she wondered why her sister had decided to cut out her interaction with all but her closest staff. Every time it was brought up in her presence, it sent Anna's mind pondering for hours over what it meant. It wasn't like Elsa couldn't handle social interaction. Anna surmised that her sister was shutting herself out again, but in a different way. She still wondered why – well she sort of knew why already – but more importantly why she was letting this other person do her job for her.

After two days of this, Anna realized that during her ponderings, she hadn't thought about her sickness or desire for Elsa. She had found her distraction, her escape from reality. As a result, Anna put all her effort into thinking about Elsa's other Elsa and allowed her hype for meeting her to spiral out of control. Tonight was going to be her first attempt to convince Elsa to meet her. It was far better than telling Elsa about every other time she touched herself while thinking of her sister at least.

Anna had been mildly surprised that Elsa had folded so easily though and on only the first night too. But then again, maybe Elsa was just as sick of these talks as much as Anna was.

However, when Anna backed away to give Elsa room, her throat tightened.

_What if I run out of things to think about once I get to the bottom of this other side of her?_

Anna couldn't go back to thinking about her sickness. She wanted to forget about it forever.

_Maybe over time, we'll just forget about it and go back to being sisters. Elsa can pretend it never happened and I can pretend I'm not in love with my sister._

Anna realized she had been lost in thought when Elsa's swirling magic caught her eye and brought her back her attention.

She watched it surround her, much like it did the first she had done it for Anna. It had been in the opposite direction then.

Elsa's body disappeared in the torrent of ice and snow, until the storm simply just dissipated. Anna's breathing hitched when her eyes met Elsa's.

She took a tentative step forward. She looked so much like Elsa, but so much different. There was so much more different, beyond her thicker dusting of freckles or her short hair. Just the way she carried herself, in the first few seconds alone, was enough to differentiate the two.

Elsa's eyes rolled up and her head perked, as if she was listening to something that Anna couldn't hear. Anna watched curiously.

"I understand," Elsa said to...someone at least. Then she looked at Anna and grinned. "Anna, my dear sister."

"Who were you just talking to?" Anna asked, still fixated on her previous interaction.

Elsa pointed to her head. "Just your sister."

"Oh." Now it made sense to Anna. "Oh, so Elsa is in there right now?" Anna took several more steps forward until Elsa was just outside her personal bubble.

"Elsa is right here."

"Oh, I meant my Elsa," Anna pointed out sheepishly.

"Am I not your Elsa too?" Elsa asked.

"Ah." Anna, who had her eyes fixated on Elsa's forehead, let her eyes drift down until she met Elsa's own.

"Hi," Elsa said.

Anna shyly took a step back, not realizing how close she had been.

"Sorry, uhm, Elsa."

"It's okay if you're confused or don't think I'm really your sister. I understand."

"No, that's not it. I just...it's just awkward because you're both Elsa, but you're not."

_I'm going to have to think of a different name for her._

"I can assure you, we are both Elsa. I am but another side of your sister, one that she doesn't realize."

"That's not what she makes it sound like," Anna pointed out. At least, that's what Anna got out of it the one time Elsa talked to her about it.

Elsa sat down onto the bed and ushered Anna over. "Here, take a seat, dear." Anna walked over to sit down on the bed and Elsa continued. "That side of me is having trouble accepting the truth. She will in time. One would think our daily routine would be proof enough of that already," she sighed. "But I guess not." Clearly, that had been directed at the Elsa trapped within her head.

_I really need a different name for you._

"Excuse me, Elsa? Do you mind if I call something else."

Elsa frowned. "I'm sorry, I don't understand?"

"Well, it's just that it's confusing with you both being named Elsa even if you say you are both Elsa. I was wondering if I can call you something else, to make it easier for me."

"Oh, I see. I suppose if that's what you need to be happy."

"Well, I mean it's just convenient."

"Anything for you, my dearest."

"O-okay."

"So? What do you have in mind, Anna?"

"Oh, uh, how about, Elsy?"

"Too childish."

"Okay, uhm..."

"I really do just prefer Elsa. That is my name after all."

"Oooh, how about Elle?" Anna exclaimed, ignoring her sister's plea.

Elsa rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. You can call me Elle."

"Yay! Elle it is."

"Oh, shut up," Elle spoke suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, sorry dear, I was talking to _Elsa_ ," Elle explained, emphasizing the 'Elsa'. Anna did not fail to miss that. "She thought my new nickname was amusing."

"I'm sorry, I'm still having trouble with this whole thing. So, while you are here, Elsa is in your head?"

Elle nodded.

"And when it's reversed, you're in Elsa's head?"

Elle chuckled. "Not exactly."

"Why?"

"That's a good question. Think of it like this, Anna dear. Elsa is Elsa. I am Elsa, even though you choose to refer to me as Elle. Elsa, the one you know, is the Elsa you see. I am the side of Elsa that people do not see. I was the repressed and hidden side, you see."

"What do you mean by, 'repressed and hidden'?" Anna wondered.

"Exactly what it means. The Elsa you see, by her own will and the will of others, repressed and hid the things that make me me."

"So like personality?"

"Personality, desires, etcetera."

"I still don't understand though. It sounds like you're saying that Elsa isn't really her true self?"

"Well, we all have a different side of ourselves, one that we don't let show, don't we?"

"I have experience with that," Anna spat, referring to ex-fiancé. "But I don't think that's always true. There's not a different side of me. The Anna you see is the Anna you get."

_Barring of course knowing about my sick desires for my sister. Most people don't get to see that. Thankfully._

"That you know of. Elsa certainly didn't until she met me."

"So you're saying that my true self is hidden and I didn't know about it? Well, I don't buy it. I believe we all come into this world as a clean slate and that how we are raised and our experiences in life shape our true selves. You seem to suggest we're all destined to be something and life reshapes us into something else, but deep down we're still what we were destined to be."

Elle shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. But one has to wonder why we make the decisions that we do."

"True." Anna let the words sink in. _Why do I do the things I do?_

"Maybe you're right, Anna. Or maybe for some people, their real selves get buried down so deep that they never truly know who you really are."

That gave Anna an idea. "Unless they have magic," she implied with a wink.

Elle raised her eyebrow at Anna and for a moment and seemed to pause in thought. Finally, she smiled. "It seems Elsa is adamantly opposed to the idea of doing something similar on you, if that was what you were suggesting."

"Ah, that stinker. Hey, Elsa, stop eavesdropping, will ya," Anna teased, practically shouting as if Elsa was going to have trouble hearing her. _On second thought._ "Wait, stupid question, but Elsa can hear me, right?"

"Hear and see everything that I do, yes. But Anna, I have to agree with her. This ability isn't much known to her and after all, magic can be very _dangerous_. Besides, only Elsa can perform this ability since she calls the shots. So good luck, convincing her."

"Yeah," Anna sighed.

"Chin up, dear, Elsa is easy to convince." _Ugh, why does she keep calling me 'dear'?_ "She folds rather quickly, you just need to push her."

"Ha, yeah right. Elsa's as stubborn as a mule."

"That's not true. Not with you at least."

"Tell that to the last thirteen years," Anna argued.

"Anna dear, she was being stubborn, for you."

"Well, true I suppose." _I wonder what Elsa has to say about this?_

"It's too bad she's too weak willed."

"Huh?"

"Oh, Anna, don't you know that you are the center of our life? We'd do anything for you and our throne. Unfortunately, Elsa is just unwilling to take the full step. She's far too meek and unconfident. She's fortunate to have me."

"That's not true, Elsa is strong and willing-"

"Then why is she having me do her job for her?" Elle cut off.

Anna was speechless. _Why indeed._

"Anna, your poor sister has been held back for so long. She was never allowed to reach her full potential. Her full power. Her magic is a wonderful gift and she's been letting it go to waste. Imagine what we can do with that? But don't worry, I'll bring her back to where she belongs and you'll be right along there with her. Nothing will stand in our way."

_Okay, this is nothing like Elsa. Full power? Full potential? What does that even mean? This isn't anything like the Elsa I know. Elsa is the same Elsa she was before the accident._

"Is something the matter, Anna?"

"Yes, actually. I don't agree with your assessment of my _sister_. I remember what Elsa was like before we were separated and you are nothing like her. Sure, those thirteen years had a profound impact on who she is today, but there was never anything about power or full potentials. Who even are you?"

"I am Elsa."

_No, you're not. I don't like her._

Anna crossed her arms and frowned. "You aren't the sister I know."

"Sometimes people aren't as they seem, dear."

"And stop calling me, dear."

"Sorry, d-Anna. You should understand, though, that you are the most important thing in our life. Everything is about you."

"Maybe I don't like the way you show it," Anna admitted.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Elle said somberly. She looked to the floor and away from Anna.

_Jeez, what a piece of work. How could Elsa possibly put her in charge? I really need to get to the bottom of this and why she's having this person act as Queen. I mean, Elsa heard everything Elle said right? And she's still letting her have that kind of power? How irresponsible._

Anna was about to open her mouth to ask Elsa to switch back when Ella's head snapped back up sharply. She looked directly into Anna's eyes and they looked different somehow. Glazed over almost.

"I know about your desires for me," Elle spoke suddenly, catching Anna off guard.

_Why is she bringing this up? I don't want to talk about this right now. Not with her of all people._

"Elsa can deny it all she wants, but I would never deny it to you." Elle started leaning forward.

Anna started to lean back, but Elle was quick to grab her wrists to stop her. "I-I don't understand."

"What is there to understand? There's nothing wrong with you, Anna. I want you to know that. It's horrible what she has done to you."

"What are you saying, it is horrible. I'm sick and Elsa hasn't done anything to me. What are you talking about?"

"How can love be bad when it's love?" Elle was continuing to lean forward.

"It's not love, it's disgusting."

"There's nothing disgusting about what we have between us." By now, Elle was leaning so far into Anna that she was being pushed back into the bed. Anna didn't resist, even as she was pinned onto the bed with Elle on top of her. Her heartbeat was racing as her sister's other self drew closer.

"Yes, Anna dear. I do love you. I love you so much, maybe even more than you love me."

Anna's eyes went wide as Elle leaned down and their lips met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and Road.
> 
> Hopefully I can get Chapter 8 fast than this update was. Just as a heads up, I'm currently working on a one shot the deals with what happens if Anna agrees to talk to Elsa alone during the coronation party, rather than the events of the movie taking place. That should be out around the time Chapter 8 comes out.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

It had happened so fast. One second she was there. The next thing Elsa knew, everything was gone.

_"Maybe I don't like the way you show it."_

It was the last thing Elsa had heard Anna say.

 _"I'm sorry to hear that,"_ her other self had responded with. Or Elle as Anna had dubbed her.

Elsa was sure Anna was about to end it there. She already didn't like the way the conversation had been going herself and she could tell Anna wasn't entirely comfortable with it. She was looking forward to Anna asking Elle to switch back.

Then everything went black. All her senses, the only two she had in this state, just stopped working. It was as if she was floating in an endless, blackened void. At first she was surprised and confused, but almost immediately the feeling had turned into panic.

She wasted no time willing herself back into her worldly state. She hadn't even paused to wonder if it would work before she tried. Nonetheless, Elsa was relieved when her senses came flooding back to her all at once like an avalanche.

She tried blinking the blinding light of her room away as a sound rang through her eyes. Her body was being shaken by some kind of force that she was unaware of in the split second of her transportation.

"Elsa! Elsa! Are you okay?"

Her eyes adjusted to the light at the same time the words began to make sense.

"Anna!" Elsa flung her arms around her younger sister, relieved that she was okay. "What happened?"

Anna suddenly pulled back, her hands coming up to her chest protectively. The sudden gesture had piqued Elsa's curiosity.

"Anna, what happened just now?"

Anna chewed her bottom lip and looked off to the side. "Y-you changed back suddenly, you caught me off guard."

_She's hiding something, isn't she?_

Elsa went on to explain to Anna what had happened. The moment everything just switched off and how she panicked and transformed herself on her own.

"What happened while I was blacked out?" Elsa finally asked. "Did she do something to you?"

Anna didn't say anything at first, but Elsa could tell that she was deep in thought. She pursed her lips together and refused to meet Elsa's eyes. Elsa was about to ask again, when Anna finally opened her mouth and cut her off.

"Nothing, Elsa," she answered.

"Nothing?" Elsa didn't believe her.

"You said the last thing you heard Elle say was that she was 'sorry to hear that', right?" Anna quickly asked.

Elsa nodded.

"Elsa, you started transforming like seconds later," Anna exclaimed, a little too suddenly.

It occurred to Elsa right there and then that she hadn't really had any kind of concept of time while she had been blacked out. It had felt like a few minutes at least. So she thought at first.

_But maybe it was only for a few seconds._

Instead of trusting her gut, Elsa decided to trust Anna and let the manner drop. She would certainly have to ask her other self about it as soon as possible. In the meantime though...

"So, Anna, what did you think?" Elsa asked then winced. "You didn't like her, did you?"

Anna sighed. "To be completely honest, Elsa, I don't think she's that bad," Anna revealed much to her surprise.

Elsa blinked, her memory quickly flashing back to the conversation she had witnessed between Anna and her other self. "Anna, are you sure?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Anna, please. I was listening in on your conversation with her. I know you and that was not how you act around someone you 'don't think is that bad'."

"You don't know me," Anna snapped. She instantly gasped, regretting the outburst as Elsa was taken aback. "Elsa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No," Elsa cut her off, still shaken up by Anna's outburst. "You're right, I don't know you. Not enough."

Elsa retreated into the center of her bed and folded her knees up to her chest.

"Elsa, I'm sorry."

"Anna, just leave it alone. I'm sorry for questioning you. I just assumed..."

"Okay, I'll admit, she's not entirely likable," Anna confessed. "You're so much better, honest."

"I'm not jealous," Elsa pointed out.

"She's just" – Anna tapped her chin in thought – "interesting."

"Interesting?"

"Yes, interesting. Different. She's like a different side of you that's unexplored. Like a 'what if Elsa'."

"A 'what if Elsa'?"

"Yeah, like, what if you were different."

"Oh. Can I ask you a question?"

"Huh? What? Oh, right, yeah go ahead, Elsa, you can ask me anything," Anna stammered, it was her turn be caught off-guard.

"Do you have a problem with uh, Elle, working with me in managing the kingdom?"

Anna shook her head 'no'.  
__  
And here I was convinced she would have a problem with it after meeting her. Not even a single objection.  
  
"See, I kind of made a deal with her that I'd let her out every day, and having her out during the day means I don't have to lose time I could spend with you," Elsa explained.

"Elsa, it's okay, really. I don't have a problem with it. Whatever you need to do."

Elsa looked at her sister skeptically. Elsa had been afraid to admit to Anna why she didn't want to introduce her to her other self because she was afraid Anna would disapprove of her decision to allow Elle near the management of the kingdom. Instead she held no qualms, even as Elsa sat here questioning everything Anna said as if Elle had poisoned her mind.

_What is really going through your mind, little sister?_

Truthfully, Elsa had no idea these days.

"I appreciate that, Anna," Elsa finally said.

Anna yawned. "Well, it's getting kind of late. Don't you think?"

Elsa studied her sister as she slid off the bed and stretched her body. She hadn't answered, too busy trying to piece together Anna's strange behavior.

"Goodnight," Anna said.

Elsa looked up abruptly, not realizing she had been staring as she thought. Anna was staring at her, waiting for a response.

"Ah, sorry, I was thinking. Goodnight, Anna."

"Thanks for letting me meet her," Anna said as she walked for the door. Elsa scrambled up to follow her. "If it isn't too much of a hassle though..."

Anna trailed off when Elsa met her at the door. "...Yes?" she finally asked after almost a full minute of waiting for Anna to continue.

Anna shrugged her shoulders. "If you'll give me a chance to finish my conversation with Elle since you know, we got cut off," Anna squeaked.

_I thought that conversation was pretty much over._

"Sure, why not," Elsa answered with a smile.

Elsa shut the door once Anna was gone and dragged herself back to her bed. She flopped back onto her mattress and groaned before remembering her night was still not finished quite yet.

"What was that all about?" Elsa asked out loud to the empty room.

There was no answer.

"Don't play dumb, I know you're there. You're always around," Elsa added under her breath.

Still no answer.

Elsa was considering transforming herself as a last resort when she finally got her response.

_"Elsa, I'm sorry. I'm here. What's wrong?"_

"Don't play stupid with me, Elle," Elsa mocked. "What was that, when I blacked out?"

 _"Ah, maybe I should have warned you about that,"_ the other Elsa admitted.

Elsa rolled her eyes.

_"That is what it is like to live inside of your head, Elsa._

"An endless black void?"

Elle laughed. _"Do you really think I spend my days in your head like you've been in mine? Seeing and hearing the exact same things you do day in and day out?"_

Elsa had no idea really and had no way of knowing if that was true or not. "Okay, so why has it never happened before? Why now?"

_"Don't ask me. Maybe you're still getting used to this whole thing. I suppose these things take time."_

"Okay, then why do you know so much about my life?"

_"Because I'm you."_

"Yes, but not when you're in an endless of void of darkness with no contact with the outside world."

_"Hmmm."_

"What?"

_"That's certainly not how it works for me. When I'm in that state, I'm aware of what's going on to a degree."_

"Well, for me it's a bleak wasteland of nothingness."

_"Maybe it just takes getting used to. And practice. You know what your tutor's used to say, 'practice makes perfect'."_

Elsa did not miss the point Elle had made by bringing up a lesson from her childhood. Nor had she missed the usage of 'your' instead of 'our'.

 _"Honestly, Elsa, I don't know what your problem with it is. It's not a bad state to be in. It's like sleeping almost. You'd be better off spending time like that when I'm in control of our body."_  
  
Elsa chewed the inside of her cheek and remained silent.

_"Do you not trust me?"_

"N-no, I mean, I do trust you. It's just, I don't like not being in control like that."

_"What's there not to be in control of? You can still transform, can't you?"_

"Well yes, but...wait, can you control going into that state?"

_"Of course, though, I didn't learn how until after you first transformed yourself. Otherwise I would have contacted you sooner."_

"Right, but I don't like how it just happened to me like it did tonight."

_"I see. Perhaps you just got too bored and put yourself there without realizing it?"_

"I guess." _Except I was anything but bored._

_"Trust me, Elsa. It's nothing bad. It's like you're in a dream."_

"Can you at least tell me how to switch back and forth?"

_"Hmmm...I'm afraid I'm not sure how to explain it. You'll just have to figure it out on your own. It's not hard though, I swear, you'll figure it out."_

Elsa groaned.

_"Well, you know you can transform still, right?"_

"I suppose." One positive note.

_"Elsa, is this Elle name going to become a thing now?"_

Elsa smiled to herself. "Sorry, Elle, Anna has a point."

Elle's disproval was obvious.

Without realizing it, and without moving or changing her clothes, Elsa drifted off to sleep following the conversation. She had completely forgotten to ask her other self what she had thought about her conversation with Anna though. That night however, Elsa didn't care, for she dreamt of a simpler time when she and Anna were only children. The dream was a nice escape from the reality of the present.

_"It's like you're in a dream."_

Elle's words from that night rang throughout Elsa's head the next morning, which had come way too early for the young queen.

* * *

 

It didn't happen again when Elsa transformed herself for working the next day. Not right away at least. It was during a long hour of her other self doing a menial task that Elsa suddenly found herself in a similar situation as the night before. This time she tried not to panic and eventually managed to calm herself down. What she discovered was finding herself in an almost trance-like state, a state that was somewhat better than simply watching her other self work throughout the day.

Unfortunately, she had yet to discover the unexplainable way to come in and out of said state. In the three days that had followed that first night, Elsa found herself drifting into the trance state without impetus at least once each day. The odd thing was, Elsa found herself leaving the state and regaining her lost senses in a similar fashion. Without prompting it or trying. It was like an outside force was making the decision for her.

Elsa hadn't failed to miss the impeccable timing for her return to reality when it happened. The first time she left the trance-like state happened at the exact moment that Elle required Elsa's input for an important decision. The next two times just so happened to coincide when her other self had finished with their daily work. Elsa's suspected that Elle had been behind it somehow, but had never bothered to ask, instead brushing it off as some kind of subconscious decision on her own part. Elsa was fine with that explanation for the time being.

To say that being in a trance-like state improved things for Elsa's psyche would have been a bold lie. Elsa took the peace from sight and sound to brood over her spiraling relationship with Anna. In keeping with the common theme over the past few days, it was Anna's whole talk with Elle that was on her mind in particular.

She still failed to grasp why Anna had reacted the way she did and Elsa herself was unsure why it bothered her so much.

 _"I don't think she's that bad,"_ Anna had said.

It just didn't make sense to her, but it wasn't like Elsa could go to Anna to ask her to explain. The first day after, Anna avoided Elsa at all costs. She even canceled their nightly session for whatever reason. The second night, their sessions resumed back to what it had been without a peep from Anna about her talk with Elle or the aftermath. The third night had been the exact same.

Now that it was the next morning, Elsa suspected tonight was going to be no different.

_I should really concentrate and get to work._

Today wasn't a day for brooding though. Most of the day was going to be spent writing up and signing important documents that required her direct hand. Her other self had been needed for a small meeting in the morning, but the rest of the day was all Elsa. She was hoping the change in pace would provide her mind ample distraction. After a few weeks of working with her other self, Elsa was discovering that extra downtime had its downsides. Mainly when it resulted in excessively dwelling upon sensitive subjects and sources of anxeity.

Seven hours later though, Elsa had a migraine and desperately wished to be stuck within her head again. She had hit her low a few hours in, when she heard footsteps pass by her door. Elsa had looked up from her work, hoping Anna was about to burst through the door and save her from this monotony like she had in the past. Then she remembered that those things didn't happen anymore, not since that confession.

Elsa could never hate her sister, but she almost did hate Anna for making that confession. Elsa couldn't though, just like she couldn't blame Anna for actively avoiding her. She knew what it was like to keep a secret. It was not an easy task and Elsa knew all about that.

It wasn't fair. First it was her powers that had taken them away from each other. Then their parents were taken and now, only months after reuniting, they were being pulled apart again.

_What's the point?_

Elsa found she could no longer go on with her work. There were too many emotions pulling at her mind – depression, anger, guilt, dread – as well as the migraine to top it off. Elsa tidied up her desk and quickly left her office without thinking about what work she would have to make up. She didn't care. On her way out, Elsa couldn't help but wonder what life would have been like has she not been destined this position of power. She was the most powerful person in her country, and perhaps the world with her magic, yet Elsa hated her life.

Magical powers. The crown. Anna's unnatural feelings for her. Her other self constantly pointing out that Elsa was something different than she thought she was. Finally, the whole meeting between Anna and Elle, which continued to bother Elsa more than it should. It was too much for the young woman to handle. Elsa had slipped into depression days ago and she was only going further downhill.

Elsa was thinking what reality was planning to throw at her next and ruin her life further when she turned the corner in the hall. Her self-loathing cost her as Elsa slammed into an unseen object.

Thankfully Elsa was able to control herself before falling down. The maid that she had slammed into remained upright as well. Unfortunately, the tray of hot drink that the maid had been carrying did not remain intact with most of its contents ending up on one of Elsa's favorite outfits.

Elsa took a moment to look at the stain on her dress before looking back at the maid. Elsa was already annoyed between working and thinking. Now she was fuming.

Elsa snapped and went off on the young maid. She scolded her for not watching where she was going, for being inattentive, and for ruining Elsa's outfit then ordered her to clean the mess and promptly stormed off before the terror stricken maid could utter a word.

In Elsa's fit of rage, she didn't realize until she was storming off what had really happened. Elsa would never have gone off on anyone for something that was her own fault. In fact, she hadn't gone off on the maid at all. Elsa hadn't muttered a word. Elsa wasn't in control of her body.

Elsa transformed herself back immediately and thankfully her body had already turned another corner, out of the view of the maid.

She wanted to scream, to rip Elle out of her head and beat her to a pulp. But instead, Elsa was speechless and ran into the first room she could find, slammed the door shut behind her and slid down the door, tucking her head between her knees. Her body was visibly shaking.

_How did she do that? How did she transform by herself?_

Elsa didn't need to ask Elle to explain herself. Elsa's other self spoke up almost as soon as Elsa's bottom hit the floor.

 _"I thought you were in danger. I transformed after you were hit and that bitch was too distracted trying to keep herself from falling to notice it. You don't have to worry about that. I'm glad it was nothing though,"_ Elle explained nonchalantly. It was as if she didn't even notice Elsa's state.

Elsa didn't reply and continued to wonder how it had been possible. Or even why. Elsa stared off at the wall across the room and shivered. She was terrified. It was the same fear she felt when she was younger and her powers were out of control. Elle was out of control.

If Elle noticed Elsa's fear, she didn't say anything. Not a word of comfort, not another word about the incident.

Finally, Elsa took a deep a breath and stood herself up. There was a mirror in the room that Elsa had sought refuge in. She caught her reflection in it and studied herself for a moment. Seeing her own image reminded Elsa how horrible she felt on a daily basis. It showed on her face and no amount of makeup was going to cover it up. Elsa refused to believe the aging woman in the mirror was supposed to be in her young twenties.

Slumping her shoulders, Elsa walked out of the room with her arms wrapped around her torso. The fear was there no more. Elsa just didn't care enough anymore to be afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and Rd.
> 
> I should be posting the oneshot, either already or soon. It's going to be called "Love" so look out for it. Also working on Part 7 of Anna the Sorceress, so expect delays for Chapter 9. It'll be a little long since I havn't even started writing it nor finished writing Part 7 of AtS.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	9. Chapter 9

Elsa was in absolute disbelief. "You what?

"I just thought it would be a good idea," Anna explained.

"I...but why, Anna?" After all that had happened, Anna had actually done the unexpected. Elsa thought Anna didn't like Elle. She had been so wrong. Elsa began to pace around the room, thinking.

"I-If you don't want to, we don't have to," Anna stammered.

"No, Anna, I just want to know why." Four days. It had already been four days since Anna and Elle's meeting and Anna now came to her with this request. Elsa felt betrayed.

Anna didn't want to have her nightly sessions with Elsa anymore. She wanted them with Elle now.

"Why, Anna? Am I not good enough for you?" she began.

"No! What kind of ridiculous idea is that, Elsa?"

"Then why?"

"This isn't working," Anna said flatly.

Elsa couldn't disagree. "I know."

"But I think it's making things worse."

Elsa nodded. "But why Elle?" She practically spat the name. She hadn't forgotten about the incident with the maid the day before. In the back of her mind she wondered if it was unusual to hate one aspect of herself so vehemently.

"I think she's exactly what I need."

Elsa balled her hands into fists. _I'm a failure._

"She's blunt, she's to the point, and most importantly, she's not afraid to hurt me," Anna continued.

"Huh?" Elsa hadn't been entirely listening.

"I don't mean physically, but she won't be afraid to set me straight. Face it, Elsa, I need help, a lot of it. I need someone to force some sense into me." Elsa hated the way Anna bewildered herself so often these days. Elsa hated herself more for agreeing with Anna. "I don't want to put you in the position to have to do that to me."

"You don't think I'm capable of it," Elsa accused.

"No, I don't want you to keep doing this to yourself." Anna shot up from her seat on the bed. "You have enough on your plate as it is with the crown. I don't want you to push yourself, you're already..." Anna left her sentence unfinished, unsure of completing the sentence.

"Already what?" Elsa prompted.

"You just haven't been yourself lately, Elsa."

_No, shit._

"I wonder why?" Elsa asked sarcastically.

"See? This is exactly what I am talking about. This isn't like you. I put too much on you. I'm sorry, this is all my fault."

"Anna, no-" Elsa was apologetic as soon she had snapped at her. _What's wrong with me?_

"Yes, Elsa, it is. But please, let Elle deal with this now. You have enough to worry about as it is. Please, do this for me. I just want to go back to the way things were," Anna pleaded.

Elsa sagged her shoulders. "I do too, Anna." _You have no idea._

"So?"

Elsa sighed. She wasn't sure what Anna expected her to say.

"Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad," Elsa lied.

"It's for you, Elsa." Elsa wasn't sure if she could trust anything Anna was saying anymore.

_"She doesn't think you're good enough._

_She doesn't think I'm good enough._

"Elsa?"

_"You're a failure."_

_I'm a failure._

"Elsa, are you-?"

_"You failed, Anna."_

_I failed you, Anna._

"When do you want to start?" Elsa cut her off, defeated. Elsa still cared about Anna more than anything. If Anna thought she was a failure that was fine. If Anna thought Elle would do a better job than her that was fine too.

"Oh, really? Well, uhm, I guess we can start with tonight's session if that's okay with you."

Elsa barely let Anna finish before she transformed herself into Elle. She had to transform as she couldn't face Anna anymore knowing that she had failed her, nor could stand there a second longer without breaking down into tears.

When Elsa finished transforming, she immediately found herself in that blank, void-like state again with no contact with the outside world. Elsa was content like that.

* * *

Elsa didn't bother asking Anna how the session had gone the next morning at breakfast. It was a silent breakfast. Afterwards, Elsa headed straight to her room. It was the first time in weeks that she actually had a free morning. Anna approached her on the way and asked her to do something together. Elsa lied and told her she had business to attend to. She didn't wait around to see Anna's reaction.

Elsa spent her morning lying in bed, letting the breeze flow through her open window. The fresh air was nice. The peace was nice too.

The lack of Elle bothering her was even better. As long as she kept herself from thinking about Anna, Elle, or work, Elsa was going to be fine. She allowed herself to relax, she just needed some time to relax.

_This is nice._

Elsa sat up in bed. It suddenly occurred to her that ever since her other self had shown up and Anna had confessed, Elsa had completely neglected her powers. She hadn't practiced in weeks.

_That's always a relaxing exercise. Maybe it will take my mind off of things._

Elsa worked her magic, creating snowflakes and small sculptures throughout her room. She didn't want to start off too intense, but something was wrong. Every time she used her powers, she felt worse, the opposite of her normal reaction. The more complex she went, the stronger the feeling was. It was hard for Elsa to describe the feeling at first and she had to stop to think about it. It was very familiar though.

It didn't take long for Elsa to figure out what that feeling was. It was no different than what Elsa usually felt on a daily basis ever since Elle and Anna's confession had happened. "I don't get it," she said to herself. "Using my powers since my coronation has always made me feel good. Now it just makes me feel like my usual self. I've never had this problem before all this stuff happened."

_Perhaps practice isn't the best thing to do right now._

Just then, a small bird flew into Elsa's window, catching her off guard and sending her tumbling in surprise. The bird perched itself on her desk. Elsa scrambled to her feet and watched the bird as it took in the unfamiliar surroundings.

_Anna will love this. I have to go find her..._

"Oh, right," Elsa said aloud.

Thinking of Anna though spurred another thought within Elsa's mind. She thought back to the original meeting between Anna and Elle earlier that week, when Anna had suggested the transformation process be used on herself.

Elsa eyed the bird. She knew what the transformation process had done to inanimate objects and herself, but she had never thought about what it would do to other living organisms.

Elsa raised her hands, the excitement of carrying out her experiment overriding the negative feelings that using her powers gave off. She certainly had precedent with herself. There was no reason that Elsa could think of as to why she could change, but not other organisms.

The little black-headed birdy was oblivious to the happenings around it. By the time it noticed the swirl of magic closing in on it, it was too late to act. A small vortex of frost and ice engulfed the bird completely.

Elsa smiled, expecting a marvelous snowbird to come flying out of the frost at any moment. Nothing happened. The vortex died down. Still nothing happened. Elsa found the bird sitting on its side on her desk. Her smile remained, even as her stomach sank.

Apparently the trick only worked on inanimate objects after all. And herself of course.

Elsa approached the bird tentatively, still hoping it would see her coming and fly away. Even when Elsa picked it up and realized it was frozen solid, her smile still remained in place.

"No, please," she whispered to herself. "Please don't be dead."

The frozen bird, obviously, didn't answer. Elsa's smile failed and she began to cry.

Anna didn't want Elsa, she preferred Elle, nor was Elsa capable of helping her sister. That was clear to Elsa the moment Anna made her request the night before. She was barely capable of running her own kingdom, there was no enjoyment left with using her powers, and Elsa barely had control of her own consciousness. Killing the bird was trivial compared to Elsa's other faults and failures, but it set her off.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Elsa collapsed onto the ground wailing with the dead bird clutched tightly to her chest.

"Why am I so worthless, Elle?"

There was no answer. Elsa tried asking Elle again. She tried asking her parents, but they too didn't answer. She even called out for Anna, but Anna never came, since she was out of earshot.

"Please, somebody, please," she begged through her sobs. Elsa wasn't even sure what she was asking or why by that point.

Even with the self-control Elsa had learned since her coronation, a breakdown of this magnitude would have surely resulted in the freezing of Elsa's room. However, no magic left Elsa's body and Elsa took no notice of the anomaly.

Elsa eventually cried herself to sleep and remained that way throughout the afternoon. She awoke after it was already dark, still on the floor, but with a blanket covering a body and a pillow under her head. There was a note next to her on the pillow.

Elsa grabbed it and for a fleeting moment hoped that Anna had left the note and provided her with the blanket and pillow. It was the only thing on her mind at the moment.

She wasn't surprised at all when it turned out it was Kai who had actually left the note. He had found her on the ground after she had fallen asleep. Rather than disturb her, he canceled all of Elsa's afternoon meetings and provided her with the pillow and blanket along with the note explaining what he had done. Elsa sighed to herself and realized the bird was missing as well. He must have disposed of it for her. She was glad it was gone, but hoped he had given it a proper disposal.

Elsa stood up on shaky knees and wiped her nose. A dinner had been left for her as well, recently from the looks of it. She looked around the room some more, hoping to find some kind of sign that Anna had been there. Surely if Kai found her crying in her sleep, Anna was bound to hear about it and come by to make sure Elsa was okay. There was no sign of Anna ever being there.

Elsa ignored the food and mopped over to her bed. Without bothering to change, Elsa climbed into bed and stared up at the ceiling.

_My room didn't freeze. Odd._

The weight of her emotions caught up to Elsa now that she was awake again. She never had a chance to wonder anymore about her room as a new wave of tears came pouring out. Elsa cried herself to sleep a second time.

* * *

Anna ripped out yet another page of her journal, dissatisfied with her recent attempt to fill a single entry.

"Grrrrr." Anna threw the ball of paper off to the side and rubbed her temples. "I hope I'm doing the right thing," she said to no one in particular. On one hand, Anna was sure she was doing the right thing, but she still had her doubts. After all, she had lied to her sister.

Anna truly believed that Elsa was better off without having to deal with Anna's sickness and their nightly sessions. It was obvious how much of a toll they had taken on Elsa already and Anna couldn't stand seeing Elsa so miserable. It was Anna's motives that were questionable though. Yes, Anna wanted Elsa to be better off, but the true reason for having the nightly sessions with Elle was purely selfish. Anna had decided to indulge in her desire, rather than cure it.

Anna had thought she had found an easy way out for everyone. She was in love with her sister, but her sister didn't share those feelings. Elle did though. Elle was Anna's way of being in love with her sister while she and her _real_ sister could still maintain a healthy, sisterly relationship. Anna could have her cake and eat it too.

She had explained the idea to Elle on their next meeting together, after she had convinced Elsa to allow Elle to host their nightly sessions. Anna felt bad lying to Elsa, but she chalked it off as doing it for her own good. Elle graciously accepted Anna's proposal, promising to keep it a secret, and just like that, Anna's nightly sessions went from trying to cure her to a date with her sister. Or her sister's alternative self at least.

Anna knew there was a limit to their relationship, since it was confined to only a few hours a night. They spent the entire time in the room, Anna wasn't ready to take it outside their room just yet. They talked about things, about themselves mostly. There wasn't much Elle had to talk about. There wasn't much for Anna to talk about either since everything Elsa knew about Anna, Elle already did too. Anna mostly talked about her feelings and desires she had for Elsa that had developed over the past months. Ironically, the night ended up more of a nightly session anyway. On the positive side, Anna was able to disclose in great detail without any difficulty. It was easier to talk about the subject when the person actually loved her back. Elsa had always just listened to her with pity or sympathy and a pang of disgust. She never understood either. Elle understood. Elle really did make it easier to talk to about this sensitive subject.

That being said, Anna still had her doubts about Elle. She may have looked like Elsa with more freckles, but her personality was too different. When it was Anna's turn to listen, she tried to find some kind of sign that it was still Elsa in there to at least confirm her hypothesis that Elle was an 'Elsa gone differently'. If there was anything there, Anna didn't see it in the short time she had. Even after all that, Anna still ended the night determined to continue this plan.

That had been a week ago. Night after night she had her sessions with Elle. Dates would be a more appropriate word for them now. Talking had evolved into cuddling, strolls through the gardens, games, and even a tea party – all outside the eyes of the staff and servants of course. Anna had expected improvements. None had appeared.

Elsa was still miserable. She barely talked to anyone, rarely left her room, always had an excuse when Anna wanted to do something together (Anna made sure to ask once a day at least), and even spent most of her waking hours as Elle rather than Elsa. As for Anna, she was now doing everything she wanted to do with Elsa as couple with Elle. She was still in love with Elsa though, the _real_ Elsa.

Anna spent every day trying to replace Elsa as her love interest with Elle. She wanted Elle to fill that role so that she and Elsa could go back to being normal sisters. There was no problem with the physical aspect and Anna was definitely attracted to Elle and her body. It was personality that was the obstacle. Elsa and Elle were too different.

_Maybe I just need more time._

It had only been a week after all.

Anna started writing again on a fresh page. She decided she was going to start a log of everything her and Elsa did. This way she could keep track of any improvements or the lack therefor. If no signs of improvement were showing, Anna was going to have to change up the game. For the time being, Anna's new plan of action calmed the turmoil in her mind.

She stopped and chewed on the end of her pen.

_What do I need to do differently though?_

At the moment, Anna was given Elsa her space, but not too much space. She still made sure to ask Elsa to do things together every day and tried to make small talk during meals. That was more than Anna had done since everything had happened at least.

_And yet, she still finds an excuse not to do anything with me. Maybe she needs more space? I don't blame her though. She probably can't look at me without wondering if I'm having a sick fantasy. Only time and her thinking I'm cured will fix that._

Anna decided she was going to continue giving Elsa her space, at least until she got back into a normal routine with her work. Anna had heard rumors that Elsa had slept through an entire afternoon one day and her meetings had to be canceled. Kai had been skimpy on the details and Anna couldn't bring herself to ask because Elsa had been far more closed off than normal the morning after it happened.

More importantly, Anna was hoping giving Elsa her space would help curb her own desires for her older sister. The faster Anna could switch her focus to Elle, the better off both Elsa and Anna would be. Then they could finally go back to the way things were supposed to be.

It still disturbed her that Anna was resting all her hope on one giant lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and Rd. Sorry for the lengthy wait, but I should be back on point now. Next update shouldn't be as long and I will soon be wrapping up Anna the Sorceress, so that should help too for getting out future updates faster.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	10. Chapter 10

Nothingness. There was nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to touch, nothing to smell. It was a feeling of weightlessness, of floating in an endless void. There was no contact with the outside. It was just Elsa.

But it also meant no problems. No sick sisters, no kingdom to manage, no worries to bother Elsa's peace. She liked it this way. It was the only reprieve she had during these troubled times, her only escape left. But even in her own body, Elsa was unable to find reprieve.

Elsa had no plans for the future. She had no plan of action. At the moment, she was only concerned with trying to escape her awful reality. She was losing her sister, her kingdom, and even her own mind and body. But Elsa had no idea what was going to come next once she survived this ordeal. Nor did she have a plan for that far ahead.

Elsa was acutely aware that her body was still there, somewhere. It was with Anna, she could feel somehow. That was fine with her, Anna was happier with Elle anyway.

Times like this allowed Elsa to think hard, but most of the time, she chose rather to not think at all. It was nice, but it was getting old.

Many days had passed by since Anna and Elle started their private sessions. Each day, Elsa spent less and less time within her own body. She still felt like hell, but the peace of being locked away within her own mind proved to be a greater rest than Elsa could have imagined. Only now she was starting to realize that she had completely lost control of her life. Was it time to start trying to get it back?

A wave of despair washed over Elsa's soul, putting the thought to rest. It wasn't time yet. Anna still held her sessions and didn't appear to be getting any better.

_No, I just have to wait a little bit longer. Everything will work itself out._

So Elsa thought. Would it though? She couldn't be sure. It didn't matter anyway. Things were better of this way, both for Anna and the kingdom.

_It doesn't feel right. Are things really better this way?_

Elsa found herself asking that question more and more, but she refused to let it ruin her moment of peace.

Elsa inhaled sharply. She could feel the air filling her lungs, the light blinding her eyes. Her senses had returned. In an instant and without warning, Elsa had returned to her body.

Elsa blinked away the blinding light and looked around in confusion. She was in her room with Anna as she should have been, but something was wrong. She had never transformed herself, nor was asked to. Something was very wrong indeed.

"Anna, what happened?" Elsa asked her sister whose attention, she noticed, seemed to be drawn elsewhere.

"I'm sorry?"

"What happened with Elle?"

For a moment, Anna appeared to tense up before turning to face Elsa. "What do you mean, Elsa?"

"I mean, what just happened right now?"

"I don't understand what you're talking about, Elsa. I finished up the session with Elle and asked you to come back."

_No._

It wasn't the first time Elle had done the transformation herself. The incident with the maid in the hallway was the first and only time it happened, but that time her other self had an excuse for doing it. Or so Elsa was told. This time there was no other explanation that Elsa could think of besides one. Elle was cutting Elsa out of the loop.

_First this, but then what? Replace me completely?_

"I-I need to go. Goodnight, Elsa," Anna said before rushing out of the room. Elsa barely took notice until the door slammed shut behind her.

"Elle," Elsa called out once she realized she was alone.

 _"Elsa, how are you holding up?"_ Elle replied in return. She acted like nothing was wrong.

"What is your problem?" Elsa demanded, she wanted to stay collected but her emotions were getting the better of her lately.

_"I'm sorry, I don't understand."_

"Why did you transform for me?" Elsa wanted answers and Elle's lack of empathy in her tone wasn't helping.

 _"Why are you getting so worked up, dear? I just thought it was more efficient."_ There was no face for Elsa to see but she could imagine the smug expression Elle would've had.

"Well, it's not what I want." Elsa began to pace around her room. Anger and other emotions plagued her mind, but no snow or ice presented itself for some reason.

 _"Are you so sure, Elsa? Isn't this exactly what you wanted?"_  
  
"No. This is too much. I'm losing control."

_"You already lost control."_

"No!" Elsa screamed at Elle. Elle wasn't there of course, but Elsa had somehow ended up at her mirror. The reflection showed Elsa, but she couldn't help but see her other self in the reflection instead. "This is going too far."

 _"You asked for my help and I gave it to you. This is what you wanted, Elsa."_ It was hard to believe Elle was an extension of herself.

"Stop saying that. You don't know what I want. You don't know me at all."

_"Elsa, I know you more than you know yourself. You're a naive, scared little girl who is too weak to handle her own problems."_

She knew that wasn't true. She was proving it now. "You're lying."

_"Then why am I here? Running your kingdom. Comforting your sister. Explain that Elsa?"_

"I..."

_"You need me, Elsa. Without me, you are nothing."_

"No, shut up!" Elsa cried out.

Elle laughed. _"Are you going to cry again? Shut yourself off from the world within your own mind, maybe? Face it, Elsa, you are nothing without me."_

_Are things really better this way?_

The question replayed itself within Elsa's mind. Elle's act tonight had proved to be the breaking point. Elsa was going to have to face the question no matter what.

_"Listen, Elsa.-"_

"Why?" Elsa cut her off.

_"Why?"_

"Why did you do this tonight?"

_"I told you already. It's more efficient and easier this way."_

"Why do you have the power to transform too? Why did you tell Anna only I could do it?"

There was no answer.

"You knew, didn't you? You knew all of this stuff and kept it from me. You even knew how to put me in and out of that void-like state too, didn't you?"

Still, no answer.

"You've been lying to me this entire time. I knew it was too convenient when I 'woke' up from there. It was all you this entire time. I thought you said you were here to help me?"

_"I am."_

"The only thing you've done to me is shown me how much of a fool I have been. I never should have let you help me in the first place."

_"You never would have made it without me."_

"Maybe, maybe not, but at least I wouldn't have lost control to you."

_"You never had any control in the first place."_

Elsa looked over her shoulder and smirked. "Oh yeah? Look at this place. It would have been frozen right now, but I learned to control my powers. _Before_ I met you."

Elle's laughter rung through Elsa's head. _"You call that control?"_

Elsa hadn't thought she could ever hate a part of herself so much. "Who even are you?"

_"I am Elsa."_

Elsa was sure of one thing. This wasn't her.

"I don't know what you're planning on, but you took it too far. I made a mistake asking for your help and trusting you. I don't need you anymore." It was in the heat of the moment, but she knew she didn't want to talk to Elle ever again.

 _"Your world will crumble without me."_ Elle's tone had been flat the entire time but Elsa knew there was a threat behind those words.

"It's worse with you."

_"Except I am actually keeping your world together. For you."_

"That's the problem. This isn't your world. It's mine. Thank you for showing me my mistake, but your usefulness is now up."

_"Don't do this, Elsa. You need me."_

Elsa wondered if Elle would beg. "I can handle this myself."

_"You can't. You were falling apart before you finally embraced me. Don't make the same mistake again."_

"I can and I will. If what you say is true and you really are me, then I'll be able to handle this just as well as you can."

_"Ah, I see your logic, but yet you fail to grasp how worthless you are. You need me."_

"I don't. In fact, I want you to leave me alone. I will never transform myself again and I will never acknowledge your existence. You spent twenty one years without showing yourself, go back to doing it."

There was no immediate response. Elsa took a moment to look at herself, to actually look at herself in her reflection. She was proud of what she was seeing, it reminded her of herself before meeting Elle. Confidence and the bearing of the beautiful young queen she was. She was still distraught, even downright scared though. Elle's actions had been a wake-up call and their current argument raised Elsa's uncertainty ever more so, but she wasn't going to let that get to her.

Elle was downright dangerous. Elsa was going to have to do something about it, she had too.

_Maybe I should go see Grand Pabbie, like I should have done originally._

Elsa mentally berated herself for being such a fool before. She had made the exact same mistake she had made during her coronation and it was the fear of losing control to Elle that made her realize it. Instead of facing her problems, she still ran from them. Elsa still wasn't sure how she was going to face them, but right she had more important things to deal with. Her other self.

Yet when her other self finally spoke, Elsa had a sinking feeling of dread. _"Elsa, please think this through,"_ Elle finally said, her voice flat and monotone, lacking the normal cockiness characteristic of Elle completely.

Elsa deeply into her reflection, as if looking for some sign of Elle with her own eyes.

"Get out. Leave me alone."

 _"You need me."_ There was a twinge of desperation in the way Elle spoke.

"Leave me alone," Elsa repeated louder.

 _"You need me,"_ Elle echoed within Elsa's head.

"Leave me alone," Elsa continued to repeat, over and over, louder and louder.

Elle's voice grew louder too, shriller, and with a deeper sense of desperation. Elsa covered her ears as her other self's cries grew worse. She dropped to her knees, eyes shut tightly.

"Leave me alone!" Elsa screamed at the top of her lungs one final time and collapsed into a mound of snow.

It was quiet. The voices had stopped. Elsa sat up and surveyed her room. Her powers had let go during the confrontation, a blanket of snow had exploded from where she stood. Ice had crawled up the walls. Elsa scooped up some of the powder and let it fall through her fingertips.

_Is she gone?_

A few minutes of silence passed by while Elsa played with the snow. She finally smiled and thawed the room. She was gone and tomorrow was going to be a new day.

* * *

Anna collapsed face first onto her bed as soon as she returned to her room. Another night, another 'session', and another date with 'Elsa' while the real Elsa was oblivious to it all.

Her relationship with Elle had been progressing. A few nights ago they finally kissed. It was Anna's first (romantic) kiss with another girl. It was amazing and as Anna had expected, a lot better than kissing a boy. Softer, gentler, and even more breathe-taking. The fact that it was with her own sister too was exhilarating. It was also disappointing though because it really wasn't with her true sister. Anna wanted to share that kiss with her sister, Elsa, not Elle.

Elle was not Elsa and every attempt by Anna at trying to supplement the one for the other was met with failure. Cuddling and making out with Elle was fine, hot even, but it wasn't Elsa. Anna had fallen for Elsa and no amount of Elle was going to change that.

Anna sighed. Her time fulfilling her fantasies with Elle had taught her a few things. For one, there was no one who would ever be a good replacement for Elsa. Secondly, Anna realized her incestuous love wasn't just some kind of sickness. It was too real, the emotions were too strong. There was no possible way there was something wrong with Anna.

_I think the real problem is with, Elsa._

Anna burst out laughing.

"Look at me, now I'm accusing Elsa of being in the wrong because she isn't in love with her sister. I think Elle is corrupting me," Anna mused to herself.

That wasn't a far off assumption either. No matter how hard Elle tried to be lovey-dovey with Anna, she still couldn't hide that malicious aura she gave off. The longer Anna spent with her, the more obvious it became.

To be honest, it scared Anna a little. She lacked empathy and cared little for others. Anna was the exception, but it became noticeable when they talked about things or during the few times they encountered a staff member during their dates. She was also incredibly cut-throat in her dealings and always got her way from what Anna heard too. What Anna didn't witness directly, she pieced together from rumors and stories of 'Elsa's' governance. Anna knew the rumors and stories were really about Elle now that Elsa had given her almost virtual control over the crown.

_Elsa._

Elsa almost didn't exist anymore. When she wasn't sleeping, she was Elle. Anna barely saw her sister anymore. She had thought Elsa was in a slump and just needed some time. Time wasn't fixing anything though.

Anna rolled over and hugged her pillow. She was worried about her sister. Now that she was beginning to understand who Elle really was, Anna grew paranoid of what was really going on between those two. She could totally see Elle bullying Elsa into submission. It wasn't as farfetched of an idea now as it was a few weeks ago.

Anna rolled over again to face her ceiling.

_Elsa._

Anna missed Elsa too much.

"I need to dump Elle." Anna wasn't surprised when she blurted that out. It really was a decision several days in the making, one that had to fight hard against the idea of Elle's soft, delectable lips. Anna loved her dates, but she was loving them less and less. She needed Elsa and Anna was beginning to suspect that Elsa needed her even more. She was going to bring Elsa back to the world of the living, back in control of _her_ kingdom, and back into Anna's life.

Anna couldn't ignore her desires for Elsa, but she'd be damned if she let them continue living like this. Anna shot up from her bed, rejuvenated by a surge of confidence.

"I'm going to put my feelings aside and fix this. Forget what happened in the past, we'll fix that later. Right now I need to get Elsa back to normal. Thinking about it now though, I guess dating Elle really did help me get over my feelings for Elsa. At least enough for me to put them aside to help Elsa."

_Though I really doubt Elle is bullying my sister into submission. She can't be that bad and Elsa is stronger than that. Right?_

Anna wanted to believe that. She really did want to, but here she was making this decision, partially out of worry for Elsa.

"Alright, Elsa, we're going to get you back to normal. First I have to break it up with Elle though."

Before falling asleep, Anna decided she was going to do it the next night during their nightly session. It was going to be the last time Anna asked Elsa to transform herself into Elle.

* * *

It was a fantastic day. It was already the afternoon and the day had gone by fine. There had been no signs of Elle and most importantly, Elsa was finally content. Elsa did have to cancel all of her meetings though. She would have to think up an explanation as to why her hair had suddenly grown back for those who didn't know about Elle. In the meantime, Elsa had to catch herself back up with ruling the kingdom, since Elle had been in charge of that up to this point.

It would have been easier with some kind of turnover rather than this abrupt transition, but Elsa still managed. Throughout the day of catching up, she discovered what kind of ruler Elle had really been during Elsa's absence. It was safe for Elsa to assume that Elle had quickly became a poor representation of Elsa's will. Elsa didn't let that get to her, things were different now and she was going to make up for her other self's harsh leadership.

"Is that all, your majesty?" Kai asked. She couldn't have done it without his help of course.

"Thank you, Kai, I think I am caught up to the present. I appreciate your help, I really do, but that will be all for today," Elsa responded.

Kai was gleaming, just happy to finally have his queen back. "Does your sister know about this?" he had to ask, hopeful.

"I'm afraid not." Elsa grinned, because she couldn't wait until she did. "I never got a chance, she had to leave early to go into town."

"Ah, yes, even the princess has her own duties to attend to once in a blue moon. What an unfortunate case of fate. I'm sure she will be happy to hear the news."

"Yes, I think she would. Actually, Kai, there is one thing you can do for me. When my sister returns later tonight, please have her come to my room right away."

"Very well, your majesty. I'm glad to have you back."

"I am too."

"Though I'm still curious what kind of lie you're going to tell the council when you finally decide to face them again," he wondered with a smile.

Elsa tugged at her long braid. "I'll think of something." She was ready to simply lop it off and be done with it, but she knew Anna wouldn't appreciate that.

Speaking of which, Elsa couldn't wait to face Anna later that night and tell her the news. Elsa knew Anna was going to be thrilled to hear it and Elsa was even already thinking up plans to spend the entire day with her tomorrow.

Elsa wrapped up her work and headed off to dinner. On the way, she passed a familiar servant in the halls. Elsa recognized her as the one from a few weeks ago, the one Elle had flipped out on. Elsa smiled at her as she passed. The young woman stopped and stared at Elsa in shock. Elsa giggled and continued on.

She hadn't been the first person that day who saw Elsa with her normal look rather than Elle's. As the days dragged on, only a select few servants like Kai knew about Elsa's secret and only they saw Elsa as Elsa. Everyone else, the counselors and the more common staff saw Elsa as Elle to avoid anyone from wondering why Elsa's hair kept growing back so fast. Until today that is. No doubt the rumors would start spreading that Elsa's hair was back to its normal length. She figured the most common speculation would be that Elsa had a double. Since Elle had been doing most of the official work, they would probably think the real Elsa was the double.

_Oh well, that's a problem I have to face when it comes up. I suppose my magic is a good scapegoat I can use, I could always just tell them I have the ability to alter my hairstyle through magic._

Elsa continued to speculate on the wild rumors that would spread about her change in appearance throughout diner. She was glad the royal family's meal was an extremely private affair – a leftover policy from her childhood – since Elsa burst out laughing several times during the meal.

Finally she retired to her bedroom to await Anna's return. Several minutes passed and Elsa realized she wasn't sure when Anna was supposed to be back.

_I suppose I could use this time to practice with my powers. Let's see..._

Elsa hadn't even used her powers all today. She had chosen from her real wardrobe today and hadn't had time to use her powers. Not even to create a cooling breeze.

Elsa looked down at her hands suddenly. She was right, her magic hadn't made a single appearance all day. Sometimes that was a good thing, but ever since the thaw, Elsa usually used her powers daily, even if it meant the smallest of things done unconsciously.

"Odd," she whispered to herself.

Elsa held out her hand with the intention of creating a snowflake. Nothing happened. She pulled back her hand to her chest.

"What the...?"

A knock on the door interrupted Elsa. She recognized it instantly.

Forgetting what had just happened, Elsa glided towards the door with growing excitement. She still hadn't told Anna.

* * *

"Anna!"

The door flew open without warning, catching Anna completely off guard.

"Elsa!"

Anna moved through the open door quickly, as if scared it was going to close on her if she wasn't fast enough.

"Anna, it's so good to see you," Elsa exclaimed, closing the door behind them.

_She sure is sprightly tonight._

"Did you enjoy your time out in town?" Elsa asked.

"Oh, yes," Anna answered. "I even managed to find Olaf wandering about and brought him back."

"Really? That's great. He's been missing for a while now. I'm glad he's alright."

"A few weeks actually," Anna pointed out. Olaf had wandered off around the time Anna had made her confession to Elsa as he often did. Sometimes he wandered back, other times they had to go look for him, but it was usually no big deal. Unfortunately, Elsa and Anna had both been too caught up in things around that time that they had never had the chance to go looking for him. Anna had really wished he had been there, at least as someone that Anna could vent to who wouldn't judge her. She was glad to finally have him back.

"Where has he been?"

"Up at the North Mountain with Marshmallow and the gang supposedly," Anna responded. "I left him downstairs after Kai told me you wanted to see me."

"The North Mountain? We haven't been up there in a while. We should go tomorrow," Elsa suggested with enthusiasm.  
_  
Tomorrow? How...unexpected._ Her sister seemed different, a good different.

"Yeah, I suppose. Oh, so how was your day?"

"Just wonderful," Elsa answered readily, it was much unlike how she had been acting the last few weeks. A broad smile had broken over her sister's face, she seemed to radiate a warmth that Anna couldn't help to adore. This was the Elsa she had fallen in love with.

_Elsa, what has gotten into you? You seem totally...normal._

Anna cocked her head to the side as she watched her sister. Elsa was definitely acting differently...well, normally actually. She hated that she had to dampen her good mood now.

"Listen, Elsa," Anna began.

"I have something to tell you," Elsa said at the same time.

They both laughed. "You go first, Anna."

She didn't hesitate, no use beating around the bush, better to get it over with quickly. "I want to stop holding these sessions."

"Huh? Really? Why?" Elsa asked, more curious than surprised.

Anna shrugged her shoulders, she didn't want to get into all the details. "I think we should just put this whole mess behind us to be honest."

Elsa stared at her with her mouth agape. Anna expected some kind of resistance from Elsa, in the form of Elsa caring about Anna's well-being or appeasing to her feelings before on how she wanted more sessions.

"Okay." She didn't expect Elsa to agree so easily.

"Okay?" Anna repeated.

"Yes, okay. I agree with you. Actually, Anna, I was-"

"Wait," Anna interrupted, "hold that thought. I need to do something first that I've been waiting to do all day. I need you to transform into Elle for me."

Elsa's face fell. "No," she stated bluntly.

"No?"

"Yes, Anna, no. I was trying to tell you, I won't be changing into her anymore."

_Is that why she agreed to ending the sessions so easily? But what's her reasoning..._

Anna didn't dwell on that thought very long. "Okay, that's fine, but I just need you to do it this one time. Please, Elsa. It'll be real quick."

"Why?"

Anna couldn't tell her the truth, but she didn't want to cut off Elle just like that. She wanted to end it right so they were both on the same page.

"I just need to tell her something really important. It will be the last time, I swear." She would be sure to tell Elsa in time.

"What could possibly be that important?"

"It's...it just is. Please just trust me, Elsa," Anna begged, folding her hands out in front of her face and pouting.

"I-I can't," Elsa admitted.

"Elsa, what happened?" Anna asked, suddenly concerned. Elsa had been acting strangely and now she wouldn't transform into Elle. Something must have happened.

"Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to spend time with you."

"And you will, but I just needed to tell Elle something real quick. It will only take a few minutes, then you can come back and never have to do it again." Anna continued to insist, now that Elsa assured her nothing had happened.

Elsa folded her arms around body. "Do you promise?" she asked.

"I promise," Anna assured her.

Elsa nodded and looked away somberly. A strange feeling started to form at the bottom of her stomach that gave Anna second thoughts. She had been waiting all day to break it off with Elle that it had been the only thing on her mind, however it was only just now that she realized how disturbed the request had made Elsa.

_Maybe I shouldn't have pushed it._

Unfortunately, it was too late for Anna to change her mind. She wondered if there was something Elsa didn't want to reveal just like she had.

* * *

Elsa had folded to Anna's request so easily. She was a little disgusted with herself for it, it was the last thing Elsa wanted to do right now, but Elsa couldn't resist Anna's charm or deny her sister anything. Besides, Anna promised it would only be for a few minutes. Elsa could handle that. She would be in and out and back with Anna in no time. Maybe this time Anna would actually be a little more excited about Elsa's news once she got back.

As Elsa started the transformation process, she briefly remembered that there had been something wrong with her powers. Yet the magic started swirling around her anyway.

_In and out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my two beta readers. Mig and Road.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	11. Chapter 11

"Anna, what a pleasant surprise," Elle greeted after the transformation was completed.

"Hey, Elle." She would only be a few minutes, just like she promised Elsa.

"This is an unexpected development."

"Huh?"

"Oh, it's nothing, dear."

_Great, this again._ Anna could never grow accustomed to Elle giving her a difficult time.

Elle took a seat on Elsa's bed and motioned for Anna to join her.

"Elle, I really appreciate all that you've done for me...and with me," she added as she took a seat. "But, I don't think we can do this anymore."

Elle smirked. "Is that so? I take it Elsa has gotten to you first?" she insinuated.

"What? No, this was my own decision." Anna remembered what Elsa had said to her a few minutes early about Elle. "This has nothing to do with that," she pointed out, assuming Elle already knew about Elsa's plans to stop transforming.

"Just a coincidence?" Elle's eyes seem to bore right through her.

"Seriously, what has gotten into you two?" _Or you specifically._ She could feel a slight unease starting in the pit of stomach. Despite certain intimate acts with Elle she never felt fully comfortable around her.

"Let's just say we had a falling out."

"You had a falling out with yourself?" Anna was incredulous of that fact, but stranger things had occurred.

"This is no laughing matter, Anna. Don't you know your life is in danger?"

Anna raised an eyebrow, wondering what that possibly had to do with anything. "How so?"

"Elsa, _her_ , is neglecting her duties as your sister," Elle declared.

_That doesn't answer my question._ "Funny you should say that, Elsa just said we will be spending more time together."

"You mean she's just running from her issues again?"

"Which issues?" Anna made a face, she couldn't seem to follow Elle's thought patterns.

"You."

"I'm an 'issue' now?" Anna made a doubtful expression.

"No, the issue is that you love her and she doesn't love you back," Elle corrected.

"Uhm, that's not an issue." Well, when Elle put it like that, Anna wasn't so sure.

"Isn't it?"

Anna hesitated. Elle was right. "Y-you still haven't explained what this has to do with me being in danger."

"Instead of facing her problems, she runs from them. That is her greatest weakness and it will lead to both of our demise."

"I think you're just being a little dramatic, Elle."

"I hate that name," Elle said bitter and somberly, staring off at something unseen before continuing, "and I'm not being dramatic. You are precious to me, Anna."

"Why are you so hard on Elsa?" Anna asked, curious.

"She's not worthy of you or this crown." Elle hadn't hesitated to answer.

"Hey, that's my sister." Anna was quick to defend.

"I am your sister."

"Are you?" she countered back. Elle might've looked exactly like Elsa and shared entities with her, but that didn't make her Elsa. Elle was not her sister.

"We've been over this, dear." There was never any emotion in Elle's voice, but Anna could sense the threat just beneath the surface.

"Stop calling me that." There was a bite in her tone. Anna crossed her arms.

"Stop calling me _Elle_ ," she snapped angrily, practically spitting the name. "I absolutely despise that name."

"If you really had a problem with it, you should have said something."

"I was trying to make you happy."

"And what about now?"

"You said 'we can't do this anymore'."

_Oh, right, almost forgot._ Anna hated that Elle had pointed that out, she tried not to show it. "Yes, about that. I really appreciate all you have done, but we need to put an end to it. The relationship and the sessions."

"What a shame, and I was enjoying myself, too," Elle sighed. "I know you were. I take it you'll be continuing with the 'real Elsa', then?" she asked as if she already knew the answer. No, she definitely knew the answer, she said so earlier.

"Well, n-no," Anna stammered.

"No? What a shame. What a pitiful creature to deny you her love. That Elsa disgusts me."

"This isn't about her," Anna replied heatedly, growing more and more annoyed.

"That's what you keep saying and yet she continues to ignore your feelings." Elle stared at her as she said that. But she looked away, unable to handle the intensity.

"I don't have to force her to be my lover."

"Any why not? After everything you've done for her? After the things you put up with for her? After the lies you've lived to protect her? After you've died for her? She's an ungrateful, selfish brat who thinks she can get by life by locking up her problems and pretending they don't exist. If she cared about you at all, she'd consider how you feel. Instead she makes promises to change that are nothing but excuses to buy her more time."

Anna stared at Elle, mouth agape and speechless, even as Elle balled her fists and stood up to pace the room to continue her rant.

"What happens when they come back to haunt her? Your feelings will come back, Anna, even stronger. What then? And when her workload builds up again and tires her out? You've seen what happened this time, are you ready to watch it happen again and again? Do you expect me to be there every time to hold her hand? And when a real crisis emerges? Will she flee to her ice palace or make a stand? I know what you'd do, and that's why I admire you, but her...she is nothing like you or me."

"You're wrong," Anna objected. There was a hint of truth to what Elle said but she knew the parts that weren't and that's what made it fall apart.

Elle fell back into her spot on the bed, ignoring Anna's opposition. "And worst of all, she was born with a great gift, yet chooses to treat it as a curse," Elle remarked.

"Curse? Elsa loves her powers..."

Elle grinned and cut Anna off. "You have no idea."

Silence. Anna narrowed her eyes at Elle, partially disgusted at Elle for how she treated Elsa and partially disgusted at herself for sticking with her for so long. More silence followed. Anna had already forgotten about her promise to Elsa.

If these are things Elsa has to listen to daily...no wonder why she's been acting the way she was. I couldn't have picked the worst time to confess my feelings for her, but this girl is such a bully. She couldn't possibly be my sister or even related to her.

Anna remembered a similar, but toned-down conversation the first time she had talked to Elle. Back then though, Elsa seemed to like Elle. She even entrusted her with the management of the kingdom. How was Anna supposed to know Elsa was probably being...manipulated by her own self?

Anna should have known. She had been too caught up in her own love-struck fantasy that she had failed to notice.

_I can't let her remain inside Elsa's head. How do I...the trolls, that's it...seriously, why didn't we do that sooner? Well, whatever...wait, why am I even still with her?_

Anna was ready to say her final goodbyes, but Elle beat her to it.

"I guess it can't be helped. I love you so much, Anna, I don't want to let you go." She reached over and grabbed Anna's hand.

After witnessing Elle's outburst earlier, Anna hadn't expected her to be so gentle.

"I can't imagine a world without you," she cooed.

"E-Elle?"

Elle giggled, it seemed so uncharacteristic of her. "I'll let you get away with that. Just for tonight," she said with a wink. Elle began to lean forward.

Anna tried leaning back, but Elle caught her and allowed their lips to meet. It wasn't her first kiss with Elle, but it still caught her off guard. Maybe it wasn't her sister, but it was still Elsa's body.

_But..._

Elle pulled away, her half-lidded eyes bored into Anna's own. "Tonight," she said.

"Tonight?"

"Yes, Anna, tonight we go all the way."

"Wait, what?"

"Come on, Anna, don't you want this?" Elle pulled Anna close, so close that Anna could feel Elle's heartbeat through her chest.

_Of course I want this, but Elsa..._

Elle was so warm though and it was something Anna had wanted for so long.

"I can make you feel so good," Elle whispered into Anna's ear.

"Oh..." She could feel a shiver go through her body, and it wasn't out of fear.

Elle's tongue ghosted across the shell of Anna's ear. Anna pulled back with a shriek. She had to remember what was really important.

"Wait, hold on, Elle."

Elle was already crawling across the bed towards Anna. She tried to get up, but Elle quickly crawled on top of her, pinning Anna to the bed.

"Don't you want this, Anna?" Elle cooed as she ran her hand up Anna's side.

Anna's face had turned bright red. "Uh, I-I-I'm not sure if I'm ready," she stammered.

"Shhh," Elle shushed with a finger on Anna's lips. Her look was nothing short of predatory. "No more words."

Anna used all her strength to push Elle off in one motion and rolled off to the side. "You're not Elsa!" she screamed.

"Oh, bother, I suppose we'll have to do something about that," Elle jested as she sat up.

Anna hadn't thought about the meaning of that statement as she clamored off the bed.

"You're not Elsa and you will never be!" Anna declared.

"Geez, why did she have to wear real clothes today," Elle wondered aloud, tugging at the collar of the confining clothing in question. "Oh, right," she added under her breath with a smirk.

"I want Elsa..." Anna trailed off as Elle began to strip. She was losing her own inner battle. Anna covered her eyes with the palm of her hand. "Uhm, what are you doing?"

"I'm getting ready for tonight."

Anna's breathing hitched. _She really does want to go all the way._ Anna peaked her eyes out from behind her hand. Elle was still removing clothing. She smirked as she watched Elle struggle with Elsa's corset.

"Anna," Elle spoke. Anna quickly hid her eyes again. "Don't you at least want to experience this before it becomes just a fantasy again?"

Anna gulped. _Y-yes._ Anna remained silent though.

"Come on, Anna, at least do this for yourself," Elle finally spoke again. Anna removed her hand and gasped. Elle was already moving towards her, naked.

Anna took a step back. Elle reached out and took her hand away.

"Come on, Anna. Just this once," Elle pouted.

Anna couldn't resist, not when Elle placed Anna's hand on her bare chest, right over her heart. Anna shut her eyes tightly.

"Come on, Anna, you can at least look." Anna obeyed. It was still Elsa's body after all. The one she fantasized about. "Like what you see?"

Anna nodded without thinking. Elle pulled Anna's hand away from her heart and down her bare torso. Anna kept her eyes fixated on Elle's own as her hand was dragged down, farther and farther. She let her wrist go limp, she knew where it was headed. Her knees wobbled and her legs felt like jello as she felt her hand pass a small bundle of hairs, then get pressed into something warm and moist.

"Oh, God," she ushered. Elle's smirk grew. Suddenly, Anna was yanked towards Elle and into her arms. Anna chocked as Elle's thigh pressed hard into her crotch. Pleasure spasmed throughout her body and she nearly collapsed.

"Elle, please..." Anna whimpered. She had wanted to say stop, but she was at a loss for words. Not to mention she wasn't even sure if she would have meant it.

Elle started pulling Anna by the hand towards the bed. She offered no resistance.

This was what Anna had dreamed of after all. She would never get this chance ever again for the rest of her life. This was her only opportunity. To give in to her desires once and for all.

It still wasn't Elsa though. It was someone – something – different. But did that really matter? She had her sister's body still.

Anna struggled for a decision, even as Elle laid her down onto the bed and began to undress her. Even as she ran her own hands up and down Elle's bare sides, Anna was frozen with indecision.

_Elsa would never know. You would never have to wonder what it would be like. You wouldn't have to spend every day knowing it was an unattainable dream._

Anna looked up, back to reality. Elle was sitting over her naked body, grinning down at her. She squirmed a little, pink rising to her cheeks at realizing how disgustingly wet she had become between her legs and how exposed she was to Elle. She pressed her legs together hard, but it only spurred Elle into placing her hands between her thighs to coax them apart again.

Anna let her eyes roam over Elle's body one more time before making her decision. With a sigh, Anna relaxed and spread her legs.

As Elle entered her, Anna fell into bliss.

* * *

 

Darkness. Elsa hated this darkness now. It was neither calming nor relaxing. It was like it was the first time Elsa had gone there. Unknown and terrifying. Unending.

Unending. That's what it felt like waiting for Anna to ask her to come back. Had a few minutes passed by yet? It was so hard for Elsa to tell time in this state. It felt like she was there for several minutes now, longer than Anna had promised, but it could have been only seconds. Or hours. Or eternity.

_I wonder if this is what eternity feels like._

It didn't surprise Elsa that her other self wanted out of this. It was awful. Elsa didn't feel any remorse for her either though.

Deep down she was terrified that Elle would try something while Elsa was trapped here, but she had her doubts that she would actually do anything. Anna could handle herself.

_I should have never left Anna alone like that though. I know that's what she wanted, but...but I'm the Queen and her older sister. This was a mistake. I'm sorry Anna, I should never have listened to you this time._

Elsa could not wait until she came back. She just wasn't sure how that was going to work out, something Elsa hadn't thought of until too late. If Elle refused to transform back when Anna asked her, how was Elsa supposed to know when to come back? If Elle did that, Elsa would never even realize it. Of course Elsa could just transform back whenever she wanted, but she had no idea when she should. Waiting too long could be disastrous. Doing it too early would only piss off Anna, so she thought. Elsa desperately wished this place had a clock. She wasn't even sure if the concept of time even existed here.

At least she had a general feeling of what was going on in the outside world. Her body, Elle, was with Anna. Through some unexplainable force – call it a gut feeling for all it mattered –she could tell that much. It was the same as it always was when Elle and Anna were together. Just a general feeling that they were together and Anna was happy. It was no less vague than that.

Elsa waited and waited. She waited some more.

_How long has it been? Hours? Days? Years?_

Something strange was beginning to happen now. She could feel it, but couldn't place her finger on it. The feeling of Anna's presence was beginning to change.

_Is something happening?_

Elsa had no idea what she was feeling. Whatever it was, it caused her heartrate to spike. Technically she had no heartbeat, but that's what it felt like. And maybe warmth. Yes, warmth.

_Maybe these feelings are possible through some kind of bond. But a bond with who?_

She shared a body with Elle, but it felt more like she was sharing a bond with her sister rather than Elle.

What felt like a few minutes passed by and Elsa suddenly remembered that something was actually happening. She didn't know what, but something was.

_What am I still here for? I'm coming home, Anna._

Elsa willed herself back, like she had the first time, but nothing happened. She tried again. Nothing happened again. It felt like something, like a weightless force, was holding her back. Elsa tried again and again. The force held, but was beginning to budge.

"Oh, Elsa!"

Elsa paused at the faint moan that assaulted her ears. It sounded like Anna's voice, but sounded so...

Elsa pushed harder. Faint light began to replace the darkness. With one more push, Elsa broke back to reality.

She had made it back.

Something was off though. Elsa found herself on her stomach and naked. Then there was the odd taste in her mouth. It was something completely unrecognizable and a little unpleasant. She licked her lips, coming back with a sticky substance with the same taste that had begun to drip down to her chin. Her fingers felt coated in a similar sticky substance. There was also the smell. Not foul, but different.

Elsa's vision began to return but she continued to blink away. _What the heck am I looking at here?_

Her eyes darted left, then right. The object directly in front of her was still unrecognizable. She blinked a few more times.

_Wait, legs?_

Her eyes settled back to the middle.

_Is...is that what I think it is?_

"Oh God, Elle, why did you stop?" came a sultry voice above her.

Elsa lifted her head towards the source of the voice and the heavy panting she was beginning to hear. She found herself looking up the freckled landscape of a female body.

"Elle?"

Elsa found her sister's face looking back at her.

"E-Elsa?" she whispered.

_No._

"Oh God, no," Anna breathed once the realization had hit her.

_No._

Elsa looked below her, at her sister's wet cunt. _The taste._

"Elsa, I can explain," Anna quickly exclaimed as Elsa flew off the bed. She stumbled away before falling to knees. Bile rushed up her esophagus and Elsa let it out. She welcomed the vile aftertaste of hurling considered what had previously been there.

"Elsa, please," Anna pleaded, already in tears. Elsa couldn't hear anything over her rage. Her betrayal.

"Is this what you have been doing?!" Elsa screamed, her own tears falling freely too.

Anna hopped off the bed with a sheet to cover her body. "Elsa's please listen, it's-"

"You've put me through this torment so you could fuck her behind my back?" Elsa continued, cutting off and ignoring Anna's attempt at an explanation.

"Elsa, just listen to me, please."

"No, you lied to me. You abandoned me for her. I will _never_ love you like that, Anna. _Never_."

"Elsa, please don't," Anna cried.

"You're sick, Anna. J-just get away from me!"

Anna sobbed and ran. Elsa didn't bother to watch her leave, but she heard the door slam shut. She doubled over and puked again.

"I had sex with her..." Elsa whimpered. "With my sister. My little sister. Oh God, Anna, why? What have I done to you?"

Elsa yanked at her hair as the images and senses refused to leave her mind. Her hands came back with clumps of hair stuck to her hands from her sister's fluids. Elsa gagged and wiped her hands furiously on the rug.

"Why, Anna? Why?"

She had slept with Anna and who knows how many times before that. She had ruined her sister's purity and committed the horrible act of incest. Worst of all, she had been betrayed. Anna had betrayed Elsa for her other self.

Elsa curled herself into a ball and sobbed.

Anna simply loved Elle more. It had to be it. Granted, Elsa didn't want Anna to love her like this, but in reality she was jealous. There was no other reason for Anna to lie and betray her like this. She wished she had never came back in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my two beta readers, Mig and Road.
> 
> Just wanted to point out that the next update will be a longer ways away. I had been focusing on finishing Anna the Sorceress. For those who do read that, I was actually hoping to have it out this weekend and be early for once. Unfortunately something came up and it will be delayed, but it will be worth the wait because I decided to expand the ending.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	12. Chapter 12

A long time had passed since Anna left before Elsa dared to speak.

"Why? Why would you do this?" she finally asked. She knew she was listening. She _knew_ she was listening, but there was still no answer.

Elsa could practically see her other self smirking within her head.

Frustrated with waiting, she decided to ignore her. She willed herself to her feet and tried covering her naked body with her powers. It didn't work. She tried again frantically, bringing herself back to tears as she tried to hide her body. Vaguely she wondered why it was so difficult. Although it finally worked, it wasn't the outfit she had imagined.

It finally clicked what was going on. With a wail, Elsa dropped back to her knees and cursed Elle.

"Get out of my head!" Elsa screamed, grabbing her head and pulling at her hair. The only answer she received was a wicked laugh that sent a chill down her spine.

 _"Elsa..."_ Elsa froze at the mention of her name.

 _"Just look at yourself."_ Elle's tone was cruel and condescending, Elsa could feel the malice in her words. A mirror made of ice materialized before Elsa's very eyes. She looked into it, but quickly averted her eyes the moment she spotted the image of herself reflected back. She looked nothing like Queen Elsa of Arendelle.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she cried.

 _"You were never there for me,"_ Elle spat, the true emotion finally coming to the surface for everyone to see clearly. _"You never loved me, you never embraced me."_ There was a sigh. _"You were so useless as Elsa."_

"I never even knew you existed. Please, leave me alone," Elsa begged.

 _"I was always with you!"_ Elle screamed. This explosion of built up emotions frightened Elsa. The feeling of betrayal ran deep. The voice was only in her head, but it had been so loud that Elsa cowered. _"I've been a part of you since we were born. But you ruined everything."_

 _"Please, I've never done anything to you. Please, just stop. You've already taken everything I have left. Please..."_ Elsa's plea dropped down to a whisper as she watched her tears fall to the floor. Ice was spreading across the floor from her body. It wasn't her who was doing it though, just like the mirror and the ice dress.

_Why is she doing this to me?_

_"Because of what you did to me,"_ Elle answered. Elsa's breathing stopped and her eyes flew open wide. Not even her thoughts were safe anymore. She grabbed her head again and sunk further into despair.

 _"It was you who caused me to hurt Anna. Then you blamed me and tried to repress me. To pretend I didn't even exist! You wanted to get rid of me. You wished I was never a part of you. You never appreciated what I was. I was only a curse to you,"_ Elle spat each accusation out like poison.

But in her despair, Elsa barely registered the words her other self was saying. It was only when she heard the word 'curse' that she finally snapped back to attention.

 _"You can't get rid of me,"_ she continued. _"I'll always be a part of you, just like your physical body. I am you. I am Elsa. But you are not Elsa. Not anymore."_

Elsa's sobbing calmed as she took in Elle's words.

There was another wicked laugh. _"But don't worry, your plan backfired. By repressing me, you only made me stronger. I tried my best to come back. I was getting nowhere, we were growing further and further apart too. Your emotions, your fears, your despair; it only continued to separate us. And then you decided to embrace me. It was..." There was a pause. "...a relief. You had finally embraced me after all."_ There was a hint of excitement and exaltation in the way Elle had said it, but that quickly disappeared. _"But it was too late. There was no going back at that point. We already on different paths. But you did give me the final push I needed to make my move."_

Elsa continued to fail to grasp the meaning behind Elle's words. She couldn't fathom what she was talking about.

 _"Ever since then I've been growing stronger and stronger. You've helped me greatly along the way. I appreciate that, but it's time to move on."_ Elle stopped at that as if waiting for Elsa to ask her to continue.

"What are you planning?" Elsa asked, now more out of curiosity than fear or despair.

 _"To take over. You have failed as Elsa. Now it's my turn to take over. As she should be."_ Elsa could hear the smug triumph in her voice.

"What are you?" she whispered.

_"Haven't you realized this yet? That part of you that you've always hated the most."_

Elsa had to stop to think about that. _What do I hate most about myself? My fear?_

 _"No silly, that's what I hate most about you,"_ her other self answered the unspoken question.

_Then..._

Elsa had been staring at the ice coated floor. Her eyes flicked to the ice mirror in front of her. The reflection that showed her wearing a dress made out of ice.

Realization hit Elsa. Of course her words had made no sense because it only made no sense if Elsa had been thinking of Elle as a person. Elle had never been a person.

_"It doesn't matter what I am. I will be Elsa now."_

"No!" Elsa commanded, suddenly regaining some control and came to her feet, standing strong.

_"It's too late."_

There was a tone of finality to Elle's words. Elsa spotted the telltale flurry of magic forming at her feet. Using all her willpower and strength she could muster, Elsa fought back.

 _"Why do you struggle? You couldn't possibly resist me."_ And yet, the flurry of magic slowed as it passed Elsa's knees. They were still her powers after all. As if on cue, the skin of her covered legs began to sting horribly as they were assaulted by subzero temperatures. Not even her affinity to the cold was protecting Elsa from the full power of her powers. She began to shiver uncontrollably, her body shaking and her teeth chattering. Elle was throwing her full power into this.

Despite it all, Elsa somehow managed to produce a slight grin. The magic had stopped completely at her hips. She could almost feel it being pushed back too. Her mind was racing with all sorts of emotions, fear the strongest. It was both hurting her concentration and edging her on. The pain was excruciating too and she wondered if she would be able to come out of this without being horrible disfigured by frostbite to her lower body. At this point, she had lost all feeling in her legs, they could have been gone for all she knew. Elsa pushed the thoughts away to prevent them from causing her to panic. She suspected those thoughts were other self's doing and tried to think about anything else. The best thing that Elsa should've put her mind to was also the absolute worst. Anna.

_"Elsa, why even bother?"_

_Going for a direct approach I see? It won't work either._

_"What's the point?_

"Shut up!" Elsa demanded out loud, she had to concentrate. She was tired of her games. She was now even more determined to win this.

_"Even if you manage to stop me, how are you going to go back to Anna after what happened?"_

All of Elsa's efforts came to a screeching halt. The magic continued to swirl around her now unopposed. One simple question had destroyed Elsa's fight of willpower.

It was because Elle had been right. After what had happened, after what Elsa had said to her, there was no going back. Her relationship with Anna was unrecoverable. That wasn't entirely true, but with only seconds left, there was no point.

Elsa watched the flurry of magic swirl around her in the mirror. A single tear fell down Elsa's cheek and Elsa watched it fall until her vision blurred.

The cold came. It engulfed her completely. She shivered, but nothing came of it. There was nothing for her to shiver with. The blackness followed. It started at the corners of her field of vision, creeping along the blurry view of swirling ice and snow in which was providing her the only light in the coming darkness. As the darkness engulfed her completely, Elsa wondered why she couldn't have just loved Anna like that back.

* * *

The knock on the door startled Anna. She didn't expect her to come so soon.

There was no waiting for an answer. The door opened and quickly shut again without Anna's input.

"Go away, please," Anna ordered weakly, never removing her face from the now damp pillow that she had buried herself in earlier.

There was no response and Anna only heard her continuing closer.

"Elsa, please, just leave me alone." A new wave of tears struck Anna as Elsa continued coming towards her. She didn't want to deal with her right now. She couldn't do it. She couldn't even look at her sister. Anna gripped the pillow tighter.

Elsa climbed onto the bed and Anna sobbed harder. She flinched when she felt her sister lie practically on top of her and drape her arm across Anna's shuddering body, embracing her.

It quickly occurred to Anna that something was very off. How Elsa was reacting was not how Anna was expecting. After the things Elsa had said to her, Anna wasn't sure Elsa would ever speak to her again. Anna wasn't even sure what would happen at all between her and Elsa, but this was too unexpected.

"Shhhh," Elsa cooed. "It's going to be okay."

Feeling Elsa's warm body pressed against her and hearing her words made Anna tense. Her sobs died down quickly until she was only hiccupping into her pillow.

"Everything is going to be alright, Anna," she tried to reassure her again.

But something about that caused Anna to shudder.

"You will never have to worry about anything coming between us ever again. I will always love you. We will always have each other," Elsa continued, not seeming to notice Anna's reaction.

Anna let the words sink in. Her grip on the pillow tightened greatly.

"Elsa," Anna called out in a whisper before another sob escaped her lips and tears started flowing again. A minute early, Anna couldn't have faced her sister. Now she desperately wanted her more than anything. The girl laying in her bed was not her sister. She knew that for a fact.

"I'm right here, Anna," Elle answered. Anna knew that Elle knew she hadn't been calling out to her. She could see her smirking, no matter how tightly she closed her eyes.

Anna desperately wanted her sister back, but Elle's words replayed in her mind like a recurring nightmare with no escape.

_"You will never have to worry about anything coming between us ever again."_

It was obvious to Anna. Elsa was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my two beta readers, Mig and Road.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews.


	13. Chapter 13

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Arendelle had changed and the entire world had noticed. Queen Elsa had changed. In the coming weeks following Queen Elsa's decision to cut her hair scandalously short, something had happened to their beloved queen. No one had a clue what had happened though, but there had been a personality shift from the young queen so sudden that it took the entire world by surprise. Her dealings became ruthless, her actions cruel and aggressive. There was no compromise with domestic opponents. There were no negotiations with foreign powers. Queen Elsa got her way no matter what and she was not above using her powers to achieve her goals. It didn't take long for the world powers to realize that their best option was to simply leave her and her sphere of influence alone. The northern lands were considered the Snow Queen's territory from then on.

At home, the people were more attentive of another change within the royal family. Princess Anna had changed as well. Her bright outlook and animated personality had waned then disappeared almost overnight. She rarely left the castle. In fact she was almost never seen by the general public. People speculated and even questioned (and accused) her former boyfriend, but nothing came about it. Still, it was generally accepted that something had happened to the princess to cause such a drastic reversal with their new queen.

* * *

Anna spent her days alone and they dragged on miserably. She wasn't allowed outside the castle walls nor have contact with anyone outside the castle's small staff. Her days consisted of reading and dreaming of a better life. She usually ended up crying herself to sleep at the end of her days.

Unfortunately, Anna was far from alone. With the exception of a few hours a day, Anna spent almost every moment with _her_. That woman who had stolen everything from her. Every day she was tormented by her, physically and emotionally. Worse was her own torment though. Every day she awoke and blamed herself for what happened to Elsa. She blamed herself again when they went to bed. When _Elle_ forced herself on Anna at night, she only blamed herself more.

But the absolute worst was having to address the queen. Even speaking the words 'Elsa' to that devil made Anna break down. She was forbidden to ever call her 'Elle'. Anna had only made that mistake once.

When they were in public, that is to say the few staff members, councilors, or dignitaries who were permitted to see Anna, Elle treated Anna like a trophy wife. She made it obvious that Anna was hers without explicitly making it obvious they were in a relationship. Still it made those around them uncomfortable and Ella enjoyed the way they squirmed. Anna played her part by being as distant yet presentable as possible. She had grown tired of their sympathetic and sorrowful looks. She grew to hate them as much as Elle and her own self.

In private, Elle treated Anna like her lover...a lover that she would tease, belittle, and insult. Anna showed absolutely no affection back, but that never deterred Elle. In fact it seemed to spur her on. Anna made every effort to show that she didn't love Elle back, but Elle never seemed to care. Not when she found Anna sobbing during the day, not when Anna cried herself to sleep, and not even when Anna would lay limp while Elle was between her legs. She'd be calling Anna a useless spare one moment and coddling her and telling her that they were going to be together forever the next.

Despite it all, the princess still had a glimmer of hope left. After all, Elle had to have come from somewhere.

* * *

Anna followed her sister out of the council chambers sluggishly and without purpose. They had just met with representatives from the Duchy of Snoob, not that Anna had cared who they were or why they were there. Being their first meeting, the Queen had of course showed off her most precious possession which was the only reason why Anna had been there in the first place. It was a humiliating affair for Anna. She had no purpose of being there and everyone in the room knew it. Her sister acted as if she wasn't even there, a reminder to everyone that Anna was just the queen's play thing and nothing more. Anna tried shutting the conversations out, imagining being in the same situation, but with her real sister. They'd probably be making fun of the Duchy's name. It made Anna smile or at least it made her want to smile.

Queen Elsa stopped dead in her tracks once the pair had passed through the threshold of her office. Anna, distant as always, nearly ran into her from behind. Now that the initial negotiations had been through and they broke for their first break, Anna's presence had even less of a purpose. The dignitaries already squirmed and knew the princess was off limits. Anna had done her job.

"Anna, dear, the negotiations will resume at the top of the hour, however I don't need you anymore." The Queen continued walking into her office, leaving Anna at the door with unspoken instructions.

Anna turned around to leave without showing a reaction. She was very much relived it was finally over, however knowing it never really was over suppressed any feelings of happiness. Still, she was happy to get a few hours alone.

"I will see you at dinner, my love," the queen said as Anna stepped out. It was an order.

Anna slammed the door shut behind her and headed off towards the library.

* * *

Anna sighed to herself and sank deeper into her armchair. Her recent stack of books had proved useless, much like every other book that the royal family owned. After two weeks of sobbing and sulking following Elsa's disappearance, Anna had finally decided to start looking for answers. Months later, she was finally convinced that she had combed the entire castle and found nothing. Elle had to have known what she had been up to. She had no reason to stop her if there was nothing to find, Anna figured.

She had had exactly one break during her search. She had found a book written in runes among her father's things. Within its pages she had found a map leading to the trolls and a drawing of a man using what appeared to be wintry magic. Anna had thought she had found the jackpot, but after finally translating the pages, she had discovered it only told her what she already knew. It said nothing about Elsa's powers or why she had them and only dealt with the effects they had when used on other people, such as what happened to her frozen heart. Worse was that there had definitely been more to it, but the book was so old and so many pages had been lost. It took a week to finally get over the depression caused knowing that all her answers could've been within her grasp had they not been lost in time. She went back to combing the castle once she had gotten over herself.

Anna brought up the map in her head. She was afraid of Elle finding it so she had hid it, but not before first making sure the image was burned in her mind forever.

"There are no answers here," Anna declared to herself out loud.

She knew what she had to do. There were no answers in the castle, but she knew where there were some out there. It was so risky and if Elle caught her...but Anna had to do it. There was just no other way.

She pulled out another image, this time an actual physical image. It was a drawing of her sister. Her real sister, the real Elsa. She ran her fingertips over the piece of parchment. She had stuck it in her dress before the earlier meeting with the Snoob people kind of as a good luck charm. It gave her strength.

"Elsa, I miss you so much." Tears welled up in her eyes.

She clenched the drawing to her chest. "I will save you. I will find out how to fix this."

She didn't know what Elle would do to her if she were to get caught, but she had to do it for Elsa.

* * *

It was a quiet night as the pair laid in bed. Elle snuggled in next to Anna, satisfied with being able to take advantage of her sister once again. Anna watched her fall asleep, listening to her faux-sister's soft breathing. The rhythmic sound filled Anna with so many different emotions as it did every night.

_It would be so easy...to just kill her in her sleep. She's so vulnerable._

It was a lie that Anna liked to tell herself, to give herself some kind of sense of control. The truth was that Elle wasn't ever safer than when she slept. Anna couldn't touch her, not when she reminded her of Elsa in every way.

In the quiet moonlight of the royal bedroom, the monster that tormented Anna on a daily basis turned into a sleeping beauty. She looked like Elsa, slept like Elsa, and sounded like Elsa. Anna had lost count of the times she had awoken in the middle of the night only to have her tired or hysterical mind trick her into thinking her sister was actually back. No moment was more torturous than those.

Besides, killing Elle was out of the question. If she killed Elle, she would kill Elsa too. The fear that one of Elle's growing number of enemies would finally get to the queen gnawed at Anna, adding to the list of despair and eroding her small glimmer of hope that she would ever see Elsa again.

_There's always the trolls._

Anna had meant to start planning to sneak out to the see the trolls three weeks earlier, after declaring the castle void of answers and the day the representatives from Snoob first came. She had chickened out when a new fear got in the way.

_Would Elsa even forgive me?_

It came up every time Anna even thought about making a move against Elle. Of course Elle had spent countless hours convincing Anna that Elsa would never forgive her, up until the point that she ordered the past to never be brought up again in an attempt to erase the real Elsa from reality, past and present. But Anna had never believed her, refused to listen to her every time. Now months later, the idea paralyzed Anna.

Her grip on the edge of her comforter tightened. Elle had shifted in her sleep. She faced Anna, her eyes fluttering open.

"Hey," she smiled.

Anna looked at her, but didn't answer. Elle still smiled at her. "What're you thinking about?"

Anna rolled over in response.

"I hope you're not still thinking about _her_ ," Elle spat, her tone switching from sweet and caring to malice without skipping a beat but Anna was more surprised that Elle had broken the taboo topic though.

"She's gone, Anna, and she's never coming back." Anna screwed her eyes shut tightly and held back tears.

Just like that, Elle switched gears again. "But don't worry, we have each other now," she continued as if nothing had happened.

Anna ended up crying herself to sleep again while Queen Elsa slept comfortably and smugly by her side. She slept with dreams of planning her move, but when she awoke the next morning, it remained nothing more than a dream.

* * *

An endless void of nothingness. That was the best way she could describe it. Time seemed to pass by while at the same time seemed to stand still. Time probably didn't exist here. Sometimes she thought it did. Sometimes she forgot what time was.

It felt like floating in a sea of darkness. It felt like nothing too. She wasn't sure how to feel or what it was. She wasn't sure if she was even real or not.

_What even is real?_

No, she could actually _feel_ something, but she couldn't recall what it was.

 _Pain?_ _Yes, that's what it was._

The pain always returned. Pain and...

_Despair._

Something caused her great pain and despair, but she hardly remembered what. It was something neither here nor there, but somewhere.

It was someone else's suffering. It itself was cause for her own suffering, but she rarely remembered why she suffered. Sometimes she got close to figuring it out, she thought. It had to be growing stronger. Her mind was easier distracted by the nothingness, the never ending darkness.

It drove her mad. Maybe she was already mad to begin with though.

One thing was certain though, this was her hell and there was no escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and Rd.
> 
> Unfortunately this fic will be going on a sort of hiatus following this chapter. I'll be going away for a few weeks as will one of my beta readers. I might be able to get a chapter out in the next month, but I can't promise anything until the end of August at least. Anyone who followed Blizzards in Arendelle might remember this happening last year.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any questions, comments, or concerns.


	14. Chapter 14

For several days, Anna had tried to psyche herself up to sneak out to visit the trolls, but she could never find the will to follow through with it. Elle kept Anna on a tight leash. She was afraid of what Elle would do not only to her, but to the trolls and Kristoff as well if she were caught. If Elle got a hold of them, Anna was sure she would never get to see her real sister again. Of course, there was the fear the trolls wouldn't actually have any answers for Anna too.

Anna needed somebody to talk to for advice. Unfortunately, Joan and the rest of the paintings had been removed from the castle; replaced with ugly, unnatural looking ice sculptures of Elle's doing. The Queen had told Anna she did it for her. More like she did it to mock her.

"That's it! Olaf. I can go talk to him," Anna exclaimed, shooting up in bed. She was still half asleep when she came up with the idea while lying in bed, even though it was already midday. By the time Anna had gotten dressed and out the door, she was wide awake. Anna ran around the castle, careful to avoid looking too exited in the areas Elle would frequent or in the presence of the staff who reported to her. There were a few, mostly newer staff members that Anna could not trust herself around. The ones that Anna could trust or liked were growing thin. The few that stuck up with serving the queen were there only for the princess's sake.

Anna had to pause for a moment to rub her eyes, the effects of a long sleep still lingered despite her excitement. For the life of her, Anna couldn't find Olaf or remember where he would be. There was a nagging thought at the back of her mind that kept bothering her as well. It felt like something really important. She was starting to regret not letting herself wake up before jumping out of bed.

Before Anna could figure it out, a voice from behind startled her back to reality.

"Your highness."

Anna jumped and spun around. It was one of Elle's stooges.

"Queen Elsa requests your presence in her office. Immediately," was all he said before turning around and leaving her. She was the princess of Arendelle, yet treated like a prisoner and child.

Anna was resigned as she slowly made her way to the queen's office. She was wondering what was needed of her this time. From what she could remember, there were no planned visits or ceremonies coming up. There was no reason for Elle to show her off in the upcoming future nor was it time for the usual abuse. By the time Anna reached the office, her wondering mind had completely forgotten about Olaf or that nagging thought.

Anna opened the door and entered unannounced. If Elle had still been Elsa, Anna would have at least knocked first. She gave Elle no such respect.

Elle smiled brightly in amusement as Anna entered, not oblivious to her defiance. It only served to edge her on.

But then her smile faded to something more sincere as she got down to business. Elle stood up from her desk and approached Anna. Anna flinched when Elle took her by the arm and led her back to her desk since Anna clearly wasn't approaching fast enough. A part of her hoped that one day things like that got through to Elle so that she knew what she caused Anna. But the rest of Anna knew that Elle not only noticed, but took satisfaction from it. She was truly twisted.

"Anna, I'm glad you came, my love," Elle greeted.

_Like I have a choice._

"Please take a seat."

When Anna didn't sit, Elle gently pushed her down. It was nothing more than nudge, but Anna's resistance shattered and she complied.

"I bet you're wondering why I asked you here," Elle prodded as she returned to her desk.

Anna remained silent.

Elle continued as if Anna had answered and was waiting for a response rather than staring blankly at the papers littering the desk.

"As you're probably aware, the weather is getting much warmer."

_Has it? I barely even noticed._

It had been getting warmer now that spring was in full swing. Anna had been looking forward to spending this spring with Elsa. The thought sent a pain through her chest. She tried to keep it from showing, but she swore she saw Elle smirk in her peripheral vision.

"I was thinking it is time to break out the summer wardrobe. Since I'm your sister, I'd be happy to help pick out and design brand new outfits."

_Is that what this was about?_

"I was thinking that tonight we can try out what you have up in your room to see what you need. We can decide what you want to keep and what you want to get rid of."

_Great, she just wants to play dress up with me._ Anna was well aware that Elle just wanted Anna to wear what Elle wanted to see Anna in. Nothing more.

"I came up with this brilliant idea of using my powers to design dresses on the spot. We can't go too fancy because they'll eventually be made out of real fabric, but it'll let us be creative as you want…"

Anna determined that she was not going to be having any say in regards to her wardrobe despite what Elle was spewing at the moment, so she decided to tune the rest of it out.

With a heavy sigh, one that Elle clearly noticed but kept talking through anyway, Anna started to imagine what she herself would like to wear. But all she could think of was imaging what Elsa would wear. It was a nice distraction at least until she was dismissed.

* * *

Anna had tried on Elsa's ice dress in the past. The hybrid ice/fabric was cold, but not unbearably so. Still, it took someone with Elsa's cold affinity to wear such a dress normally. That didn't keep Anna from being able to try them on though. She was just incapable of wearing them for extended periods of time.

Elsa's dresses had been comfortable though. The stuff Elle had been putting on Anna all night was not so. First of all, they were absolutely scandalous for the most part. Some of them showed so much skin that Anna suspected she'd be called a whore by her own loving caretakers. Half were simply incapable of being created with real fabric. They were clearly for Elle's viewing pleasure to fulfill her immediate lust rather than serve as an actual dress.

The rest, the ones Anna knew were going to be made, were the ones really she dreaded. They were downright humiliating and because Anna knew she would be forced to wear them for Elle to show off made it all the worse. Thankfully, they weren't painful like the former. Ice was not a soft material. Anna had been jabbed, poked, chafed, scratched, and even pinched by ice on the more obscene and impractical ones, sometimes when she moved and even when she stood still. When Elle made some of the features even more painful, Anna figured it must have been punishment for her earlier attitude.

At one point, a sharp piece of ice had cut her skin. Anna, who had been trying to put up a front the whole time, recoiled from the pain. Anna almost broke down when she saw Elle lick her lips when it happened. She excused herself to clean off the blood. She barely made it to the bathroom before she threw up. The knowledge that this was turning Elle on made her sick.

By the night's end, Anna was absolutely freezing. Her fingertips had already started to turn blue and her teeth chattered nonstop, but she knew she couldn't complain. After the cut incident, Elle had toned down her impracticable designs and focused on the actual, practical ones. Anna had learned her lesson and refused to voice complaint or show anymore defiance, even as the cold dresses started taking their effect.

Anna hadn't felt this cold since Elsa's coronation, when she was actually frozen to death. Even over the past winter, where Elle kept Anna on a tight leash indoors, Anna hadn't felt this cold. She had barely disposed of the most recent dress from her body before collapsing onto her knees, her body now shivering uncontrollably. She thought she was going to die. If she had to wear one more, she would surely die.

"I think we have enough, don't you?"

Anna barely managed to lift her head.

"I'll go take these down for the royal seamstress to look at," Elle said as she scooped up her pad of paper and a bundle of ice dresses, the ones that they-no, _she_ had decided on. The rest she had dissolved, letting the room finally get a chance to warm up.

Anna couldn't fathom how many dresses she had tried on the night. She couldn't fathom how long Elle had been working on those designs. She had probably spent countless hours going over that sketchpad during the winter months alone in her office, lusting over what she could force Anna in. It made her almost retch again.

"Don't worry, I'll have all these done by summertime. You know, love, I don't expect you to wear these all the time, so why don't you go pick out a few outfits for general, everyday wear from your old wardrobe? We're just going to get rid of the rest later."

And with that, Elle was gone, leaving Anna shivering and naked on the now empty floor.

"H-how c-c-considerate," Anna thought out loud, her teeth still chattering. She managed to crawl over to her bed and pull off a comforter, wrapping it tightly around her body and sobbed.

When she finally felt warm enough to move, she poked her head out from the comforter and looked around. Elle hadn't come back yet, despite it being very late at night. She was probably in her office, gawking at the finer details of the dresses. Anna threw on a night gown and decided to start going through her wardrobe. If she didn't do it now, Elle would do it for her in the morning. That Elle "let" her do it on her own, only when she was distraught and half dead from cold, didn't surprise or faze Anna at all.

Anna played right into Elle's hands, picking her most conservative summer wear she could possibly find to counter the humiliating ones Elle had designed. It was probably what Elle wanted Anna to do so, so that she couldn't show off to the castle staff every day. The dress she wore right after the thaw was the first one Anna grabbed though. She had made sure not to ruin that with her antics in the past summer and now she was determined to at least protect it from Elle too.

While she rummaged, Anna came across one "summer" outfit that brought a nostalgic smile to her face.

"I can't believe it, I had completely forgotten about this." Anna ran her fingers along the thick wool of the outfit she had bought from Oaken's Trading Post on the night of Elsa's coronation. She had never had a chance to use it over the past winter.

"How unfortun-" Anna began to lament about forgetting it before cutting herself off.

It hit her all at once, the realization did. When Anna had worn this outfit last, she had gone out on her own in the middle of a blizzard, fought wolves, challenged a snow monster, tried to climb a mountain, jumped off a cliff, and put herself in front of a sword. All for Elsa.

Tears had welled up in her eyes as Anna had remembered it all. She had done all that for Elsa and now what? She had sacrificed herself for Elsa then, but now here she sat here crying and too afraid to do the same again.

_No. What am I even doing?_

There was no difference between then and now. There was no reason Anna couldn't do now what she did back then.

The risks now were no worse than the ones back then. In fact, they were even greater back then than now. Anna had risked freezing to death, being eaten alive, leaving the kingdom to fall to ruin, and most importantly losing her sister. Now the risks only applied to herself and maybe the trolls and Kristoff. The kingdom wouldn't fall into ruin if she failed. Well, it might if Elle remained in charge, but if Anna didn't act that would happen anyway. She didn't fear death like she did then either. If Anna failed, death would be preferable to whatever Elle planned as punishment and her sister would still be gone regardless.

Anna cursed herself one more time before throwing her selection of dresses back and stuffing her prized winter outfit deep within her winter wardrobe where it was safe. She then started picking out the outfits she knew Elsa liked the most. Anna planned on spending her summer with her sister.

While she worked, Anna began to formulate the plan in her mind, bringing up all the canceled plans from the past to the forefront. This time she wasn't going give in and every time she would doubt, Anna remembered that outfit and the things she had accomplished in it. She had her secret weapon. Only a memory, but a powerful weapon nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and road.
> 
> Welcome back. It's been a while, but I'm ready to get back on schedule. I didn't have any motivation to write over the summer, but I've gotten back into things again. Updates might be a little longer because one of my betareaders is very busy, but otherwise there shouldn't be any long waits. There aren't many chapters left anyway.
> 
> Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any questions, comments, or concerns.


	15. Chapter 15

The endless void that was Elsa's tomb became an eternity of pain and despair.

And then one day, as if time itself came crashing down onto Elsa's reality, it came. A small light. A little glimmer of willpower. It was so miniscule, yet so powerful. It made Elsa realize something then. It wasn't hers, it was someone else's.

_But whose?_

* * *

Anna had not been too rebellious as a teenager, however, that did not mean she didn't know all the in's and out's of the castle and its staff. Though for all that knowledge she had, she never snuck out herself, but she did know how. And it was quite easy to sneak past the castle guards as soon as one spent the time to memorize their schedules. Anna had all the time in the world, both then and now.

The only thing more important than sneaking out and back in was making sure no one noticed her absence. Being the princess had its drawbacks in that regard, but Anna had a surprising amount of freedom within the castle. She could easily go an entire day without seeing a single staff member. As long as Elle wasn't looking for her, that was the most important detail, Anna would be left alone. It was a consequence of Elle's coming to power that Anna was once and finally grateful for.

The issue for Anna was finding a window. Anna had lucked out that her sister was queen. All she had to do was wait for a day that Elle was swamped with meetings.

The day came sooner than Anna expected. One night, Elle had complained about having to spend the next day in important meetings. Since Anna had prepared everything in advance, such as traveling money and disguises, she was ready to go in an instant. Anna made her move immediately the next morning.

* * *

Before Anna even had a chance to doubt the next morning, she had found herself on a horse galloping towards the trolls. Sneaking out of the castle and through the town under disguise to find transportation had gone off without a hitch. Her time table had her returning long before Elle even dreamed of finishing the meetings, but still Anna pushed her horse ahead faster. She wasn't about to take any chances. She wanted to spend as much time with the trolls as possible, but with her current schedule the time allotted for that was already thin. The ride to and back from the Valley of the Living Rock consumed a sizable amount of her time which was several precious hours. The trip between the town and castle itself was even longer. If she could gallop straight from the castle and back, she'd cut her trip time in half, but that was simply not possible.

Not only was she on a strict schedule, but she only had a few opportunities to sneak back into the castle without being seen. Her current schedule had her returning fifteen minutes before her first window of opportunity. If she missed that, there was a second window. There was also a third and final window, but if Anna had to resort to that she'd be pushing her luck with Elle. Missing the third window meant she was truly doomed.

Anna reached up and felt for the pocket watch and the list of times she had secured in her bosom. Those were her lifeline, more important than any weapon at the moment. Of course they wouldn't help if she came across brigands or wolves, but at the moment they were the least of her concern.

As she rode, her mind couldn't help but wonder about the things that could go wrong. But she pushed those thoughts aside as she gripped the reigns tighter and tried to remember the map to the trolls. It wasn't going to help adding more stress to an already stressful situation. It was a different path from the one Kristoff took her on, but she was alright with that because she didn't remember that way at all and neither had that been a very time sensitive route. Nonetheless, memorizing a map for an unfamiliar area was nothing like knowing it with prior experience. It had been a good thing she remembered to grab the original map at the last second earlier that morning. Several times she had to stop to take it out to catch her bearings, cursing herself and the heavens every time.

She could tell she was getting closer. Things were starting to look more and more familiar, even in a different season. Anna pulled out the pocket watch for the umpteenth time, cursing herself again for the time she'd been losing and could've had.

"Well, at least I didn't get lost," she murmured to herself. Suddenly, Anna yanked hard on the reigns, barely holding on as the horse reared back on its hind legs. She had ran her horse into the valley without even realizing it.

She jumped off the horse and tied it down, hoping she hadn't offended them by barging in so suddenly and rudely. Part of her hoped she had roused them and was less than concerned with her manners. She had remembered her first visit to the trolls and how long it took for them to get to the point. Her time was too precious for such activities today.

"Uhm, hello?" Anna called out as she walked deeper into the valley. Despite the commotion of barging into their sanctuary, not a single rock was undisturbed. The place was barren.

"Excuse me, please I need your help," she begged, her voice betraying her desperation and urgency.

It didn't occur to her until now that they probably resented her for what happened between her and Kristoff. She was about to panic as nothing happened until she heard a familiar voice.

"Anna?"

Anna spun on her heels.

"Kristoff?"

The trolls suddenly started to awake.

*break*

"Anna...it's been so long," the ice harvester muttered. Anna cringed. She had wished she wouldn't see him here. It was just too awkward and she hadn't the time.

"Hello, Kristoff," she replied ruefully and somewhat guarded, hoping to conceal her mild irritation.

He was silent for a moment before continuing. "What's happening Anna? What's going on back there? No one has seen or heard from you in months and rumors are running wild." He may have been raised by trolls, but Kristoff knew enough about human interaction not to ask Anna about her sister. It was obvious it all revolved around the Queen and Kristoff was not so insensitive to bring it up directly. Still, she couldn't blame him for wondering what the heck had been going on.

He chuckled. "I'm glad to see you though, I was so..." He trailed off as he finished his sentence and looked down to the ground. "...worried about you."

Anna held her hand to her heart in response, feeling the pain directly in her chest. He still harbored feelings for her, after all this time. Even the trolls that surrounded them picked up on the awkwardness of the situation and stayed utterly quite.

Anna chose her next words carefully. "Kristoff, I'm...I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you lately. Unfortunately, this isn't the time to catch up. I came here for something very important and my time is limited, again I'm sorry." It felt awful to apologize so many times and it felt like a repeat of their breakup, except this time his entire family was staring her down. It really did pain her to say this.

"Oh, I see."

Anna couldn't take it so instead she shot him a smile. "But I promise things will get better and I'll come visit more often. I just need to handle this first." She had said something similar when they broke up and she instantly regretted trying to comfort him with that line. But it seemed to cheer him up regardless, so Anna moved on and turned to Pabbie.

"Princess," he greeted her plainly when she knelt down to his level.

"Grand Pabbie, I'm sorry we have to meet like this, but I have something very important I need to discuss with you."

Pabbie nodded without inquiring what the problem was. It seemed he already knew something was wrong. Anna almost expected him to ask why she had taken so long to come to him.

"It's about..." Anna almost continued before realizing Kristoff and the rest of the trolls were still there. "...actually, it's rather something I'd like to discuss in private." Anna's cheeks blushed a bright red as she saw Pabbie raise an eyebrow at her. And yet, nobody moved.

She looked over her shoulder at Kristoff, who was staring at her with a blank expression. No one seemed to understand what private meant and it annoyed Anna greatly. It was one thing to be in this awkward situation, but Anna could never live with letting Kristoff figure out why she had really broken it off with him.

She was about to ask again when Pabbie sighed deeply. "Please, give us a moment," he ordered. The rest of the trolls listened and started to disperse, but not without expressing their shock and concern. Pabbie may have been the elder, but the trolls were all still one close knit family. Anna wished she had spent more time with them.

Pabbie watched Anna intently as the area cleared. She met his gaze, only to distract herself from the pain of listening to a distraught Kristoff shuffle away from them behind her back.

"He will be okay," he reassured her. "Now, this must be serious indeed."

In that moment, Anna went off and wasted no further time. She explained everything that had happened and everything that was happening in as much detail as she could to the elder troll. She had rehearsed this speech over and over, careful not to leave any important point out, but in the act Anna still fumbled with her words, stuttered, and stood on the brink of tears as she choked out the more shameful parts.

Grand Pabbie never interrupted once. He only listened and nodded. But he had raised his eyebrow in mild surprise when Anna had pulled out her pocket watch for the second time. It was a rude gesture towards him but Anna couldn't spare a second if she was past her window. Anna didn't notice while she fumbled to check the time while she spoke. It happened a third time and by the fourth time, Anna had just started rambling without realizing she had already said everything she needed to.

"Princess Anna, please. I've heard enough," he finally interrupted.

Anna shut her mouth immediately.

"Hmmm. This is indeed serious...but what exactly do you want from me?" he asked once she shut her mouth.

Anna's eyes went wide. All that rambling and she had forgotten to ask the important question. But it felt good to get all that off her chest nonetheless. Neither had Grand Pabbie judged her for being in love with her sister. She took it as a plus, she wouldn't have to explain further.

"I want to know how this happened and why. And most importantly, how to fix it!" Anna practically shouted, couldn't he already tell by the story she told?

"I see." He scratched his chin in thought. Anna checked her watch again. _Cutting it close. Please hurry..._

"Well, I certainly didn't see this coming." Anna was speechless, so Pabbie continued.

"I'm glad you admitted all this to me, Princess. It may have been hard, but I never would have figured it out without knowing the full truth. It seems I have made a grave error in the past."

"A grave error?"

"Yes. You see, back when your father brought the two of you here for the first time, I had warned Elsa about her powers. His majesty was so devoted to protecting you and your sister that he took my words to heart. Too much so in fact. He tried to protect Elsa from her powers, but all he did was repress them." Pabbie shook his head. "I should not have let him leave with such a naïve notion."

Anna had heard this before. It was the reason why the coronation incident happened in the first place. "Forget that. That was in the past, what about now?" Anna pleaded impatiently.

"It has everything to do with now," Grand Pabbie snapped. Anna reared back, but quickly realized it was not she who he had snapped at. He was angry at himself. "The years of fear and repression that your father and Elsa pushed on herself is what allowed her powers to manifest into this."

"Manifest? What do you mean?"

"This Elle you tell me of. She is the manifestation of Elsa's powers after years of repression and fear. I warned young Elsa that fear could control her, but to take on its own persona...it's unprecedented."

"Unprecedented. How is it even possible?" Anna had wanted answers but it seemed like she only received more questions.

"I'm not even sure it is. But that is the only explanation I can think of and we are dealing with magic here after all. Even with all my years and my years to come, I will never understand the true nature of magic. But fear and repression alone isn't enough to cause such a mutation. It was you, most certainly."

"Me?" Anna questioned, not sure how to take the accusation.

Pabbie nodded and continued. "Yes, I never took into consideration how much she loved you. Her powers have always been connected to her emotions. Its lives and thrives off of them. She knew that, but she had such a strong passion for you that her powers were practically connected to you as well. And her position as heir to the throne on top of that. I had failed to consider that when your father had come for help." Pabbie took a few steps back and sat on the mossy ground. He held his head in his hands and grumbled.

Anna figured where he was heading and continued for him. "After the accident, when we separated, it wasn't just Elsa that suffered. So did her powers because of their connection with me."

"Indeed," he agreed.

"But that doesn't explain why it became like this."

Pabbie looked thoughtful before replying. "Elsa's strong love for you allowed her powers to manifest themselves around something tangible. You."

But Anna only felt confusion at his answer. "I'm sorry, this doesn't make any sense."

"I agree, but that is the only explanation I can think of. Repressing her powers for so long...to put it frank, she developed a split personality, one that was obsessed with you. Her powers latched onto that personality. Either that or her powers made the personality itself."

Anna thought she was beginning to understand. "Subconsciously, Elsa wanted to be with me. So, subconsciously, her powers developed a way to achieve that goal. Just like her powers would do things to save her life. Its solution was a new Elsa?"

Pabbie scratched his chin then nodded in agreement.

"Elle was just Elsa's way of trying to be with me?"

"More or less, Anna. But Elle is no longer Elsa. She is practically a separate person now. And to explain why she is the way she is, you must remember that this Elle was developed with nothing but fear and hatred. She may have developed with you as her goal, but she turned out very corrupted. Her ends justified the means."

Anna sat down herself and held her chest. She didn't feel good.

_Was this my fault?_

Pabbie seemed to read her thoughts well. "I will admit, that your actions have helped Elle take control over Elsa's body, but it was her that manipulated and abused your feelings, Anna. She struck at you while you were down and played you both. She had probably been lying in wait for the right opportunity since the coronation, which I believe was the catalyst for the evolution of this mutation of Elsa's powers. You presented one easily for her, but it's most likely she would have struck eventually as her power grew. Your parent's deaths, Elsa's early coronation, and the responsibilities Elsa has had since then...they all served to help her powers mutate into this Elle. Your sister was destined for this to happen to her, Anna. It's not your fault just because she loved you so much. You were both cast into an unfortunate set of circumstances."

Anna and Elsa had been born into royalty, but she felt like there had been nothing lucky about their lives. Pabbie seemed to agree.

"If I wasn't born..." Anna began, but Pabbie quickly stopped her.

"You think her powers would never have done this? What a foolish idea. No offense intended, your highness. You can say that, yes, but I can also argue that it is the love you share that is keeping her alive and righteous. Arguing over 'what-ifs' will get you nowhere."

Anna had no rebuttal. The valley grew deathly quiet. Anna was deep in thought. Pabbie watched her curiously.

"Powers like Elsa's," he began, "they're not connected to the body, but the mind. In this extreme case, they have become detached from the mind and made a new one. But there is only one body. Elsa is not gone, but only one mind can occupy that body."

"But how do I bring her back?" Anna asked sharply, bringing them back to the original reason why she was there in the first place.

"That my child, you cannot do. It is only Elsa that can bring herself back. Just like how this Elle managed to take over in the first place. Sheer willpower of the mind."

Anna was at loss for words and gripped her chest harder. She felt the stopwatch in her bosom and remembered she was on a time schedule. "So, is there anything I can do?" she asked in a rush. She felt desperate.

"Do not blame yourself," Pabbie answered and stood up. "Only I am at fault."

"It doesn't feel that way," Anna replied. Tears had been welling up in her eyes and were now silently falling over the edge.

"I know it may feel like you are responsible, but there was nothing you could have done. As I've said, there were certain actions that you took that expedited the process, but you never could have known that and it would have happened eventually anyway." Anna wasn't sure if Pabbie was lying or not. Out of everything he said, this was the one thing she simply couldn't believe. "But there is something you can do now." He quickly moved over to her and urged Anna back on her feet. Pabbie never failed to notice each time Anna had checked the time. He knew now was not the time for wallowing.

"Elsa will try to come back, but she needs something to come back to. Be strong for her. Like a beacon in the middle of a storm. Guide her home, Anna. You don't realize how important that is to her. Even though her powers have taken on a mind of their own, your connection with her is as strong as ever and don't forget that."

Anna pulled out her watch and checked the time again. She gasped and realized she was behind schedule.

"C-can Elsa...will Elsa ever be free from this? I mean even if she comes back, won't Elle just keep trying to come back too?" Anna almost didn't want to ask the question for fear of the troll leader's answer but she had to know.

Pabbie didn't answer at first. He was silent and stared off into the wilderness beyond Anna. She started fidgeting, knowing her time was growing thin. Her legs tremored uncontrollably in impatience. "Those two minds are on separate paths now." He started speaking so quietly that Anna barely heard him. "They will only separate further until they are so beyond similarity that one will fade away. Two minds cannot exist in one body as I have said. So yes, it certainly is possible, but Elsa will most certainly lose her powers in the process."

Anna swallowed hard, but not because of thought that Elsa might lose her powers.

"But do not fear," Pabbie continued more loudly and with confidence. "Elsa is in no danger of fading away anytime soon."

"How can you be so sure?"

"You're still here. Besides, Elsa's mind is anchored to her body. Elle's mind is anchored to the powers. It may be as simple as casting her powers off to get rid of Elle, which is actually possible now that Elsa is no longer connected with them through her mind. Whether she can do that on her own or requires our help is up for debate, however."

Anna looked at the time again.

"I do not wish for you to be in danger by remaining here for so long," Pabbie addressed her clock watching finally. "I can only imagine why you must be in such a hurry.

Anna looked at him apologetically.

"I understand your situation and am not offended in the slightest. I am a very old stone, sometimes I forget how slow and rigid I can be."

"I'm sorry, but I am in a hurry," Anna said to her shoes.

"Then please, go. Save your sister. We can save the pleasantries for later."

Anna didn't waste a second. She ran to her horse. She wanted, no needed, to stay to stew over everything she had just learned. But she was behind schedule. She was already on the verge of missing the first window and she could barely think straight.

By the time Anna had herself and her horse besides Pabbie for one polite gesture to say her last good bye, he had conjured a floating spherical light. Anna was too panicky to wonder what it was and it didn't faze her until he spoke.

"Here, let this lead your way. It will take you back to the city on a much quicker path. You must think this over while you travel and I cannot have you rushing and trying to think. Take your time, please. Think this over and do not worry about the time. You will arrive in the city ahead of your schedule."

It felt like a weight lifted off Anna's chest and shoulders as the sphere floated in front of Anna's horse. She smiled at Pabbie in response.

"Thank you, Grand Pabbie. I will find a way to repay you. And please tell Kristoff and the others that I am truly sorry." Anna flicked the reigns as he nodded.

She barely started to move when she came to a screeching halt. With her mind cleared and relieved, she had so many more questions boiling up to the surface. But one stood out in particular which had Anna bringing her horse back around to Pabbie.

"Grand Pabbie, wait, I have one more question."

"I'm sure you have many," he whispered.

"Elle didn't just manage to take over Elsa's body on her own. She did it while Elsa was down, while she was swamped with all the kingdom's problems. And my own. But Elle doesn't seem to be struggling with running the kingdom. Or me. Then how...?"

"How do you weaken her?" He shrugged. "I can't tell you. Even if I thought about it long and hard I may never come up with an answer. But remember, Elle is tied to you. _You_ are her weakness. You'd have to figure out how to use that against her."

There was a glimmer in Anna's eye that Pabbie noticed then. Grand Pabbie was an old and wise troll. He feared little, but this glimmer of realization, made him very afraid.

"Pabbie," Anna asked quietly. "What would happen to Elle if I was no longer around?" The glimmer had been enough to warn Pabbie of the coming question, but he was still shocked upon hearing it.

"She would have no reason to exist. She would simply fade away," he answered sharply. Pabbie then took on a tone that he had not taken on in centuries. With as much anger and authority he could muster, Pabbie expanded on his answer. "But I warn you child, if you truly care about your sister, you will never consider that option."

* * *

True to Pabbie's words, the return trip was very much shorter and Anna had spent it deep in thought. She was able to make it back to town ahead of schedule without rushing. Unfortunately, returning the horse and the trip through town had gone less smoothly. In the end, Anna barely made it for the first window.

But she did and managed to sneak back into the castle undetected. She slipped through the castle, looking out for any signs of trouble and without seeing or hearing anything unusual, headed for her room.

It was such a relief when she finally had her back to her door. She was safe, but absolutely exhausted. She had no strength left.

Anna finally opened her eyes. She wasn't the least bit shocked, but her smile faded. Elle's smile only grew wider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and road.
> 
> Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any questions, comments, or concerns.


	16. Chapter 16

_How?_

Anna wanted to figure out how Elle could have possible caught her. It made no sense, everything had been planned perfectly. She wasn't going to have the chance though. Elle stood up from the bed and started approaching. Her strides were slow, but each one marked impending doom. Anna was running of time, but she had nowhere to go. Her body wouldn't even respond anyway.

As Elle reached out to her, Anna suddenly remembered that something had been unusual with the castle when she slipped back inside after all. It had been surprisingly empty, something Anna hadn't thought of when more concerned about getting caught.

There was only one reason for that to be and it spurred Anna to flee.

Unfortunately, it was too late. Something impacted her gut and she doubled over in pain, not even making the full motion before being pulled back upright with a yank of her hair. Anna's head was snapped upward to face the figure that now controlled her fate and forced to meet their eyes with her own.

No longer did Anna see her former sister in those icy blue eyes, but instead her own personal hell.

* * *

 

After Anna accepted her love for Elsa, she had come to terms with never having children of her own. Two women couldn't have children together and she had no problem with that. But hearing the physician tell she was no longer capable of bearing a child was more devastating than any other injury she had sustained during the ordeal. She cried for two days straight.

Things were improving for her body however slowly. The flesh wounds were healing, but would leave behind nasty scars that would remain with Anna for life. A few bones had mended, but other fractures kept her bed ridden. Her face was finally starting to look back to normal. Thankfully most of the worst scars were kept in areas that most people would never see and her face was spared all but bruising and swelling. Unfortunately, Anna would get to see those scars every day. She wouldn't have been able to see them if they were on her face after all. But even then there was no way for her to forget what had happened.

She was also fortunate enough to be able to eat solid food once she had regained consciousness. The mercenaries that had beaten and raped her were considerate enough for that.

That had been the story. The young, rebellious princess had been kidnapped by thugs while sneaking out of the castle. Said thugs had been hired by a neighboring kingdom hostile to Queen Elsa's rule. The princess was beaten and raped by those thugs, leaving her on the edge of death. The cruel devices used on her were never recovered. Only Anna knew it was because such devices had melted.

As soon as the news had gotten out to the public, Arendelle rallied behind Queen Elsa. Everyone was out for blood. As a result, the neighboring kingdom fell while Anna recovered. Many people lost their lives on both sides and several of the guards on duty the day Anna was attacked were executed. A group of 'mercenaries' were captured, probably from groups of beggars and the insane, and accused of carrying out the attack on the princess. A mob got a hold of them before anyone could investigate any further. The trolls and Kristoff had also been under suspicion. Anna had overheard rumors once that the forces Elle sent to the valley found not a trace of them. Anna believed that. She was grateful for that, at least.

Even though Anna may have known some of the guards that had been executed, she hadn't cared about a single innocent person who had died from the whole catastrophe. Her body was recovering, but her mind and spirit had been broken. She stopped caring even before she had slipped into the coma the night she returned from the trolls.

* * *

 

The days were so long being stuck in bed, in pain almost every day. The warm days had passed and it was beginning to get cold again. The servants attended to her bandages, fed her, and cleaned her. They never spoke to her. Anna never spoke to them. She cried whenever they had to touch her though.

Elle would come in every once in a while. Insult her a little bit. Maybe have her way with once she had been far enough along in the healing process. Anna never acknowledged any of it and that was all she ever heard from the queen. It was as if she only came in to make sure Anna was still hers. Anna spent her days staring at the ceiling or talking to Olaf. She spent almost every day talking to Olaf about her past life and the memories she had. It was the only thing she had left. And perhaps the only thing she cared about anymore—her past. There wasn't much of a bright future to look forward to.

After weeks, Anna was finally able to leave bed and do things on her own, though she still had much healing to do. After regaining her independence, Anna refused any and all servants. She had become weary of other peoples' company and preferred doing things by herself though the extent of her injuries made doing anything difficult. She had started reading again, but received no joy from it. Nothing was interesting anymore, she was afraid of getting caught up in any kind of imagination, scared to even dream for she knew the pain she would leave once it was taken away. Anna began to learn a lot of information and knowledge that would never be of any use to her. Novels were out of the question.

Eventually she even stopped trying to remember the good times she used to have. It only brought her pain and she hoped her memories would fade away. She stopped talking to Olaf altogether, but not because of that. Olaf had disappeared the day Elle had taken over Elsa's body. She finally forced herself to admit that Olaf was gone. She had forgotten that many times in the past, but now she would never forget.

Princess Anna was like the plague around the castle, a shell of her former self. The staff stayed away from her, either out of pity or fear of the aura that followed her around. Anna was like a black cloud that wondered around an empty lair.

The one person who never left her alone was her sister, Elle. Elle continued to torment, but Anna just ignored it or tried her best to. Her utter lack of empathy and care helped in that regard. She would just put herself out of the moment and imagine she was somewhere—anywhere but with Elle. Sometimes, on the worse days, she'd go days without even thinking the name, Elle. It made her go crazy because even though she wanted to forget _Elle_ she sometimes she forgot that Elle wasn't Elsa and vice versa. Anna tried to start writing a journal again, but ended up filling the pages with 'Elle' to remind herself Elle wasn't Elsa. She felt like she was losing her sanity. She was starting to lose herself.

She was falling deeper into depression by the day. Her life was monotonous and miserable, but she kept dragging her feet along until she realized the flowers were starting to bloom. It was already spring again. It had almost been a year. She still remembered that day like yesterday. The conversation she had with Pabbie that day could be repeated in her head almost verbatim. She soon learned whenever she found her situation too difficult to bear she would repeat it over and over again in her mind or nothing else preoccupied her mind. She remembered every last detail down to the times she had checked her watch.

Home was like a prison to her. One afternoon Anna watched a pair of budding flowers for hours and repeated the same conversation in her head for the umpteen time as if to find something out she hadn't known before, but by the time the sun came down, she had come to a simple conclusion.

She was tired of it all.

* * *

 

For Elsa, the concept of time had returned to her. She relearned what it meant for a day to pass by. However, time only came back with new burdens.

Elsa remembered that day as clear as present. The light, that glimmer of hope, had been snuffed out almost as fast as it had appeared. That was when it all started to return to her.

The pain came first, pain she had never felt before. It was such intense pain and it even felt physical, but didn't last forever. It lasted for only a few hours before it all cut off at once. It was only after it faded that Elsa realized it had not been her own. For several days afterwards, Elsa wondered whose pain she had shared.

Then one day a new feeling came. It brought a new wave of despair, aches, and hopelessness, once again not her own. Days passed by and Elsa grew weary of the weight it caused until she finally shattered. In that instant, Elsa remembered whose despair she felt.

_Anna._

The memories came flooding back.

Time continued to flow by, but Elsa kept herself busy. The torment was there every day, her own and Anna's, but it only strengthened her resolve. New memories would surface and pieces would fit into place. Eventually Elsa began to feel what her sister had felt during the months before that glimmer of hope had awoken her. She felt only pain and suffering. In the end, Elsa remembered and understood everything. Once she had regained that, the frustration of not knowing what was directly happening around her become the next burden. It was an improvement Elsa thought.

Her sister was suffering. Though Elsa couldn't tell for sure what was happening to her while she had been gone, she felt connected to her in some way. Elsa shared her pain, but unlike her, Anna had given up hope. That's when Elsa knew she had to return to her as quickly as possible.

 _"I wonder if this was how Elle felt,"_ Elsa asked herself as she floated along. The endless void had long since been replaced by an endless loop of memories. Elsa enjoyed them in the moment, but they were a distraction to the real problem—she had to get home, fast. The ache in her heart would never go away until she had Anna in her arms again.

 _"Elle...she was at least aware of her surroundings, but I can only see into the past..."_ Elsa wondered about this often. _"But maybe that's all Elle could see too?"_

Her memories would almost always feature Anna, but they always seemed to include not just Anna, but herself with her. Somehow Elsa could tell this was the difference between Elle and herself. Eventually she stopped wondering about how Elle had felt altogether.

More important was how _she_ felt. She watched her memories with Anna with admiration and affection. The unending weeks began to take her toll on Elsa as she thought of nothing but her sister. She began to question her relationship with Anna at great lengths.

" _Maybe I should have loved her back the way she loved me. I certainly do love her very much. I need her in my arms again."_ Elsa wondered if her time spent away from society was influencing her morality. But the prospect of holding Anna in her arms as a lover was more and more appealing. She went over every memory she could, hoping to find some kind of sign that maybe she had always felt this way. She wasn't really sure of anything anymore. After being trapped for over a year in this state, Elsa only grew more and more restless.

There were no signs of escape though. She couldn't even fathom how Elle had done it. Elsa reflected on her memories that led up to the current turn of events. She had been so weak and helpless back then. It was no surprise how Elle had taken over so easily. _"But how do I do that?"_ She called out to Elle every night in the hopes of reminding her she was still here. It would maybe even start the process if she could start communicating with her other self, to get into her head. Unfortunately, she never got through.

Rather than give up, Elsa kept trying. Giving up was akin to admitting Elle was stronger than her. Every time Elsa felt ready to give in, the past would resurface and remind her of the things that happened when she gave in. She couldn't give in, not for Anna's sake.

Soon Elsa realized she was missing a key ingredient, one that made her hopes soar. Elle had never usurped Elsa alone. She only succeeded because of outside influence. Elle wasn't as strong as she appeared after all. Elsa would keep trying, but most important she had to keep her faith. Faith in the only person capable of helping Elsa on the outside. Elsa couldn't believe in herself. Elsa had to believe in the Anna that believed in her.

She needed a window of opportunity. Little did she know, Anna was going to open the floodgates for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and road.
> 
> Got out a little later than I wanted, smh tbh fam. It's all good though and I'll try to do chapter 17 faster. By the way, in case there is any confusion, at the end of Chapter 15 Elle was waiting for Anna in her room and caught her returning. I had the impression that some people didn't pick up on this. I didn't want to go back and change chapter 15, so I decided the scene at the beginning of this Chapter to clear things up. I shouldn't have been so vague. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any questions, comments, or concerns.


	17. Chapter 17

The door to her office flung open, sudden and abruptly, stunning the mighty and powerful snow Queen that sat behind the desk. No sane worker of Arendelle's castle would ever have the nerve to enter on Queen Elsa like so and as such she was ready on the instant to issue her punishment. However, a quick look at the servant's face revealed something that gave her pause, and made her cut off the flow of her powers to let the man have at least chance to speak.

"Your majesty, it's the princess! Come quick!"

That was enough to excuse the man's behavior, she deemed, and without a word more the Queen sprinted out the door after him and out to the courtyard. Hastily, he explained the situation to her as they went, but she didn't bother listening—dismissing the affair somewhat—she would find out soon enough. It wasn't until they reached the courtyard that Queen Elsa truly understood the dire situation.

The familiar outline of a young woman stood on the edge of one of the castle's high towers. The blade that sat at her neck glinted in the sunlight like a beacon that partially obscured the girl's crestfallen face, but the strawberry blonde hair that blew in the breeze was unmistakable.

* * *

 

The crowd that had gathered in the courtyard was deafening and full of noise and still growing as more and more people congregated, but it all came to hush when the Queen joined them. Elle's blonde hair and icy gown stood out all too well among the tiny shapes. She had that effect on people.

Anna started giving her demands before Elle could make her first move.

"Elle, give me back my sister!" she screamed down at the ground not allowing the huge crowd to deter her. In her mind only Elle existed. She could care less if anyone else got involved. Her voice was hoarse, she'd been crying, but rang out loudly regardless. She had worried that she'd gone too high that no one would hear her, but judging from the crowd's reaction, her worry was unwarranted—her message had got across.

Seconds rolled by and there was no reaction from Elle. All eyes in the courtyard turned on her once realizing that Anna had been referring to their Queen Elsa. Anna was too far away to see the few eyebrows rise within the crowed. Confusion must've been on their minds wondering what the princess meant.

"Let Elsa go! Give Elsa her body back or else!" Anna tried again.

Murmurs immediately began within the crowd and this time Elle did react. She smirked.

"Or else what?" Elle shot back, standing there confidently. The people turned their attention on her once they heard her speak and away from the princess ready to jump.

"Or I'll slit my throat right here!" A collective gasp came from the crowd.

"You wouldn't-" Elle hissed, eyes narrowing to try to spot the lie on Anna's face. There wasn't any.

"And you'll never be able to touch me again!" Anna cut her off.

Perhaps Elle hadn't really grasped the reality of the situation before, because she took a step back and her eyes widened.

"Stop messing around, Anna! Get down from there immediately!" she ordered desperately.

Anna took a step towards the ledge and the crowd cowered. Elle stiffened, but only Anna noticed. The knife at her throat continued to tremble in her hand, nicking her skin several times. A voice in the back of her mind screamed that she didn't want to die, but Anna held her resolve.

The eyes of the crowd began to return to the queen as she looked around in panic. Even Anna was beginning to wonder why they all seemed to be so docile.

"You there," she pointed to several guards watching the proceedings, "Go up there and bring her down, immediately!"

Anna gulped when she heard the command from below, knowing that the end was coming soon. She held no illusion that her demands would actually be met. Anna had stepped onto this tower under the intention she would never return. And she was content with that, knowing her sister would be able to live on freely.

But then something happened. Or for better words, nothing happened.

The guards that Elle had ordered didn't move. Instead they averted their gaze, looking at the other gatherers or their captain. Anna's curiosity was piped and she finally took a look at the crowd that had gathered. They all had the same, detached expression.

At first Anna thought no one actually cared about her, it gave her a sudden sickening feel in her stomach and she almost drove the knife into her throat right there and then until she started to notice the reality of their reactions. Every so often, someone would throw a glance up at Anna before quickly returning their eyes to Elle or their peers. Anna recognized the sympathetic faces, even at this distance, the same ones she had been getting for months. They didn't _not_ care about her, they simply thought she was better off dead—to the point that they would even refuse orders from their queen. She hadn't thought anyone cared about her well-being anymore, but it still didn't matter.

Anna continued to look around as Elle started losing it below. Some people were looking at Elle with scorn and others looked as if they were having great debates within their minds. Others looked more resilient and ready to serve their queen, but the gazes of the rest kept them in check. A few along the edges of the crowd even took the opportunity to simply walk away.

A virtual coup d'état was taking place in the courtyard below Anna, but in the grand scheme of things it meant nothing to her. It only gave her a slight feeling of satisfaction that Elle's world was falling apart, but not even a coup would bring Elsa back.

Of course a coup d'état could easily result in Elle and Elsa's death, but it didn't seem like anyone was actually trying to overthrow Elle. Not that Anna was worried. With Elle's powers, she was untouchable and when Anna finished herself off, Elle would revert to Elsa. Then there'd be no reason for a coup. She was sure Elsa would be fine.

Down below, Elle began growing hysterical as she screamed for people to act. Anna knew she would revert to using her powers to force action so she stepped in, hopefully for the last time.

"If you harm anyone, I'll jump!" Anna ordered. The magic at Elle's fingertips dissipated instantly. No one would be helping Elle anytime soon and with that she was out of options. She already knew using her powers to stop Anna was out of the question, something she understood without Anna having to tell her.

The moment of truth had arrived. Elle was out of options and by now she'd be figuring out there was no chance of Anna coming down alive. Even if she tried cushioning her fall, Anna would make sure she'd bleed out before even hitting the ground. If Anna didn't act soon she'd run the risk of Elle figuring this out as well. If she did, Anna suspected Elle would try taking Elsa and maybe even others out with her. Anna hadn't counted on the staff revolting like this and now Elle had reasoning for taking them out with her as well.

Anna closed her eyes and readied herself. It had to be now and yet she hesitated, her hand was disobeying her orders to slash and her legs failing to move. Her grip on the knife tightened and Anna started to sob as the fear of death took control.

_I don't want to die._

Her sense of urgency dissipated and Anna opened her eyes again. The view looking down gave her vertigo and she took a sudden away from the edge as the fear of height took over as well. The knife at her throat slowly returned to her side.

Anna took in the view, not the one directly below her, but the one overlooking the fjord and the rest of Arendelle. It was a spectacular view, one she would miss—despite the situation she drew comfort from it. A breeze blew through her hair like it was patting her on the head for choosing life. She knew Grand Pabbie was somewhere deep in those forests and mountains. She remembered his parting words again.

If only things were that simple. Choosing life meant she had failed. The consequences would be unimaginable. Grand Pabbie had told her if she cared about Elsa that she shouldn't even consider this option, but what now?

Anna peaked over the ledge instinctively. She was beginning to wonder why Elle was taking so long to come after her and she got her answer. Things were certainly not going as planned, but Anna wasn't sure what it meant.

Elle was standing still, her eyes fixed forward. Her lips were moving as if talking, but Anna couldn't hear from this distance. She certainly wasn't talking to the crowd though, they were all looking at Elle visibly confused. It was as if she was talking to herself.

_No, not herself..._

Elle suddenly dropped to her knees and grabbed her head. The wind picked up, nearly toppling Anna over the edge and sending the crowd below running for cover. She quickly found her bearing before looking once more over the edge. The warm spring day turned chilly and the air started to swirl within the courtyard. Anna held on for dear life as the wind morphed into a violent gust of snow and sleet, all racing down into the courtyard and joining the growing blizzard that surrounded Elle.

* * *

 

Something was very wrong in the outside word. Elsa could sense not only Elle's distress, but the tension that hung in the environment around them.

_I wonder what is happening._

Elsa was more curious than alarmed, but she could tell the same wasn't true for her other self. It was genuine worry that was seeping through the barrier that separated the two minds. Though oddly enough, Elsa had never felt Elle's emotions before now.

_This must be serious indeed._

They weren't emotions she could feel herself, but she easily recognized and sympathized with them. She certainly recognized as general worry turned into sheer panic. That panic quickly flooded over Elsa, nearly blinding her.

No, that wasn't what was blinding her. It was light. Actual, physical light.

_Light? B-but, why is it so bright?_

Elsa held up a hand to shield her eyes, but remembered she had no body. Instead, her vision began to adjust and she realized there was a picture in front of her. She had a window to the outside world again.

It was a split second later, too short for Elsa to actually notice what was going on outside, that she realized the barrier that separated their two minds had shattered. Elsa could see and even hear what was going on around them, but most importantly was that Elle's emotions were being broadcasted as clear as day.

Panic, dread, hopelessness...Elsa had to stop registering them for it was too much to take in. Instead she decided to make her move. She called for Elle.

Elle's mind calmed almost instantly. Not so much calm though as much as frozen.

_"Don't tell me you had forgotten?"_ Elsa mocked.

The utter silence was for once, welcomed.

_"You thought you had gotten rid of me, didn't you? Let me remind you that this is_ _ **my**_ _body…and I don't plan on going anywhere,"_ she began again.

"Y-you," was all her other self could stutter out. The word had been spoken out loud making Elsa wonder what the situation outside was really all about. Aside from Elle's voice, there was only silence. She took a moment to check her newly restored vision. Elle was in a courtyard, staring at the castle's ground floor. It didn't give Elsa much to go on but she had the feeling they were surrounded by a great many people that were keeping silent. But she still had no idea about what was bothering Elle so much to make her lose control.

"Impossible," Elle muttered before Elsa could continue.

Elsa laughed. _"I said the same thing to myself."_

Her other self was silent.

_"Now, Elle, you shouldn't have let your guard down so easily. But don't worry, I'm here to help you,"_ she said mockingly, in the same way to how Elle had spoken to her in the past. Elsa didn't know what was going on around them, but she was ready to use it to her advantage.

"You can't have her, she's mine," Elle shot back urgently.

She was obviously referring to Anna, but Elsa let the comment pass by without phasing her.

_No, she's mine._ At one time she had given in to her other self but now not anymore. _"You've had your fun, Elle, but it's time to get lost,"_ she said in a voice clear as her resolve.

This time it was Elle's turn to laugh, then began sneering, "Oh yes, I've had my fun, but you'll be in for a shock if you think things will work out between you." Elle had seemed to regain her previous vigor and composure, but Elsa could see right through her words. The emotions that her other self was bleeding off told Elsa the true story and she could even pinpoint the desperation in her voice.

"In fact, you've just arrived to witness losing everything," Elle tried to continue.

This was neither bluff nor an attempt to gain the upper hand. Elle's emotional state didn't match up to either, instead sounding like her last words of satisfaction. Elsa was at a loss for words as the previous comment started to make sense. Elsa remembered feeling something terrible happen to Anna in the past. The two had to be connected.

_Where is Anna anyway?_

Elle began speaking again, but Elsa blocked her out as the realization hit her. She'd been so caught up in this new development with Elle that she'd failed to notice an even worse set of emotions. Now that Elsa thought about it, it was these emotions that set Elsa off, not Elle's initial distress. It was...Anna. She could sense her—terrified and alone.

While Elle was speaking, she happened to glance up and Elsa's window to the outside world followed. From this distance and her appearance, Elsa almost didn't recognize her, but that was simply impossible for Elsa not to. Elle's vision quickly turned elsewhere, but Elsa had seen enough to understand what was going on. She was enraged.

_"What did you do to my sister?!"_ Elsa screamed, stunning her other self to silence again.

With all her strength, Elsa lashed out...and for the first time in over a year, Elsa felt herself grasp onto something. The last thing Elsa had ever felt in the physical world had been her failed attempt to stop Elle's subversion and now she was again filled with that sensation. Yes, it was most certainly her powers she was feeling again, but they felt so foreign now. Almost like they didn't belong to her.

_That's right, they never did. My powers were nothing more than Elle herself_ , she reminded herself.

Elsa refused to let that detail stop her though. She threw all her worth into controlling the powers, in controlling Elle herself.

_I thought I had been using my powers to fight Elle off back then, but I was wrong. It was my will she was fighting. If I control our powers, I control her, but she has no will to defend herself like I do._

Elle had already been afraid before, but now she was terrified.

_"The trolls always did say fear will be your enemy,"_ Elsa pointed out with smug satisfaction. _I guess it works both ways._

* * *

 

The vortex below continued to blow harder to the point that Anna was forced to take shelter back inside or risk being blown over the edge. She didn't stop there, though, as she ran through the castle towards the courtyard below.

She didn't know why she was so eager to go to her tormentor now. Anna just knew she had to go to her. In reality, Elle was probably setting a trap or trying to take Anna and everyone else with her. There was another possibility though, but not one that Anna wanted to get her hopes up for, so she refused to acknowledge it but it was there all the same.

Three floors to go. The year hadn't been kind on her stamina. Anna had to stop briefly, out of breath and unsure of herself. But she had to keep going and force her body forward, and not be tempted with pausing over excuses and shortcomings.

_I need to get a better view of what is going on down there. She was almost there._

Two floors to go.

_I need to stop her from hurting anyone else._ She pushed onward but the closer she got the more she could feel her stomach churning over what horrible situation she might be rushing towards.

One floor to go. Anna jumped down the last few steps of the grand staircase and into the main hall. The entrance to the courtyard loomed in front of her.

_What's even the point?_ She could feel her body starting to give out. But she ignored it and shoved away any doubts from her mind. They would only hinder her and that was the last thing she needed now but...

Anna stumbled when the thought crossed her mind and she stopped short of the grand doors. There was only one excuse left that would overcome her fear and open those doors–the one possibility she refused to acknowledge.

_Elsa._

It was the only push she needed.

Anna pushed open the door and was immediately thrown forward. The wind had caught the doors and flung them open, taking her with it and sending her flying into the maelstrom. By the time Anna had come to a tumbling stop, she had completely lost her bearings. There was no going back now.

Anna struggled to stand. The wind and sleet on her skin felt like being stabbed by thousands of needles at once. It was so cold and her summer clothing provided no protection. Still Anna managed to stand and attempted to gauge her surroundings, but everything looked the same blank white.

If Anna didn't know any better, she'd think she was back on the fjord slowly turning to ice while desperately searching for Kristoff. Even her heart ached like so, but this time it was Elsa she was looking for and it was from the outside that she was freezing to death rather than from within.

Anna continued to stumble around in search, but all she managed to accomplish was further succumbing to the elements. Not a single landmark or building was visible, it was like she really was back on the fjord.

Anna collapsed to her knees after minutes of agonizing failure. The cold was unbearable and her body was beyond numb. The injuries she sustained from being thrown across the courtyard didn't even hurt, the cold was so overbearing. The ache in her heart continued to grow worse and Anna clenched her chest as she collapsed to the ground and cured up into a ball desperately trying to find just a little warmth.

Anna was about to succumb to the darkness of sleep when her eyes shot back open. An idea had popped into her head while she lay on the ground, dying. Anna gathered her strength and pushed herself back up despite the numbing pain, but this time she put all her concentration on the pain in her chest. The ache in her heart grew worse still, so Anna stopped and turned around.

Every time the ache in her heart grew worse, Anna stopped and changed direction until suddenly it started going away.

_She's this way._ There was no way to explain how she knew which direction to go but she trusted her heart and put faith in the love she had for her sister and the hope that she was still alive. Anna started forward and even broke into a run despite her lack of remaining strength. The storm around her had been getting worse and Anna knew she was running out of time.

The time Anna had spent in the courtyard had only amounted to a relatively short amount of time, but to Anna it felt like hours. It was a great relief, one that even the cold couldn't hamper, when the ache in Anna's heart disappeared and she finally came across a lone figure in the blizzard.

From her condition it was clear that Elle wasn't attempting to trap Anna or take anyone else with her. She had lost control of her powers and was now on her knees with her head in her hands, shaking uncontrollably. Despite the situation Anna approached her casually, knowing that whatever was going on inside her head was keeping her thoroughly distracted. She loomed over Elle, looking down at her with scorn and pity. She looked like such a pathetic creature in this state and Anna was going to treat her as such.

Elle seemed to finally notice Anna's presence and slowly looked up, her hands were still clenching at her scalp. Her eyes were wide with terror and Anna grinned with satisfaction. She raised her fist to strike, but Elle didn't flinch. She seemed to be looking at Anna, but her eyes were definitely elsewhere.

Anna stopped and lowered her fist. She knew where those eyes were directed and guessed it wouldn't be much of an advantage to Elsa by striking Elle. But that didn't mean she couldn't mock her and maybe even her words would help.

Anna knelt down to Elle's level. She opened her mouth to speak, to give Elle a taste of her own medicine and in the process, placed her hand on Elle's shoulder.

There were some things that were so cold to touch that it burned. Elle shoulder was among those things. Anna had instantly yanked her arm back, but she didn't even have enough time to wonder why. She only realized that touching Elle had been a bad idea after the air had been ripped from her lungs and found herself flying through the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and road.
> 
> Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any questions, comments, or concerns.


	18. Chapter 18

* * *

When Anna finally came around, she found herself looking up at clear blue skies and white powder accumulating on her face. She wiped at her cheek and her hand came back wet and cold–it was snow. She was lying in a pile of snow and her clothes were already soaked through. She shot up instinctively to escape the bitter cold of her resting place. However, as soon as she sat up, Anna was hit with a warm breeze.

"W-what happened?"

She wasn't sure how long she'd been out, but Anna swore just minutes ago the courtyard had been a howling blizzard with subzero temperatures. Now it was back to the clear spring day it had been when she had stepped out onto that ledge. The only remaining evidence of the blizzard were the snow banks that lined the walls and corners of the courtyard much like the one that Anna had landed in.

Suddenly, she remembered why she had been thrown across the courtyard in the first place and gasped. She looked around, but didn't have to look hard. The remnants of the blizzard, Anna included, seemed to have been blown out from a single point. Her gaze traced back to the epicenter. A lone figure was lying on the ground there but the silvery hair and icy dress were unmistakable.

She sprang forward, not even bothering to brush off the snow that clung to her dress. In her haste, Anna stumbled and fell into a puddle, one of the many already forming in the warm sun. As she tried to shrug off the pain, the figure stirred and Anna's heart leapt. It was only a small movement, but it caused a long portion of hair that been hidden from view to fall into Anna's vision.

Anna didn't even remember getting back up again and sprinting the distance, but now she was skidding on her knees at her destination. There was no hesitation, Anna couldn't hold herself back. She pulled the figure onto her lap and turned her over.

Perhaps she had been expecting her to be unconscious, like some kind of sleeping beauty. Instead, Anna was held in place as she stared blankly at the two open, and very conscious, eyes that stared back at her.

Perhaps she didn't really believe it, as she remained frozen and unable to speak or act. But the long hair that didn't exist only hours earlier certainly was real. It could have been a trick still. Anna was afraid and her grip on the body tightened.

In Anna's defense, the girl below her looked equally surprised, but she quickly smiled up at Anna. It wasn't just genuine, but one Elle was completely incapable of. Anna still couldn't believe it and continued staring silently even as pale fingers reached up and gently cupped her face.

Eventually, the girl's face flinched and she giggled lightly. Droplets of water, tears, were falling on her. Anna hadn't even realized she had begun crying and finally lost it.

"Elsa!" she cried out. Anna was answered with a lopsided grin she hadn't seen in far too long.

"Elsa!" she cried out again and buried her face in the crook of her sister's neck. She started to sob and Elsa comforted her.

"Anna," Elsa finally spoke, repeating the name several times as she too began to sob.

* * *

Kai gave the courtyard, and the pair of sisters sobbing in the center, one final look over before closing the castle doors. He didn't need to remind the guards stationed at all the exits of their orders to keep the courtyard empty.

He returned to the throne room where most of the staff had gathered. His people were already hard at work and he was impressed that they hadn't lost their touch after so long. Of course, the majority of the current guards and advisors were tied up and under supervision by another guard, who were heavily armed and ready for resistance. Kai refused to trust anyone who voluntarily served that queen and especially anyone that sat idly by as the princess was hurt.

He regretted every moment not being there at Princess Anna's side and would have been there to give her the support she needed had Queen Elsa not fired him. It had been over a year and half ago now since he'd been dismissed. The day he had been dismissed was the very day Elsa had disappeared. Only he knew that Elsa had really disappeared, knowing the truth about her secret. He wasn't the least bit surprised that her other self had made sure to replace him on day one. Her mistake was not killing him.

In the following weeks and months of his dismissal, the old castle staff, including the government, was replaced with those loyal to Queen Elsa's 'new image', as the new regime was unofficially called. Some left on principal, some were dismissed like Kai, and some of the more stubborn were removed by more extreme measures. Only a few rode out the storm for the sake of Princess Anna and Arendelle itself. Even amongst the new staff and government, they began to see the truth about Queen Elsa's 'new image' and only the most dastardly remained truly loyal to the queen.

He hadn't known what to do after that and ultimately decided the only thing he could do was lay low and keep in contact with those still loyal to the old Queen Elsa. He chose to stay close to the castle, precisely for this moment. To avoid being branded as traitors, Kai and his people couldn't even dream of forming a resistance movement, so instead prepared for a situation just like this.

Kai approached a group of former soldiers and barked out orders to send messengers to several of Queen Elsa's former council members that had taken refuge in Arendelle's frontier. He couldn't help but smile in satisfaction while everyone carried out his will. While everyone else talked about rebellion and deposing the queen, Kai was the only one to urge patience. He was the only one who knew the truth and thus had to convince the rest of them to give Elsa a chance to redeem herself. His hard work paid off and as a result, Elsa's original staff was returning to serve her, rather than rebelling and dethroning her.

As soon as Kai had seen the blizzard forming from within the city, he made his move. Even the current staff had sent people for him, knowing that Kai was waiting precisely for this moment. By the time the storm disappeared, the current staff had all but rebelled and Kai's people arrived just in time to prevent them from doing anything rash like arresting or executing the queen. From there they moved to remove Queen Elsa's other self's loyal men from power and take control of the kingdom. Elsa was going to have a lot to answer to, not to mention re-earning the trust of her old people – who were more loyal to Kai than her at this point – so giving her a smooth transition of power and stability was the least they could do for her.

Technically what he was doing was treason, but Kai was sure this was what Queen Elsa wanted and needed. He was only fulfilling his duty to her. Kai had sworn loyalty to the royal family and was making good on his oath. He would never be able to make up for the pain that he allowed Princess Anna to suffer through, but knowing that they were again reunited was enough to live without regret. The scene in the courtyard was precisely why he'd come back.

"Sir, our messenger has returned from the admiralty, we have the navy's full suppo..." A soldier had approached Kai, but trailed off his report when seeing Kai smiling broadly to himself. "Are you okay, sir?"

"Uh, oh. I'm fine, soldier. I was just overjoyed." The soldier cocked his head to the side. The atmosphere was still extremely tense and no one barely had a moment to rest, let alone stand around idly thinking happy thoughts. "I was just glad this nightmare can finally be put behind us."

* * *

Elsa was the first one to pull back from their long winded embrace. Having spent so long from Anna made her wish this moment would never end, but Elsa knew they had to move forward.

"Anna?" Elsa prodded. Anna herself was coming out of a bout of crying, but she responded with a lopsided grin. Her smiling face filled Elsa with a pleasant but long forgotten feeling of joy.

"Anna, I've missed you so."

"Me, too."

"I..."

"You..."

Despite them both trying to speak at once, Elsa was really unsure what to say. Elsa urged her younger sister to go first, but Anna wouldn't budge.

"Anna...I'm not really sure what to say." Elsa continued to hold Anna's hands and looked straight into her eyes. They sparkled in the sunlight as Anna eagerly awaited Elsa to continue, but something was off. Elsa couldn't pin it down, but there was something dark hidden in those eyes. Just what had happened to her sister, Elsa couldn't even begin to guess.

"Anna, I'm sorry," Elsa quickly blurted out, letting her thoughts slip.

"I'm sorry, too, Elsa," Anna replied. Elsa wanted to refuse her apology, but knew better. She figured Anna would have some guilt and wanted to get it out.

"I guess we have a lot of catching up to do, huh?" Anna continued, laughing at the obvious. Elsa did too, but she now that things were settling down she was starting to take notice of something more serious. This Anna in front of her was not the same Anna she had left behind. Elsa knew over a year had passed, but Anna looked much older than she should. Her posture looked worn and tired and even her unusually bright smile was so much duller than Elsa remembered. There was definitely something hidden behind those eyes.

Anna caught Elsa staring intently and looked away shyly, making Elsa herself realize she'd been staring.

"I'm sorry," Elsa apologized again, bringing her hand to Anna's cheek. "It's just...you look..." Elsa couldn't quite find the right words.

"A lot has happened," Anna answered pointedly, giving Elsa a smile of reassurance that she understood Elsa's concern. It was so forced that Elsa felt nauseated. Anna was wrong if she thought she could hide it from Elsa.

"Please tell me," Elsa begged quietly, even though no one was around to hear them regardless.

Anna stared up into the empty sky, Elsa's hand still holding her face. "Yes," she answered quickly, but went quiet a moment before looking back at Elsa. "Not now though. But I will."

"Perhaps that's for the best." Elsa had to know, but was content with waiting. She already suspected something terrible had happened to Anna and was ready to take responsibility. Not knowing what had happened was torturous, but Elsa was just going to have to suck it up and wait for Anna to be ready. Of course, Elsa was no longer afraid of hurting Anna to help her. There would no longer be any hesitation to do what was right for her. That had already resulted in disaster.

"I'm glad you understand, Elsa."

"Yeah, I think I finally do." Her words had more meaning than Anna probably suspected. Even Elsa didn't realize her double meaning until she caught herself stroking Anna's cheek. "Anna, I really do understand now."

Anna blinked at her silently.

"I had a lot of time to think about us. I was so cruel, wasn't I? You loved me and in truth, I loved you back. But I rejected your love, didn't I?" Elsa continued on.

"Elsa…?" Anne didn't quite pick up on where she was going.

"Please, Anna, let me continue." Elsa closed her eyes, otherwise her emotions would get the best of her. "I love you Anna, more than a sister. I always have and I always will. But with everything that happened, I just couldn't accept that truth. And because of that...I think it led to, well, you know what."

"I know, Elsa. I think I figured that out." The answer was so unexpected that Elsa's eyes shot open. "We really do have a lot of catching up to do," she teased Elsa. This time, her grin was genuine.

Elsa was ecstatic, so much so that she leaned forward without thinking. She had been longing to meet Anna's lips and now that the truth was out, Elsa was ready.

As she leaned in, Anna's hand came up and stopped her. The other one grabbed Elsa's wrist and tightly so. Elsa's senses caught back up to her and she realized Anna was starting to tear up again.

"I'm sorry, Elsa, but I'm not sure I can love you like that anymore." In an instant, Anna became unrecognizable. Her skin was pale, her eyes hollow and devoid of life. Almost like a talking corpse. "Not after what she's done to me."

Elsa was speechless. She pulled away, but after seeing Anna start to break down, her senses once again caught up to her. She regretted pulling away. Anna sniffled and Elsa couldn't take it anymore. In the same moment she began to open her mouth to speak, to tell Anna it was okay, a strong breeze blew down into the courtyard. The breeze must have been off the fjord because it was unexpectedly cold, causing Elsa to shiver.

Elsa's mouth clamped shut at the unexpected feeling. The simple fabric chemise she wore, which looked like it had been an ice dress at one point, was barely keeping the cool spring air at bay and Elsa instinctively wrapped her arms around her body for warmth.

_But why am I so cold?_

"Oh my God, Elsa!" Anna suddenly exclaimed.

Elsa was thrown to the ground as Anna jumped on top of her. She was so warm that Elsa was more thrilled than startled or upset. Perhaps she had seen Elsa shiver, but Elsa realized something else had caused Anna's outburst.

Anna grabbed a handful of Elsa's hair and pulled it around so she could see. "Your hair, Elsa, it's getting darker." Sure enough, the lock of hair Anna held was already turning a light brown.

Elsa's eyes widened and she slapped her hand onto the hard cobblestone ground. Nothing happened, despite Elsa's best efforts. She felt no powers coursing through her body and thus, felt nothing but relief.

"I guess I was a brunette all along."

Anna was watching intently and scoffed at the joke. "Your powers?"

Elsa nodded. If her powers were going, that meant _she_ was going to.

"So, it was true after all," Anna said to herself while flopping off Elsa.

 _Just how much do you know?_ Elsa remained sprawled out on the ground while Anna sat over her.

"You don't look surprised?" Anna pointed out, but Elsa knew it was a question.

"I guess not." Elsa didn't feel any sadness over the loss, if anything she was guilty over not feeling more at losing herself.

"You're not even upset a little?" Anna wouldn't miss her but she wondered about Elsa. That had been a part of herself.

Anna's concern made Elsa's heart race. "I admit it's a bit of a shock, but I really don't feel any different." It was the truth, since Elsa was already used to not having her powers for quite some time already.

"Really?"

"Though it is kind of cold without them." Admittedly, Elsa had rather quickly adjusted to the cool breeze, but nonetheless she smiled greedily when Anna crawled back on top of her and snuggled in close. "It's worth it though." Once again, Elsa's words had a double meaning.

"So, she's gone then?" Anna was sure she gone but she had to know for sure.

Elsa hugged Anna tight. "It's over, little sister."

"Elsa, I'm sorry for taking back my love like that." Elsa could feel Anna's body tremor even before she started to sniffle.

"I refuse to accept that apology." It was time for Elsa to resume her role as queen and Anna's big sister, putting on her serious face.

"Eh?"

"I love you, Anna, which means I'll love you no matter what. Whether that means you love me back, hate me, or anywhere in between makes no difference. I will always love you. If you want to be lovers, then I'll be your lover. If you don't, then I'm fine with that to. If you want to give yourself time before you decide, then I'll wait. But I have one condition and that is that we will always be more than just sisters. Can you accept that?"

"Yes," Anna's answer was immediate, loud, and clear. "We always were, weren't we?"

"And we will be forever. Time will heal all our past troubles as long as we are together. We'll get through everything the future throws at us. Together."

"I think I can accept that," Anna said, still teary eyed. "Do you think you can live like a normal girl now?"

Elsa knew she was supposed to take it as a joke, but she wondered if Anna was upset for her for losing her powers. She decided to address it just in case. "I know you think my powers were special to me, and they were, but they were nothing compared to you. You're worth more than them."

Anna didn't answer, but just sighed in contentment.

"Now come on, let's get this mess cleaned up and our lives back on track."

"Together?"

Elsa smiled. "Together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and Road.
> 
> >be watching Taimadou Gakuen 35 Shiken Shoutai  
> >witch named Mephistopheles takes over one of the character's bodies and claims that she's like her second personality  
> >the character can even hear the outside world too  
> Fucking nips stealing my shit. Also reminder that this is not the final chapter.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews. Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving and don't forget, if you went Black Friday shopping on Thanksgiving or any time before 6 a.m. Friday, you're part of the problem.


	19. Epilogue

Anna knocked on the office door and waited patiently for the answer. The voice of her sister announced she was allowed permission to come in and Anna hurried inside. Elsa had told her many times that Anna did not need to knock, but Anna did so regardless because in her mind, 'Elsa was still the queen'.

Although now their roles were reversed. It would look that way on paper but not so in practice, Anna continued her curtsy as if nothing had ever changed.

"You don't have to knock," Elsa pointed out with a sigh. Her eyes never left the paperwork scattered atop her desk.

Anna brushed the comment aside like she had all the other times and continued toward her sister. "Are you still working?"

"Well, someone has to manage the kingdom," Elsa quipped. "Your majesty," she added sarcastically.

Her sister's tone made Anna chuckle, but her body lost all its posture when she took a seat on top of Elsa's desk. The long sigh she emitted prompted Elsa's next comment.

"Long day?" Elsa's paper scribbling paused for her eyes to lift up to meet Anna's.

"Very," Anna responded mildly.

"It never gets any easier, does it?" It didn't take long for Elsa to continue writing.

"You're telling me."

"You should know how I feel. I haven't been the queen for years, but my workload hasn't gone down one bit." They both took a glance at the stack of paperwork that needed their careful viewing. It was incredible just how much was in one day's worth.

Elsa's snarky comment elicited a _tsk_ from her younger sister and superior. It had been a while now since Elsa had stepped down from the throne and allowed her sister to take her place. Elsa had even relinquished her position as heir to the throne. It had been Elsa's idea from the start-her punishment for her crimes-even though they weren't truly hers to begin with. Elsa stepped down and slipped into the shadows while the people, citizens and foreigners alike, praised the newly crowned Queen Anna as their savior.

It was a fair trade-off in the end. The former Queen was silently pardoned several months after the incident once Queen Anna regained the people's trust in the monarchy and no one batted an eye. Elsa's public life was essentially over and even as a Princess of Arendelle, she barely, if ever, made public appearances. In exchange, Elsa was allowed to live.

But to the two sisters, not much had changed. Elsa's role as queen ended in the public eye, but in private, Elsa's role as queen never really ended. She continued to take responsibility for managing the kingdom, refusing to let the full burden fall onto her sister's shoulders. The only difference that it was now Anna who kept up appearances and had the final say.

It was better this way for both of them and despite Anna's insistence that she greatly enjoyed her new job, there was something that made Elsa skeptical. Her guilt nagged at her every day. She understood that she was not responsible for the actions of her other self, but Elsa felt fully responsible for making Anna take up this position to help cover the whole thing up.

There was something else that nagged at Elsa about her younger sister. It was nothing sinister, but Anna had changed greatly ever since then. She was much more independent and more likely to enforce her own will now. They shared the responsibility of leadership, but Anna would do what she wanted to even without Elsa's approval or input. She had her own secrets and ambitions, but not without her own share of trust issues.

One instance she recalled, was that everyone knew that their blood line would die with them, but Elsa was suspecting that Anna was trying to ensure the monarchy die with them too, for whatever reason. Probably to keep anything like Elsa's other self from ever coming to power again. It was obvious to Elsa on account of her closeness to Anna and the throne, but why Anna kept this plan and her motivations to herself was painful to think about. There was a whole new side to her sister Elsa was never going to experience no matter how long they lived. Even their love for each other could not break down that barrier that Elsa's other self had erected.

"Are you okay, Elsa? You seem to be so distant recently." Anna's sudden voice pulled her from her thoughts.

Elsa looked up from her work to see Anna staring at her intently. She knew a long moment had passed by in silence, but it was not because Elsa was engrossed in her work. It was Anna who had been engrossed in thought with something, but now trying to play it off like it was Elsa's fault.

Elsa noticed this but decided to play along. "Huh? Oh, no I've just been really busy lately."

"Well, try to come to bed at a decent time tonight. You seem to be getting busier and busier, staying up later and later. It's bad for your health, you know? Look, even your hair is starting to show signs of aging, look at all those grey hairs." She made a motion to pat her hair but Elsa ducked her hand.

"Yes, _dear_ ," Elsa grumbled, but silently wondered if that last part was true. Her light brown hair was practically blonde as it was, so it was unlikely that Anna would notice a few grey hairs even if she was getting them. Unless it was something else she was noticing, something Anna could mistake for grey. That something gave butterflies in Elsa's stomach, but she blew it off as unlikely.

"You know, I'm getting sick of your attitude as of late," Anna scolded with amusement. Elsa knew Anna truly loved her and their playful banter confirmed it, but she hated the wall that still separated them. She wanted to tear it down by any means necessary.

Anna hopped off the desk and walked towards the door. "Well, I'm going to bed. Hopefully, I'll see you before I fall asleep?"

Elsa nodded, but didn't make any verbal promises. She had other things she wanted to do first so it was unlikely she'd be able to anyway.

"Well, good-burr!" Anna was cut off with a shiver from a sharp, cold breeze. Elsa's eyes darted up from her desk in terror. "You're insane you know that? It's the middle of winter, keep your darn windows shut!" Anna stomped out of the room and Elsa flew up from her seat to follow her out, playing along with her game knowing that Anna's outburst was all for fun.

"Sorry," Elsa yelled out from her doorway as Anna hurried down the hall.

"You're not immune to the cold anymore, remember?" Anna called back.

Elsa chuckled and kept the charade up. "I know, I know. Warm the sheets up for me then. I'll see you soon."

When Anna disappeared around the corner, Elsa slunk back into her office, closing and locking the door behind her. She let out a long breath and thanked everything that Anna had not actually looked over at the currently closed windows.

Returning to her desk, Elsa cleared the trivial papers from the surface and began to concentrate.

* * *

Meanwhile Anna silently returned to their room, clutching a piece of hair that had clung to her dress from Elsa's desk. When compared to Elsa's fair hair, it was no surprise something that was almost white as snow looked grey.

And back in her office, a smile crept on Elsa's face as frost began to dance across her desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta readers, Mig and Road.
> 
> Sorry to disappoint you, but this isn't a new chapter. I decided to go back and end it here. Originally I had planned this to be the final chapter, but then I decided before posting it to continue one more chapter. I have since decided to reverse that decision end it here on a cliff hanger after all. As I said before, this was my original intention. Besides losing the motivation to write, I also think this idea I had wasn't worth tacking on two chapters to an already finished story without continuing into a whole other story. My idea was to write a 20th chapter where everything turned out to be a big misunderstanding, so a good end. Elsa was trying to restore some parts of her magic because she thought Anna was upset for her losing her powers. Anna was trying to end the monarchy, because she thought that's what Elsa would prefer rather than letting a power vacuum cause conflict. There were no evil intentions.
> 
> I just didn't think it'd fit right without continuing more in depth, which I had absolutely no intention of doing. So I'm going to leave it at this ambiguous cliff hanger. You can choose to believe which ever ending you prefer, the evilElsa is returning/Anna distrusts Elsa bad end or the misunderstanding/good intentions good end. I set it up that way so it would work for both. And to be honest, part of my plan to use the good end was autism to get the chapter count at an even 20 chapters.
> 
> So, sorry for leaving you all waiting and delivering nothing in return. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and sticking with me. Feel free to leave any questions, comments, or reviews. Keep following though, because I may one day find the motivation to return to onionElsa writing, especially when Frozen 2 comes out.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my two beta readers, Mig and Rd.
> 
> So this is my new fic. As the summary says, it's another onionElsa/evilElsa one and this time it's elsanna. Without giving too much away, I should point out that the tags are not to be taken lightly.
> 
> As for updating, I'll try to keep it bi-weekly. I actually took the time to fully plan and outline this fic compared to my other ones, I've already written several chapters in fact. Plus I'm going with generally shorter chapters compared to Blizzards in Arendelle so hopefully there won't be any long waits in between.
> 
> If you have any questions or comments, feel free to ask and hope you enjoy.


End file.
